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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have a hysterectomy aged 25?

208 replies

Kimberly343 · 13/08/2017 14:57

I have two DCs, I always imagined my life with two children. We live in a 3 bedroomed home with no wish to move and love that the DCs each have their own 'space'. Another DC is definatley off the cards, my second DC was born with a genetic disease that limits their life dramatically so any further children we would either need to pay privatley for PGD IVF or run the risk of another child affected/terminate a pregnancy after testing. All of these would be a great strain on us all.

I spoke to my GP about a hysterectomy as I don't get on well with hormonal contraception, had a coil fall out and have horrendous periods. The GP practically laughed it off and said I am far too young to be considered and I am likely to change my mind. I definatley will not, regardless of my circumstances I 100% don't want any more children, shall I see another GP or am I silly to do this?

OP posts:
IAmTheDragon · 13/08/2017 15:29

This lady really struggled to get one at 30, but it can be done:

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/i-fought-a-four-year-battle-with-the-nhs-to-be-sterilised-at-30/

WinterIsComingKnitFaster · 13/08/2017 15:30

So sorry to hear about your DC2's condition OP.

To some extent it depends on what you mean by "horrendous" periods. The fact that the OP has mentioned these suggests that she really does want a hysterectomy not just tied tubes. If they're properly disabling and you definitely don't want children then hysterectomy might be appropriate but only after you've exhausted all other options.

Twenty years until you're forty five and reached the end of your fartile window is a very long time though - PGD/IVF could get much easier and cheaper in that time or you could come into money or remarry.

Floralnomad · 13/08/2017 15:32

iam that was a sterilisation not a hysterectomy

Original poster
Kimberly343 · 13/08/2017 15:33

I would prefer a hysterectomy, at present I have a heavy, painful period for 2 weeks of every month and no hormonal contraceptive/medication has been able to help. However the GP wouldn't even discuss sterilisation, and was of the opinion I am too young and will change my mind. I know I am 100% in not wanting any other children, that won't change and I don't want to risk an accidental pregnancy before the time they think I am 'old enough'. My 1st DC was a suprise baby after using both the pill and condoms and 2nd DC was concieved in the first month so I think we are both fairly fertile so it is always a risk.

OP posts:
heliumrising · 13/08/2017 15:33

You may need some gynae treatment and support in other ways, but a hysterectomy would be a bizarre approach at your age.

RJnomore1 · 13/08/2017 15:35

Are you sure you mean you want a hysterectomy op?

If so without a medical reason yabvvvvvu for the reasons given above. My friend had one at 32 and has had every menopause symptom you can think of, depression, weight gain, and now incontinence and a prolapse. She medically needed it but the fallout has not been easy.

Dailystuck71 · 13/08/2017 15:36

You can't just ask for a hysterectomy. I had to go through a lot and many years to get mine. I had to exhaust ever other possible treatment for heavy periods first.

Orangebird69 · 13/08/2017 15:39

I can definitely understand why you don't want any more dc if there's a chance of passing down a genetic issue again - my ds is a CF gene carrier (although we don't know whether it's me, dh or both that carry the gene as CF was tested for in the heel prick test until 2007(?)) and we don't want to take any more risks with a 2nd dc.

Have you tried Mirena?

Orangebird69 · 13/08/2017 15:39

wasn't tested for...

notapizzaeater · 13/08/2017 15:40

I had a hysterectomy (cancer so no choice) but I wouldn't have one for any other reason - but like a baby, you know what's coming but you are not prepared for it

Floralnomad · 13/08/2017 15:41

A lot of people would like a hysterectomy , me included , because you'd like one doesn't mean you are going to get it . Have you looked at the cost of having it done privately .

SoPassRemarkable · 13/08/2017 15:43

Have you thought about endometrial ablation? Curedmy heavy periods and no hormones.

Have you tried tranexamic acid? Dd is finding these help with periods.

PollyPerky · 13/08/2017 15:44

PacificDogwod Sun 13-Aug-17 15:21:52
There is some evidence that hysterectomy can trigger easier menopause
I think even sterilisation can....?

Absolutely not

The evidence is that a hyster will often cause the ovaries to fail within 2-3 years. So women experience an earlier menopause. At 25 this would be a disaster and mean HRT for another 25 years at least.

