6yo playing out until 10pm

[eatmytoast]

I don't think IABU but this is not sitting right with me.

I live on a new build estate, my house is right at the start of the development.

There is a boy aged 6 who lives at the furthest back end of the development, however, he is playing outside at our end until 9.30 ish most nights, last night it was 10pm!

There is absolutely no way that his mum can see him from her house, he is completely unsupervised.
I would say it's safe enough apart from cars but surely not for a 6 year old?

You have to understand that I where I grew up we didn't have mixed social housing very much so I'm not used to dealing with street urchins (see, that's an example of snobbish choice of words).

No it's the choice of words of a rude GF.

If people are going to be trolls, can they at least make an effort to do it in a way that's funny or interesting?

Some of you are making assumptions that a child with a bedtime after 10pm is not "getting enough sleep".

Not everyone gets up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, so a "late" bedtime does not neccessarily mean not enough sleep.

We're the same alltouchedout. 7 yr old dd3 is only allowed out if her 10 year old sis is there and both have places they are not allowed to go. School nights they are in by 7.30, winter they don't go out after school unless it's to another house but summer hols they can go out till 8. It's getting dark earlier up here now so curfew time is getting earlier.

But as I've said before dd struggles to sleep so much and doesn't need that much. She is very ahead in her reading at school and is doing very well in other areas.

Ds also had trouble sleeping when he got to 7 or 8 but for all his troubles did well in school in the end,is now in college and is now working.

Sleep is important of course it is but all kids are different surely

I don't know, I thought that flower name quip was pretty funny. You really aren't give much to work with though beyond the obvious hilarity of how outraged you all seem to be. Sooo British!

That's very true carless. Dd10 sleeps at tenish. Wakes up around 8 am on a school day . That's ten hours of sleep!

It's not as much about amount of sleep as it is about quality. My parents were fairly permissive in that respect but it's completely screwed up my circadian rhythms and was the root cause of a lot of grumpiness over the years. Then of course there are a lot of children who just wake up at the crack of dawn no matter what time you put them to bed (cue a distant and traumatised looking gaze).

WooWooSister Surely you mean Bouquet not Bucket!

@CarlessFandango

Some of you are making assumptions that a child with a bedtime after 10pm is not "getting enough sleep".

Not everyone gets up at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, so a "late" bedtime does not necessarily mean not enough sleep.

If your young child (and the OP is on about young children, not teens!) is going to school, they will be getting up at potentially 7 to 7.30am, so going to bed at 10.30-11pm plus means they are NOT getting enough sleep.

Flower it up and try and make excuses as much as you like, but if your child of under 8 y.o. is going to bed at 11pm and having to get up at 7 to 7.30am for school, they are NOT getting adequate sleep. I fear for humanity if people don't see this ...

And just because a poster says what people do not like to hear that does not make them a 'troll.' Dina may not have the best choice of words, but she makes some valid points. Seems to me that some critical and frank posts on here have been making people feel uncomfortable and that is why they are crying TROLL, and calling people 'arrogant snobs.'

You do know that's against the rules do you not ladies?

@blackheartgirl

Dd10 sleeps at tenish. Wakes up around 8 am on a school day . That's ten hours of sleep!

The OP (and me and several others) are talking about SIX year olds, not TEN year olds. And any child staying out til 10pm wouldn't be going to bed at 10pm would they?!

And getting up at 8am for school? Really? Many Children would get up earlier than that. 7.30am at the latest.

@FruitCorner

Why midnight? Your kids may take two hours to wind down at bedtime but mine and plenty of others wouldn't.

I didn't say anything about kids taking time to 'wind down,' I said the parents who let them stay out til 10pm at the age of 6, probably wouldn't care if they didn't go to bed til midnight, not even on a school night. And yeah, a lack of decent sleep WILL affect them emotionally and mentally.

People need to quit pretending it won't.

user1497435493

Have you even read the full thread? People talking about kids going to bed after 10pm are talking about in the school holidays, not term-time. Stop being so bloody patronizing.

You do know that's against the rules do you not ladies?

are you going to tell teacher?

SOME people let kids stay up til 10 and 11pm on school nights. This was mentioned earlier in the thread.

Even so, letting a 6 y.o stay out til 10pm, and up til potentially 11pm, when she only 6, EVEN IF SHE IS NOT AT SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY is ludicrous, and is not good for the child.

I can't believe some of the stuff I am reading on here.

Are you going to tell teacher?

Maybe.

*Where you live obviously is key detaining factor to view on this.

South east very affluent town, and I promise you 1. No one sayes "play out" 2. No allows it*

Rubbish. I live in the 7th most affluent town in Britain and people call it playing out here and shock horror they allow it too.

Op in this situation it's not good though as it's too late and he's too young.

