To hit the next person who tells me I have double trouble

[Handsfull13]

I have twins - I prefer to say two babies. They are lovely and I'm so proud of myself for coping with them.
But why oh why does everything have to be a negative.
I'm sick of hearing 'you've got your hands full' and 'oh look double trouble'
You would never go up to someone with one child and tell them they have trouble. The same as you wouldn't say 'double trouble' to someone with two child of different ages so why is it perfectly acceptable to tell me I have 'double trouble'.
How can I respond to these comments without killing someone?

Oh sorry, think I misunderstood. You mean you try to use their names rather than just calling them 'the twins'?

Yup. Fred, Barry and George rather than Fred and the twins

(Not really their names)

penny I definitely agree that questions about conception are out of line. Things like 'double trouble' etc - I just cannot see it. But as you say I'm not a twin mum so ok, I get your point.

When mine were 3 - one wanted a tea party and the other wanted to go to the beach with his granddad to fly a kite and take the dog

Que party invited from X

I had some many people tell me it 'wasn't fair' 'how could you?'

What give them each the day the wanted??

Nobody batted an eyelid when the elder one wanted a baoumcy castle for hers

GreenTulips When my twin nephews were a similar age or slightly older, one wanted a snooker table for christmas, the other just wanted the white gloves so he could be the person who wiped the balls and puts them back! They were each delighted! DB & DSIL also got him a bow tie and jacket so he could look the complete part. Fairness isn't always about equality.

A lot of people refer to my two daughters as 'the girls'. Probably because they can't remember their names, I have done it to others too. Personally I think you need to just suck it up, and if they're not hard work or 'double trouble' be grateful!

Golly I wouldn't dream of being so rude

Queenof

I'm a twin. My brother and I were double trouble, and I have no idea how my mum coped (still copes!) with us.
Just because we were the same age everyone assumed we would be great friends, like the same stuff etc etc. We weren't. We still aren't. We must have driven her mad, we fought continually.
What really irritates me though is people who say (to me, a female) "a twin brother? Are you identical?" Errrrr no.....

Oh, and We both hated being referred to as "the twins" rather than by our names. We loathed getting joint presents and joint cards addressed to the twins as if we were one person.

My sils hated being called twins too, but hated twinny even more!

I have two boys who are nearly three years apart. TBH they are double trouble, I have got my work cut out etc, two boys is bloody hard etc and I would be the first to say so before anyone else gets the chance. I love them really

A neighbour got twin puppies and told me they were called Double and Trouble. I said the names would sound the same to the puppies. She said 'no they won't cos I call them Dubs and Trubs!'

@OuchLegoHurts noc, I do NOT suggest that we don't talk to each other.

But I suggest that we ALL think about "small talk phrases" and how they might hurt other people.

It's not as if sustainig from using small talk phrases and assumptions on other peoples lives is in any way needed to communicate.

Is it really necessary to tell somebody who has a boy and a girl that they "have all they can wish/are complete now"?
They might have lost a child. They might desperatly want more kids and are unable to conceive. Or whatever.

I've got a friend who has 4 boys, then one girl. She get's jokingly told CONSTANTLY that "now she's got what she wants/a girl she can stop".
Even while her boys stand next to her.

And these people when she pull sthem up on it will all claim that they are "just making small talk" and "no need to get offended".
But it's still thoughtless and mean and really unnecessary. If these people just want to exchange some words with her, why not go for "Your kids are lovely/look really sweet/it's nice to see a big family" instead of implying that she did not really want all these boys and was just trying for a girl.

You have two lovely babies and you are overreacting

I have twin girls and their older sister Hadn't turned two when they were born so when I was about with three children under 2 in a double buggy and a sling I got loads of comments. I always replied "Amn't I very lucky" with a smile.

I hear you. We have triplets and I keep a mental tally of the times I hear "ooh, you've got your hands full on each trip to the supermarket. (The record is 7.) Yes, it's a bit annoying, but their worst crime is being moronically unimaginitive. I don't mind these comments too much. I do mind people saying things like "that's my worst nightmare".

You do have a choice about whether or not you let it irritate you. I try to respond with something positive like "Yes, it's hard work, but we wouldn't have it any other way" or "we waited a long time for these babies and we're very lucky to have them".

I would never in a million years have ticked the box to say "yes please, give me triplets" because I wouldn't have begun to imagine how we would cope, so I can understand other people wondering the same thing, but it isn't helpful to comment. And on the days when I don't feel I am coping - and there are definitley days like that (although I'm probably rocking in the corner rather than venturing out to the supermarket) it's even more unhelpful.