to have a hysterectomy aged 25?

[Kimberly343]

I have two DCs, I always imagined my life with two children. We live in a 3 bedroomed home with no wish to move and love that the DCs each have their own 'space'. Another DC is definatley off the cards, my second DC was born with a genetic disease that limits their life dramatically so any further children we would either need to pay privatley for PGD IVF or run the risk of another child affected/terminate a pregnancy after testing. All of these would be a great strain on us all.

I spoke to my GP about a hysterectomy as I don't get on well with hormonal contraception, had a coil fall out and have horrendous periods. The GP practically laughed it off and said I am far too young to be considered and I am likely to change my mind. I definatley will not, regardless of my circumstances I 100% don't want any more children, shall I see another GP or am I silly to do this?

Ah I can't see that update Pencils! Thanks for letting me know

You don't have to be sterilised for ablation though (speaking from experience).

Literally had a conversation about this with some friends of my friend while mingling at a party. Both in their 40s with grown up kids. One had had a hysterectomy after her first two kids were born and bitterly regrets it, as marriage broke down, and by the time she met her current husband, her kids were in late teens and he had no kids - and wanted them. She said they had lots of counselling to accept it before they got married, and have had to work on moving past the fact that they love each other but won't be having their own family. Other lady had her tubes tied, again kids were late teens when she met second husband. Went to see a good doctor and had tubes restored and they have two boys 8 and 10. So my example is - go for tubes tied if possible.

And vasectomies are often reversible, which makes more doctors willing to carry them out. It's widely considered the most appropriate option given the different implications of the procedures.

Female sterilisation usually requires a GA, posing more risks in itself. Plus more complications for female sterilisation than vasectomies following the procedure. Less risk = more doctors willing to do the job.

I've never said on this thread that the OP shouldn't have a sterilisation, it's the hysterectomy that is the issue .

When a woman requests a sterilisation she is asked to consider, among other things, 'What if you split up? What if your partner dies? What if you one day start a new relationship?' All reasonable questions to consider before having something permanent done.

Those questions work both ways though, surely?

If a woman who wanted a sterilisation is persuaded that it would be much better for her partner to get a vasectomy instead and then they split up or he dies, she's back to square one with contraception. Given that she is overwhelmingly more likely to be the one left bringing up her DC, I'd have thought she is the most likely in most cases to be sure she doesn't want any more children.

Also, infidelity happens, rape happens.

A woman who wants to control her own fertility wants to control her own fertility and should have the right to do that, not just be safe from pregnancy as long as she stays with the man she's with now, is totally faithful and doesn't get raped.

What if her partner has terrible regret and the poor doctors have to look at his devastated face?

Pencil, I like a bit of deadpan humour.

I, as part of my job, see many devastated faces, I just prefer not to have directly caused the devastation. Silly, I know.

But, other than that, I agree with your points.
Her body, her choice IMO.

Going away from the emotive subject of contraception and how fertility (unwanted or lack of) affects women and men differently, the fact remains that informed consent is a difficult thing to achieve.

People, say, with back pain due to disc prolapse may be desperate to have surgery as they are in agonising pain which is difficult to control with painkillers and other medications.
Any neurosurgeon worth their salt will consider surgery if adequate trials of meds have been given, intensive physiotherapy has failed, and will discuss risks of surgery in rather horrible details (including death and lifelong disability). Staying with this example, only a small percentage of people with disk problems will qualify for surgery, of those only 50% will derive benefit from surgery. So, what's known as 'conservative' management is an active part of treatment.

Anyway, we digress, I hope this thread has been helpful to the OP and she finds what she wants.

it's about the doctor's professional duty not to carry out an operation which the patient might later feel has had devastating permanent consequences.

The OP believes there could be devastating permanent consequences (like a new human being, possibly with a congenital illness) if the doctor refuses to carry out a sterilisation at least.

You don't have to be sterilised for ablation though

You do in our PCT. they won't refer me as I potentially able to carry a baby. Except I am infertile.

I think we basically agree, Pacific. Informed consent is where it's at and I understand what you said about conservative management. The problem is that women don't seem to be believed by so many HCP, in this and many other areas.

