6yo playing out until 10pm

[eatmytoast]

I don't think IABU but this is not sitting right with me.

I live on a new build estate, my house is right at the start of the development.

There is a boy aged 6 who lives at the furthest back end of the development, however, he is playing outside at our end until 9.30 ish most nights, last night it was 10pm!

There is absolutely no way that his mum can see him from her house, he is completely unsupervised.
I would say it's safe enough apart from cars but surely not for a 6 year old?

How playing out is a neglectful lower class thing is beyond me. I loved on a cul de sac and played out. There was almost always an adult out watching us. And to be honest, only on mumsnet are people so obsessed with the British class system and I don't agree but I wouldn't class my upbringing as 'Lower class*

running around on the street with a bunch of ingrates.

I'm a bit lost for words...

I'm not sure all your reading did much for your vocabulary. Ingrates?

longest, I checked I hadn't misunderstood the word 'ingrate' all these years (I hadn't) but urban dictionary (of course, much more reliable than the OED) has it as 'lower class of human'

It's a bit chicken/egg with whether traffic will drive carefully enough which is why my kids don't do traditional playing out but the neighbours and I have fenced off some railway land as a communal play area and the kids play out there.

"running around on the street with a bunch of ingrates."

Some of can actually read. As well!!

Melvin 😮. Perhaps she was reading Mein Kampf?

What a hateful thing to say Dina.

All the children play out where I am. There is about 30 of them together, on bikes scooters and tractors, playing football outside together every single day.

It's absolutely lovely.

Yes playing out exposes your child to more danger and risk than keeping them in the house or garden but, as with all things, it is possible to rationalise the risk and weigh it against the benefits.

I would respectfully point out that anyone who isn't sad that they missed out on unsupervised play is simply proving that people don't miss what they've never had.

I have four teens and, amongst their friends, there is a 14yo who has never had a moment of unsupervised or unstructured play in his life. He spent his childhood in school, his mother's car, an approved hobby or play date. He has never had to handle any situation or conflict without knowing an adult was on hand to help.

Yes, all potential dangers minimised but his lack of resilience and independence is notable. There is a reason schools and employers bemoan a lack of common sense in generation z, and why terms such as cotton wool parenting and helicopter parenting have been coined for them.

Some of the comments on here are crazy. Most of the kids round here play out regularly and most are well cared for. Hell I even let my 7 year old play out sometimes (with rules and only in front of the house for us). It is quite normal though for children to have a little freedom and play out. Most of the kids my daughter's age roam all over the town tbh. NOT that late at night though. I don't think that's appropriate at all.

At that age he should be tucked up in bed fast asleep. Neglectful parenting, at best.

I think it is perfectly fine to say it's not for you btw, but neglectful it is not.

You are not a better parent for micromanaging your child and judging those who allow more freedom.

Neglectful parenting, at best.

I'm not sure you have anywhere to go with that statement. What's the worst case then?

Or is it just meaningless hyperbole?

Call SS, it may be the piece of the puzzle they need.

Only joking, sounds absolutely fine 10pm is about the time my kids go to bed in the holidays (Im one of THOSE mums with no set bed time, they just go to bed when tired) and if I lived in a nicer place with a couple of older kids they'd probably be out at that time. They are usually bouncing around on their trampoline until about 9.30pm currently!

My friend who is VAIR posh and lives in a VAIR nice cul de sac has her DD out until about that time with her older friends. 2 9 year olds with a 6 year old is absolutely fine.

Neglectful parenting?

Turn it in FFS

Dina you can still be a voracious reader and still play outside you know.
Thank God my parents had the sense to encourage me to do both. Playing out as a kid taught me independence and gave me confidence socially. Some of the best memories I have is of making dens with my friends, going fishing for sticklebacks in the local stream and just playing.

My neighbours kids are not allowed out all. Both the same age as mine 10 and 7. They get ferried about by car to various activities, are both in bed by 730 every night and when my kids are playing with their friends we can see them staring out the window at them until they get shouted at to stay away from the window's. We know why they're not allowed out, their parents think we're council house scum but as I hear the eldest scream and swear at his mum and my kids are well behaved and polite I can't help feeling a little sad for them

The time in itself isn't necessarily a problem - loads of kids where I live are up late in the holidays, and pre schoolers, as they don't have to get up in the morning.

The problem comes when one child ends up being the only one out because the others are all in. I let my DD play out but check on her regularly, and always constantly watch if she's the only one out as no one would be able to tell me if she had an accident.

As it is, DD has a much earlier bedtime than the other kids where we live, and often complains, but I just tell her we make the rules for her, other parents make the rules for their kids.

I would be concerned about this child if he definately wasn't being watched at all - at any time of day.

I am actually amazed that people think a 6 year old being out or even up at 10pm is acceptable. It might be for you but for most responsible people it's unheard of.
But hey your bubba ur rulz Huns

@Sirfred you can supervise your kids and not get involved. Just because you are watching them doesn't automatically mean you make decisions on how they play/resolve conflicts etc.
They learn all that stuff in the school yard also.

Also, I never 'played out' as a child. It did not make me in the least bit 'sad' instead I spent the time reading which was far more beneficial than running around on the street with a bunch of ingrates

Ingrates eh? What are they ungrateful for? Their freedom perhaps?

Part of the process towards being let outside to play should be teaching of safety rules like not running out on roads and things like that - parents that don't teach their children those things and then turn them loose are being neglectful but parents that do teach those things and then turn their children loose are most definitely not being neglectful, they are allowing their children to have the freedom that is so important in childhood and helps them develop many necessary life skills. It takes courage to let your children out unsupervised despite your worries, its not the easy option at all.

Yep, you stick to your parenting and I'll stick to mine Fluffy.

Neither is right or wrong, its what works for you and yours and I'll stick to what works for me and mine, as long as there's no safeguarding or welfare issues its all good :)

I wasn't allowed out until 10 until I was about 15!

My 7 year old is often up till ten in the hols. She plays out with her sister and other kids her age until about 8 pm then she's in the house bathed pjs on and settled down by 9. She's an anxious little thing and has always struggled to go to sleep at night, she also doesn't need a lot of sleep. When she was going to sleep by 8 she was up at 4!

I'm laughing at all these posts. Neglectful is not a late bedtime or playing out ffs

Oh and she plays where I can see her, she doesn't roam