to have a hysterectomy aged 25?

[Kimberly343]

I have two DCs, I always imagined my life with two children. We live in a 3 bedroomed home with no wish to move and love that the DCs each have their own 'space'. Another DC is definatley off the cards, my second DC was born with a genetic disease that limits their life dramatically so any further children we would either need to pay privatley for PGD IVF or run the risk of another child affected/terminate a pregnancy after testing. All of these would be a great strain on us all.

I spoke to my GP about a hysterectomy as I don't get on well with hormonal contraception, had a coil fall out and have horrendous periods. The GP practically laughed it off and said I am far too young to be considered and I am likely to change my mind. I definatley will not, regardless of my circumstances I 100% don't want any more children, shall I see another GP or am I silly to do this?

The thing is you say you will never change your mind but with all due respect you have no idea what the next 20 years holds. You divorce and meet someone who has never had a child? God forbid you lose ur husband or a child? You simply wake up at 35 when your children are looking at uni and realise you have got room in your house and your heart for another child? I have just had a hysterectomy, recovered well but i have to take hormones for the next 8 yrs to prevent my bones from crumbling and be more vigilant of breast cancer.

Suffice to say I was 23 with 2 children and in a happy marriage. I am now 46 with children aged 23, 22, 5 yr old twins and a 3 yr old (and a second husband). Life changes, you change, don't do anything you might regret x

brittbugs , what type of sterilisation was that , I had mine about 16 yrs ago , had keyhole surgery and it was about a week to recover , although obviously you needed to be careful with heavy lifting .

I tried to go to the doctors about steralisation at around the same age op, was a complete no go from their end, we ended up going private for dh to get a vasectomy instead and that wasn't a problem.

I was sterilised age 29 and it's one of the best things I ever did. I had 2 DC and knew I didn't want more. Like you, I found the 'what if ... ' questions bizarre, although I was only asked once in a kind of 'just checking' way. I think it's awful how difficult it has become for women to get a sterilisation these days. I don't believe men get the same level of questioning when they ask for a vasectomy.

Hysterectomy is a whole other thing though, obviously.

YANU if it's for contraception reasons. It's a huge deal.
My mum had womb cancer and even then a full hysterectomy was only one of the options put forward and the consultants made sure she would receive counselling to mentally prepare her IF she wanted to go through with it. It was a shock to the system for a friend who had one for cervical cancer aswell.
The recovery is heavy going. I had to keep my children away from my mum in case they banged into her, she could not drive or work for 8 weeks.

YABU* sorry

If you have heavy, painful periods 2 weeks of every month, you do NOT have to live with that.

No way, no how. That sounds like endometriosis. Ultrasounds often fail to detect it, and laparoscopic surgery is needed to ascertain whether there are endometrial adhesions causing this for you.

I have had friends who said they got a whole new lease on life after having ablation done for their endometriosis. Your periods are highly abnormal. You need a referral to a specialist who can help you get the surgery you need, not an operation that will make you menopausal at 25.

Good luck getting sterilised. They don't even do vasectomys here let alone female
Sterilisation. No money!

I had a complete hysterectomy when I was 28, I had no choice in the matter as it was an emergency situation.

First it is HUGE surgery in terms of recovery, you won't be able to lift anything heavier than a kettle for the first 2 MONTHS. it will take 12 months for you to fully recover ... you certainly won't be well enough to run round after your children. Even though I had a very supportive husband, his Mum had to more or less move in with us for the first 3 months, you won't be able to cook clean, shop.

If your children cry you will not be able to pick them up ... this was THE hardest part for me, my son was still in a cot and I couldn't go to him.

I am now 54 and this year had my FOURTH prolapse surgery ... the uterus sort of holds everything in place and when you lose it so young, over the years every goes South.

Imagine this for one minute (sorry if this is TMI but you need to know) in January I had my vagina cut from top to bottom, front and back, through a tummy incision (5in long) mesh was attached to my top of my vagina and it was then pulled up and attached internally near my spine in an effort to shore things up. The recovery was incredibly painful, 5 nights in hospital and another 3 months of being able to do absolutely nothing .. and this was the FOURTH time in 3 years .. not all exactly the same but you get the idea.

I've had :

My bowel collapsed into my pelvis
Rectal prolapse
Vaginal prolapse
Urinary leaks and Incontinence
osteoporosis
early onset heart disease

ALL of the above are due to me losing everything at such a young age

You shouldn't even consider this for heavy periods and I'm sure no surgeon would carry out this op on a healthy young woman

I asked my gynae colleague and he said 80% of patients who were sterilized at less than 30 later regretted their decision. What with second families and such.
They live in fear of litigation and of course funding is very limited.

