To hit the next person who tells me I have double trouble

[Handsfull13]

I have twins - I prefer to say two babies. They are lovely and I'm so proud of myself for coping with them.
But why oh why does everything have to be a negative.
I'm sick of hearing 'you've got your hands full' and 'oh look double trouble'
You would never go up to someone with one child and tell them they have trouble. The same as you wouldn't say 'double trouble' to someone with two child of different ages so why is it perfectly acceptable to tell me I have 'double trouble'.
How can I respond to these comments without killing someone?

how the hell is there an issue with calling them twins? unless you also object to 'brothers' 'sisters' 'children' 'kids' 'sibling' or any other normal grouping term used to refer to kids?

I have 4 DC and depending who i am talking about i refer to 'the twins' 'the boys' 'the girls' 'the older two' 'the middle two' 'the younger two' 'the kids' - it is what they are. they are of course all individuals but occasionally a grouping term is appropriate.

and my boys choose to dress the same quite often, as do my girls. doesnt stop them being individuals at all! and sometimes the DTs (b/g) choose to wear their 'thing 1' and 'thing 2' tops which they chose themselves.

they are both individuals and twins and each is important as the other: eg: the twins are enjoying reception but Amy is loving maths while Ben prefers reading.

I never said I had a problem calling them twins but ever since we found out we were having two that's what we've said. Two babies, I'm also very aware of putting in habits that reaffirm them being individuals.
That first comment was just to be lighthearted before getting things off my chest.
I was chatting with other twin mums today and they all agreed we barely hear positives from random strangers even while we were pregnant. And as soon as I left the coffee shop I heard double trouble and hands full three times on route to the car.
I know it's natural cliches but maybe they shouldn't be so natural to come out with them to random strangers

Twins do fascinate people, undoubtedly. Ours were perhaps less noticeable as 4/5 and slotted in with quite close aged siblings. We had the odd 'double trouble' but more usually 'peas in a pod' comments. I don't recall negative comments about the twins specifically but certainly teasing around the need for bromide in his tea or buya television.

I think the most tedious comment I used to get (identical twin boys) was "Are they twins?" The fact they were seated side by side in a double buggy, the same size, looked the same and generally dressed the same was not a clue.
People thought they were being most amusing when the boys were both crying and they would comment about "Stereo crying".
I let it all wash over me, they were a handful though, especially when they got mobile

good luck OP

I get it. Yanbu.

I've got identical twins now 10. In the early days every second person would make similar comments when we were out. One day I was out with a friend and she said if one more person said double trouble she was going to scream.

Yes it's well meaning but it's the same constant comments. It gets old fast!

My children are 14m apart and people have always said it to me, I take it with relief as mine actually were double trouble! Take it as a compliment in a weird sort of way.

I had twins when my oldest was 2. I did get fed up of having to smile at the same comments many times a day, but people are fascinated and just trying to be friendly.

What I found rude was people asking "are they natural?" , and lavishing attention on the oblivious twin babies whilst my son stood there watching them. He would always comment afterwards, "why didn't she ask my name, mummy?" or "why do they not ask anything about me?". I felt sad for him as he was already very jealous.

Queen - I don't like it when people who know them lump them together rather than use their names 'would the twins like a drink' 'how are the twins getting on at school?' Their cousins always get their own names. I don't get arsey with people though, just inwardly seethe.

That said I do refer to them as 'the kids' if I'm talking about them.

I am guilty of saying double trouble in the past. I will be more careful in future.

But I meant it as in they are cute, fun and definitly not negative. People notice twins because most people don't have twins. I really don't think anyone would say anything to any mum with their children like this to be negative, they are just making conversation. I always feel a little bit amazed when I see twins.

I have twins, just about to turn two. Drives me crazy with the constant 'double trouble' and 'you've got your hands full' or 'must be hard work' comments. I just respond that they are really good and no it's not hard and I much prefer having twins over two singletons. They have nothing to say after that. But yes, it can drive you slightly insane!

I only have the one, and people used to say. Oh she's a little bag of trouble.
Here comes trouble ect. Theres no malice in it. Kids are supposed to be mischievous and playful. You don't 2 perfect robots, do you.
You could see the mischief dancing in my dds eyes.

No, I get double the hugs!

