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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just realised people are at it in my garden WIBU to...

225 replies

AVY1 · 13/08/2017 00:29

... whisper out of the window, 'I can see you!' in the creepiest voice I can manage?

In serious, heard the side gate swing a couple of minutes ago so had a glance out of the window. Fairly certain it's the neighbour from a few doors down but it doesn't look like her husband.

DH (who isn't here) thinks I should ring the police non-emergency. I think it's harmless (unless it is an affair but I'm not 100% it is her - there's been an event on at the pub at the end of our road but she'd have had to walk past her house to get to mine) but I don't think they mean any harm to us.

What would you do?

OP posts:
ClemDanfango · 13/08/2017 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 13/08/2017 00:30

Ah you have to play with them man Grin

Sparklingbrook · 13/08/2017 00:30

Shut the curtains and go to bed.

Mumteadumpty · 13/08/2017 00:31

Put the light on

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 13/08/2017 00:32

Play the audio from some really bad porn to them. Make sure they can hear you laughing at them!

couchparsnip · 13/08/2017 00:32

Literally a CFN! I would throw things at them.

couchparsnip · 13/08/2017 00:33

Scratch that. Porn music is a much better idea.

Out2pasture · 13/08/2017 00:33

scour the spot in the am for the used condom and wrapper before the little ones go out....

OuchLegoHurts · 13/08/2017 00:34

Definitely throw at least a pint of water on top of them!

MyKingdomForBrie · 13/08/2017 00:34

I'd want to do something like turn lights on etc but I'd be a wimp and do nothing!

Definitely b and q for a padlock for the gate tomorrow..

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 13/08/2017 00:34

You sure they aren't perseid watching?

alfagirl73 · 13/08/2017 00:35

Find an audio of a really creepy horrible voice and play that! 😂

ThouShallNotPass · 13/08/2017 00:35

Definitely turn the hose on them! CFNs are rife right now huh?

Original poster
AVY1 · 13/08/2017 00:35

Oh god I hadn't thought about what they might leave behind! My cats are out and one is an ex stray that will eat anything!

They're on the patio leaning against a lean to shed thing. The bathroom window is right above it - I think the shower head might reach far enough!

Although I do like the poem music idea.

OP posts:
CremeFresh · 13/08/2017 00:35

There are actual people , in your garden shagging Confused. Open the window and give a running commentary, followed by holding up a score card a la strictly come dancing Grin

Original poster
AVY1 · 13/08/2017 00:36

Porn not poem.

OP posts:
steff13 · 13/08/2017 00:37

I'd turn the hose on them.

ExplodedCloud · 13/08/2017 00:38

Scream out of the window "Oh my god it's Margery from number 53 shagging in my garden! Hello Dennis! Oh! You aren't Dennis!"

HarrietSchulenberg · 13/08/2017 00:38

You definitely need to clap and cheer them on.

user7841794168 · 13/08/2017 00:38

Call your DH and shout loudly 'do you fancy a shag in the garden cos it's a lovely night' and they will soon run.

CremeFresh · 13/08/2017 00:39

Or commentary like a horse race ..... 'and he's coming into the home stretch now, he can see the finish line, just a couple of strokes away aaaaaaaand he's over the line !!!

Original poster
AVY1 · 13/08/2017 00:40

Part of me doesn't want to spoil their fun. Though I am concerned they managed to get in. Lights were already on. There is one of those disco ball things in DDs room. Maybe I could sneak down and put it on the kitchen window sill?

OP posts:
Original poster
AVY1 · 13/08/2017 00:40

Creme that's brilliant! I thought they'd be done quickly but it's been at least 20 minutes now Confused

OP posts:
StaplesCorner · 13/08/2017 00:42

20 minutes?!!! You MUST go out there.

user7841794168 · 13/08/2017 00:43

20 minutes? Go and ask them for their tips on making it last so long - or ask where he gets his viagra from.