I've had a hysterectomy when I was 27 and my ovaries out at 28 (and I'm only 29!) and if you can avoid it then DONT do it!!! I had mine for serious medical reasons and didn't have a choice, recovery was hard and I'm still having problems just now facing further surgery etc, the sudden surgical menopause was hell. I'm different in that I'd of loved to have another baby (I have two children already) but I still wish there was another way I could of dealt with my medical problems.

Seems I know very little about the female reproductive organs

OP i take it back.
Explore your options easiest now is not always best longterm.

I genuinely find this scenario very bizarre. If my DH or DCs died, they can never be 'replaced' and I wouldn't suddenly want more children or a new family.

It isn't about 'replacing' the deceased relatives.

And you can't possibly know at this point how you would feel if the worst happened. It's something you - or any of us - can only guess at.

@Kimberly343

If you have a hysterectomy you will hit menopause which will mean you will have to ( for your bones if nothing else) take HRT. Research the side effects of HRT if you will 💕

OP I understand why you want a hysterectomy. Totally and completely.

I also see your GP's point of view.

In my opinion, you need to accept that it's not the 'done thing' in the medical world and prepare to break the barriers to get what you want, and need.

Keep at it. Fight the system, you have a right to your body and what happens to it. Keep going. Don't give up and someone eventually, even if it takes 1-2 year so will have your medical history and will no longer be able to ignore it.

You just have to fight them.

My mother and aunt are currently on HRT due to early menopause and both have no problems with it. I understand it isn't the same for everyone but from those I do know taking it I hear nothing negative.

Tippy thank you, yes I think that is the avenue I will have to go down and just keep trying, at the very least if my medical history shows frequest visits asking over a year or two they will see I am serious.

I can appreciate I am on the younger side to have a permanent procedure (with either sterilisation or hysterectomy) but I have had my children, had great difficulty with DC2 and an incredibly traumatic pregnancy and newborn experience due to the diagnosis and do not want to risk another child with the same condition or them being a carrier and the likelyhood is very strong. Even taking that out of the picture, I don't long for anymore children, don't want to make 'space' for anymore and my opinion won't change.

It is very hard as being this age many people can be a little patronising that this decision is too 'big' to make but it is my body and my choice. It seems weird that men seem to have little trouble having a vasectomy which results in the same outcome yet a woman getting even her tubes tied is so hard!

I've had the Mirena coil, I have tried almost every type of contraceptive, including both the combined, and progestrone only pill, the implant, injection, the copper and mirena coil. None of these control my periods and most just make me feel awfully hormonal using. I am now on the progestrone only and condoms as this is the 'better' of all the options I've tried.

Sorry, I had missed that part of your OP.

Endometrial ablation may be a tricky one to convince a gynaecologist to do, because pregnancies (accidental or otherwise) that have occurred after an ablation have had poor outcomes. You might be certain your family is complete, but many consultants would have been involved in or know of cases of having gone to court over sterilisation regret. It's more common than you think and medico-legally it's a very tricky area.

I'd go back to your GP and if they're not going to refer you to gynae, at least request a pelvic ultrasound to make sure there's nothing structural there like a fibroid that's making your bleeding heavier

Bearing in mind that tubal ligation can often make periods heavier, I always counsel my patients about it.

If you can't get it on the NHS maybe just "live as a man" for 2 years (from what I can tell this involves wearing trousers) and you can get whatever you want done. Regardless of the ethics.

I did have an ultrasound around a year ago which was reported back as 'normal' and since then has been largely fobbed off as being 'hormonal' or due to whatever contraceptive I am on at the time. I would be tempted to come off contraception all together but I am terrified of a condom failure.

I can appreciate there will be people who change their minds but surely you do recieve some counselling/consultation beforehand and sign paperwork to say you agree and therefore can't 'sue' them as it was your own decision?

You have consultation and sign the consent forms, but technically you can still sue. Whether a claim would be successful is another story, but you'd still have the right to make a claim.

Either way, sorry things are so crap for you. I'd still ask for a gynae referral so you can discuss matters with a gynaecologist.

Batfurger

Get yourself a referral to a gynaecologist for the periods, see if you can get an ablation and sterilisation - they won't want to do the ablation without, as it puts you at high risk for ectopic pregnancy if you should become pregnant again.

Ablations don't always work, and sometimes need to be repeated after a few years, but are a much lower risk procedure than hysterectomy, with a good success and recovery rate.

Fwiw, I think you're doing the responsible thing in looking at the family you have and what that family needs for the future. I hope you can get things sorted.

I would really like to see some reliable stats for sterilisation regret if anybody has them.