I have two singletons with a very very hard work 2 year old. I get very similar comments every single time we go out!

Lean in conspiratorially , and day " actually it's quads, but I refuse to take the ugly ones out " and wink. That should get then to stfu.

I have 5 children. All blonde and blue eyed (like me). We must look like the Von Trapp family sometimes, so I get why people glance at us occasionally.

Are they all yours?
You've got your hands full!
Was it buy one get one free?
Haven't you got a tv?
Want another one love?
I could never handle so many children.
You must be mad!
Are you on benefits?
Do they all have the same dad?
I suppose they all just look after each other.
Have you never heard of contraception?
Were they planned?

All questions or statements fired at me by complete strangers over the past 16 years.

Some people are just rude. It's their problem, not yours.

I always reply, "No - twice as nice" and give a smile.
I agree with the PP's who don't like to see twins dressed the same. I really think it's wrong. Just look on the TAMBA website for the reasons it is harmful to the twins. Plus it looks naff.

It abates as they get older. Mine are 2 (and have an only slightly older brother) and I get a lot of "you've got your hands full". It's been a long time since I got a "double trouble" or "are they identical" (helps that now they have hair one is blonde and one is brunette). There are quite a few "aww cute", but generally only when one is sleeping.

It used to annoy me too, but the novelty seems to wear off for strangers as they get older and so the comments settle too.

All the best with everything. It's a crazy rollercoaster this twin thing!

Ps. Mine are often dressed the same (at the request of the older brother who thinks is makes him feel more included)

Oh, and I've had most of the worst ones including a senior manager at work who said if they found they were expecting twins that they'd kill themselves. That was fun...

A mother of twins asked me if mine were "double trouble" (they're not, they're 13 months apart) so presumably she found the term fitting. I get told I have my hands full, the lads get called "little mischief". It's no big deal, just small talk.

I have said this before I had children.
I've also asked if they are different and then answered myself by saying 'sorry, ignore the idiot, of course they are different they are different people'
It's just something to say.
Double the fun?

Yab-slightly-u (mum of twins plus 2 older so I've heard them all).

Twins are adorable. Mine are fantastic, even when they are being 'double trouble'. My twins worked out how to work together, which is something the older two never did, being 2 years apart) so they do get into twice as much mischief.

If it bugs you though, find some stock answer to trot out.

"Shit, where's the other one?" (While looking around desperately for a missing child)
"one for spares and repairs"
"Twice as nice"
"I found this one in the park and just had to have them".
"Oh this is just half of them" (in my case, said quite breezily"
"Yeah, dh/dp was quite pissed to get two kids and only one shag" - a twist on dh jokingly telling everyone we've 4 kids and he only got 3 goes. It's my favourite go to when strangers get too nosey. Although tbh I'm happy to talk about them if people want to know.

And as for "Are they identical?" Mine are boy/girl twins. One with very dark curly hair, the other with much fairer hair, although darkening a little as he ages.

They clearly don't look like twins at all now, much more like same height siblings. But when they are babies, it's the generally the first question anyone asks about twins, followed by "do they run in the family?" (No, they're not old enough).

But yeah. I understand people getting frustrated by daft comments but I treasure each of my children ever more closely as friends of mine try and sadly fail to conceive/lose children. I'm grateful to know each and every child I've knowingly conceived.

OP. People aren't being unkind. They are making a joke

It's NOT funny

I never refer to mine as 'The twins' it's rude - they have names -

I never say 'singleton' to a single baby.

I hated the double trouble,
which Ones the evil one?
BOGOF?
Are they identical
Are they yours?
Are they natural?

I had a two year old when they were born and when anyone asked 'Who's the eldest' She'd pipe up and say 'ME' it was quite funny!

Green all I have to add to your comment is I do call mine 'the twins' when talking about them. Same as I'd say, the girls, the boys, the kids.

My twins are boy and girl and so not looking alike. If you didn't know they were twins, it would be easy to think they were just close in age.

However; identical twins will always be seen as twins. Same sex twins often look similar. Mine had to be taught that they are the same as they are as different to each other, that they shared the same womb, birthday etc. We celebrate their different personalities etc. But they need to know their special twin quality too

Mine had to be taught that they are the same

Mine are also B/G

I haven't taught them anything other than how unique and individual they are.