User why the my 10 year old and actually 7 year old as well do get up at 8am. We live a few streets away from the school, everything is prepped the night before and my kids still eat breakfast etc and get to school on time

I know you weren't talking about ten year olds I'm not bloody stupid l

User
I didn't say anything about kids taking time to 'wind down,' I said the parents who let them stay out til 10pm at the age of 6, probably wouldn't care if they didn't go to bed til midnight, not even on a school night.

No you implied that but I chose to ignore this and hope you weren't being so judgmental. We know two things about the child: he is allowed to stay up later than most of us would let our six year olds, he is allowed to play out unsupervised until late. That is all we know The rest is just judgment and stereotyping. We don''t know that the parents don't care.

We are not talking about a school night in the case of the OP.

As for letting my dc stay up till ten well how the hell can I make her sleep. She lies in bed crying and screaming. Because of the trauma her brother put our family through when they were both younger she has some real issues around bedtime.

We try and do our best for our family but we have been to hell and back over the last 5 years and to be honest I'm proud how we've come out the other side

@ user1497435493 More assumptions! Not every child goes to school. Not every child has to be up at 7:30am. Therefore not every child that has a bedtime past 10pm is getting insufficient sleep!

Also, I never 'played out' as a child. It did not make me in the least bit 'sad' instead I spent the time reading which was far more beneficial than running around on the street with a bunch of ingrates

Pity all that reading didn't allow you to find out what "ingrates" means. I'm not sure what you think "ingrates" means but it makes no sense in that sentence.

Rubbish. I live in the 7th most affluent town in Britain and people call it playing out here and shock horror they allow it too

I'm in the 2nd most affluent city in the UK and in a fairly snooty part of it. My son played out with friends from around age 7, not as late as 10 admittedly.

Can you make diary entries when you see the 6yo playing outside and note the dates and times? I agree with you, I'd be worried for the little boy. Playing outside has changed dramatically in the last generation. We used to roam the fields and forests as a group of friends and only get home for dinner time or when the streetlights came on. Very different world today, I'm afraid.

Playing outside has changed dramatically in the last generation. We used to roam the fields and forests as a group of friends and only get home for dinner time or when the streetlights came on. Very different world today, I'm afraid

Could you explain? What is the difference?

I find the obsession with early bedtimes a British thing, a lot of other countries allow kids to stay up later and have naps/ siestas. Or get up later as it's the holidays...

Maybe the other children are siblings? I love to hear the kids playing out.
My 9 yr old is out on her bike until 9 in the light nights. I do worry about traffic. But all I can do is try to tell her how to keep safe.
Playing out is invaluable - conflict resolution, group skills, imaginative play, learning boundaries all without constant adult intervention. Brilliant.

Not saying anyone is a 'bad' parent, just that they're probably not doing the best thing for their young (infant age) child by letting them stay up til after the pubs close!!!

If they don't have to get up early the next morning then there's nothing bad about letting them stay up late so long as it suits them (some children need earlier bedtimes because they always wake up at the crack of dawn). DD has sleep issues which mean that her natural rhythm is much later (roughly 11/12pm to 10/11am) and has been since she was a baby. During term time she has to go to bed early and often needs medication to actually fall asleep because its too early for her purely because she has to be up at half 7 the next morning so in the holidays I give her a break from all that, a break from the stress of lying in bed unable to sleep and a break from medication.

Could you explain? What is the difference?

The difference is that British parents have become more paranoid over the last few decades and due to those fears prevent their children from having the freedom they need www.daynurseries.co.uk/news/article.cfm/id/1570592/children-england-less-freedom-play-unsupervised

Its the not playing out after dark that makes me laugh so much - if children weren't allowed to play out after dark where I live they'd never get to play out in the winter so here children are allowed to play out after dark from a young age, play out late in the summer time (everyone changes their rhythm in the summer to much later bedtimes - bit hard not to when the sun is still shining brightly at 10pm! Even worse up north where it doesn't set for two months - you don't sleep much at all in the summer there). In my town most children are free to roam the whole town (its a small town) by about 8 years old, usually in small gangs. School days are short (just 4 hours at that age) so the afternoons are full of playing out which is the main way for children to get their 3 hours of exercise a day which is needed and is probably why the children here are amongst the fittest in Europe.

All those saying this is neglect would have a shock if they ever came to Germany. Kids here take themselves off to school from a very young age and we always have kids playing in our little park right up til 9:30/10:00.

My own 7 year old DS was in the park playing with his buddies til 9:30 last night, he knows where I am and they're are other adults on the estate. I always put a jug of juice on the outside table, the kids help theirselves and have a whale of a time. It's the holidays and kids need fresh air and vitamin D.

I really feel for kids nowadays, I know it's not as safe in the uk as it was when I was growing up in the 80s/90s but surely playing out isn't neglect?!