We are not believed when we say we have properly considered all the implications.
We are not believed when we say we know we don't want any / any more children.
We are not believed when we say other forms of contraception don't work for us.
We are not believed when we describe the effects another pregnancy would have on us and on our families.
We are not believed when we say our periods are hellish.
We are not believed when we say we are in pain.

Men and women should be counselled properly before sterilisation. We shouldn't have to keep going back year after year after year and begging because we are not being believed.

Yes, I do think we basically agree

Men and women should be counselled properly before sterilisation. We shouldn't have to keep going back year after year after year and begging because we are not being believed.

Yes, totally.

I didn't need to be sterilised for my ablation but dh had a vasectomy 9 years ago. But there was a song and dance about contraception.

You do in our PCT. they won't refer me as I potentially able to carry a baby. Except I am infertile.

That is absurd, and it happens when a well-meant and maybe even sensible guideline (you know, to guide HCP) are seen as Tablets Of Stone.

"Personalised healthcare" - my wobbly bottom!
It's a great buzz word, it gets politicians elected, but it is only possible with increase resources: more people, more time to spend on training, face to face contact with patients, easy accessibility to expert information and help.
One size fits all healthcare is 'more efficient' and of course more cost effective.

If only somebody with power would stand up and say you cannot have ever more 'efficiency' in an already groaning and overloaded system while also at the same time have personalised health care.

OK. Sorry. You set me off. I'll get off me soap box.

Pacific I totally agree with you.

They couldn't answer me when I said to them, if I come in pregnant, will you ask me "what if I change my mind". I am so cross that they basically won't allow me body autonomy because I haven't got a man to make the decision with me

"Personalised healthcare" - my wobbly bottom!

I want that on a t shirt

I hope you get that sorted out Jaques, it sounds total shit

Thanks Pencils.

I'm currently trying my 6th different minipill and it's less bad. So it maybe the best I can do for now.

I can't fault my own GP. She is just stymied by stupid rules and regulations that have tied her hands.

It would be nicer if it was like the Pirate Code. More guidelines

Early hysterectomy is linked with increased risk of osteoporosis and heart disease so this will be part of medical reluctance.

DH would have a vasectomy, but I would prefer to take care of things my end. When thinking of 'future scenarios' I do not want any more children, so in the event of losing my DH to an accident, or we divorce I do not want to be back at square one. I find this a little odd that many posters believe I am too young to make a decision like this but yet DH (same age) should be encouraged instead?!

It's far easier , or appears to be more successful to reverse a vasectomy .

I'm at home recovering from a hysterectomy and can't believe anyone would for this to themselves for contraceptive purposes. Huge operation. The support groups are full of folk with prolapses, early menopause- even if you keep ovaries, abdominal trouble. The extended recovery is driving me potty.
Even with my huge fibroids znd bleeding I'm glad I went through all the pre stages before this. I feel like a truck hit me - at least I feel sure this was my only remaining option.

I had a full ovaries everything hysterectomy at 23. Now late 40,s yes it does cause major health issues. But not as bad as the one that caused it.

I don't think you're too young to decide you don't want any more children. I'm 26 myself, 37 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and we've decided we don't want any more.

But I still think that having an elective hysterectomy purely to eradicate chance of reproduction and periods is extreme. If you were at risk of ovarian cancer or other life limiting diseases then I'd completely understand. Sterilisation, I can also understand, but the reason I suggested vasectomy is because there are much less risks involved. Nothing to do with your right to decide if you want more children.

I can understand your reasoning and they are good ones BUT I was a very different person in my mid thirties to my mid twenties.
At least a vasectomy has a chance of reversal if needed - a hysterectomy/sterilisation not.

I don't understand why the OP isn't allowed to know her own mind. It baffles me, setting aside the potential health risks, why does no one believe her that she doesn't want more children?

With my tin foil hat adjusted extra tight, what I reckon is that it fills men (patriarchal society) with horror to witness a woman deciding she doesn't want to be fertile any more. It's what we're for so how dare we throw that away and not leave the option open at all for some man, some day, to impregnate us?