PoppyPopcorn · 13/08/2017 15:45

A hysterectomy does not effect your hormones. Hormones are produced by the ovaries which are only removed in an ovariohysterectomy not a hysterectomy. So an early menopause is not a risk.

Not true. I've had a hysterectomy. I still have my ovaries but the gynaecologist warned that they may pack up sooner than they would have done had I kept my uterus intact. I am however 20 years older than the OP.

OP, I hear you on the horrendous periods. I've been there and it's shit. I had a huge fibroid which was causing the bleeding, have you been referred for investigations to see what's causing yours? If your GP isn't sympathetic then see another - ask to be referred for an ultrasound and to a gynaecologist.

Hysterectomy is a huge operation. I had my abdominal hysterectomy in November, was in hospital for 3 nights, in a LOT of pain, no driving for 6 weeks, no lifting for 6 months. My kids are all older but there's no way you'd be lifting a toddler after an abdominal hysterectomy. It's also the end of the line when it comes to treating heaviy periods - you've tried the coil and don't get on with contraception, but there is a whole range of other things like ablation or Mirena to look into first. That's why you need to see a gynaecologist.

On the contraception side - get your DH off down the clinic for the snip. Although if he's the same age as you, they may be reluctant too because of his age.

PollyPerky · 13/08/2017 15:45

The cost of a hysterectomy done privately is around £6k-£7K but not bona fide surgeon would do one for birth control issues on a woman of 25.

Being very very frank, if your DH and DCs were wiped out in an tragic accident you may wish in time to have more children.

SoPassRemarkable · 13/08/2017 15:45

And I do think you have a right to see another GP to discuss sterilisation again. I was sterilised at 27yo on the NHS. Never regretted it. But I guess funding may be tighter now?

PoppyPopcorn · 13/08/2017 15:47

Have you looked at the cost of having it done privately

Around £10k. Possibly less if you have it keyhole.

SoPassRemarkable · 13/08/2017 15:47

PP is correct. When I discussed hysterectomy vs ablation with my consultant he said if he did a hysterectomy and left my ovaries in chances are my ovaries would pack up within five years.

I was in my early 30s then and had no wish for a menopause in mid to late 30s so went for ablation.

Original poster
Kimberly343 · 13/08/2017 15:52

I really don't understand the age side of things when it comes to more DCs though, I had my DCs quite early, so I have "finished" my family earlier. I appreciate people may say I have x amount of fertile years left, but I really am 100% certain I do not want any more children, even if I could guarantee a 'healthy' child.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 13/08/2017 15:56

Honestly, have your husband get a vasectomy. Take care of the birth control issue on his end.

Libitina · 13/08/2017 16:00

Having a hysterectomy does not necessarily involve removing the ovaries (oophorectomy). However, it is major surgery that comes with all the usual risks and would not be the most obvious option to go for.

There are alternative options such as tubal ligation or vasectomy for contraception or many other options for treating the heavy bleeding every month.
Go back to your GP and discuss all the options.

PollyPerky · 13/08/2017 16:00

Kimberly If something truly awful happened and your DH and DCs were killed in an accident, maybe in the future you would want another child with someone.
At 25 ( very young even to have a first baby these days, let alone 2 already) you have no idea what life may have in store for you.

You should at least be able to acknowledge that your circumstances may change outside of your control and you may wish for something different.

DH never had the snip because he wanted to have the option of another family if anything happened to me and the DCs. I fully agreed with that.

At 25 you are really very young. You ought not to make irreversible decisions and that is why Drs are reluctant to do it, partly because they get requests all the time for reversals of sterilisation (men and women.)

PollyPerky · 13/08/2017 16:02

Having a hysterectomy does not necessarily involve removing the ovaries (oophorectomy).

You are missing the point. of course her ovaries would be left but the removal of the womb tends to cause the ovaries to go into a premature shut-down.

FrogFairy · 13/08/2017 16:05

Another vote here for endometrial ablation. It would sort out your periods, no more pregnancies but leave your womb and ovaries intact to avoid early menopause.

It is also a simple procedure with minimal recovery which important with two young children to care for.

Coconutspongexo · 13/08/2017 16:07

The most expensive sterilisation for private in the U.K. Is around 3.5k