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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just realised people are at it in my garden WIBU to...

225 replies

AVY1 · 13/08/2017 00:29

... whisper out of the window, 'I can see you!' in the creepiest voice I can manage?

In serious, heard the side gate swing a couple of minutes ago so had a glance out of the window. Fairly certain it's the neighbour from a few doors down but it doesn't look like her husband.

DH (who isn't here) thinks I should ring the police non-emergency. I think it's harmless (unless it is an affair but I'm not 100% it is her - there's been an event on at the pub at the end of our road but she'd have had to walk past her house to get to mine) but I don't think they mean any harm to us.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Bardo · 13/08/2017 12:40

wow. what possesses people to think they can stroll in to somebody else's garden for a shag, and then lounge about on their garden furniture afterwards Confused

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 13/08/2017 12:49

Hmm Completely pointless to phone police after it's all over. What do you expect them to do? They're not the neighbour's mum and she's not an errant teenager.

If anything the police going round there is likely to make everything kick off as the bloke she was shagging wasn't her husband!

This is literally unbelievable.

AssassinatedBeauty · 13/08/2017 12:57

Having sex where you can be seen by others is an offence, I think there are various things they could be charged with potentially. I think sending a PCSO round to point this out is a reasonable response.

Allthebestnamesareused · 13/08/2017 13:11

So there is a local facebook page:

I'd be tempted to post on there today saying "to the CFN who thinks it is ok to trespass into my garden at nighttime and have a shag I hope you are coming back today to pressure wash my lean too and my patio furniture that you decided was ok to lounge in afterwards.

If you'd like a copy of our CCTV footage so you rate yourselves please ask. We have given you a 4/10."

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 13/08/2017 13:37

You would post it on Facebook? How terribly gauche and attention seeking.

I bet you would not.

Kursk · 13/08/2017 13:42

If that happened in my garden I would have let the dogs out. I am sure 2 of my huskies would have tried to join in with them!

LazySusan11 · 13/08/2017 13:53

I'd have knocked on the husbands door and said something along the lines of your wife is shagging in my garden could you remove her.

SnickersWasAHorse · 13/08/2017 14:02

Where in Suffolk are you?

StatueInTheSky · 13/08/2017 14:06

yes...hose on and let the dog investigate. He'd either go crazybonkers barking or investigate any available crevices with a nice cold thrusting dog nose.
Or maybe a bit of both!

mumoseven · 13/08/2017 14:11

We used to live on a skanky street near a pub, with no front garden and one night, hearing a strange noise outside the living/front room, I flicked back the curtains to see a bare arsed woman perched on the window sill legs akimbo and a man giving her one. I rapped on the window and they scarpered garments a flapping.

PussCatTheGoldfish · 13/08/2017 14:14

I'm in Suffolk too. Whereabouts are you? perhaps it's someone I know...

Original poster
AVY1 · 13/08/2017 14:20

I didn't ring the police to ask them to come round. I rang for some advice (after speaking to a family member who is ex-met) as this morning it occurred to me that last night I was a bit blase (and didn't want to waste police time on a Saturday night) because it was the neighbour but actually it was a strange man in my garden and that isn't the first time we've had to deal with that, though the circumstances were very different.

The police are choosing to send a PCSO over to speak to the neighbour and I have no say in that. They certainly didn't make me feel like I was wasting their time although I had already apologised for that.

They also reassured me that they would be 'as discreet as possible' although I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything.

(I'm in Suffolk coastal near Woodbridge)

OP posts:
LakieLady · 13/08/2017 14:22

I'd have let the dog out. She's very barky and partial to sausages.

Notreallyarsed · 13/08/2017 14:28

I'd have let the dog out. She's very barky and partial to sausages

Grin you've made my day yes I know I'm easily amused

mumoseven · 13/08/2017 15:33

Suffolk coast here to!

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/08/2017 15:34

Goodness me. I thought the Woodbridge area was so naice. I was even thinking of moving there when I retire. Shock

mumoseven · 13/08/2017 15:34

*too.

SnickersWasAHorse · 13/08/2017 16:14

I live in a part of Suffolk that people on here would have you believe was like Escape From New York. We don't have fucking in our back gardens.

Original poster
AVY1 · 13/08/2017 16:57

I'm near Woodbridge but not in it. Woodbridge is gorgeous. We had to compromise on location to get a property that was big enough for our first purchase. We were only supposed to be here a couple of years. I've vowed no more fixer uppers! I'd like to move further towards the coast.

OP posts:
AwaywiththePixies27 · 13/08/2017 16:59

Scream out of the window "Oh my god it's Margery from number 53 shagging in my garden! Hello Dennis! Oh! You aren't Dennis!"

😂 explodedcloud

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 13/08/2017 22:19

😂 Gherkin

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 13/08/2017 22:42

I'm Suffolk Coastal too!

Nothing like that happens in our lane. ''Tis all very quiet and boring. I'd have definitely turned the outside light on and laughed though.

winobaglady · 13/08/2017 22:44

Here you are, in case you catch them at it again

Prideinmyplace2 · 14/08/2017 17:29

Shine a bright torch on them saying, "do you come her often!" Smile

Cocobing29 · 14/08/2017 17:33

I would of opened the window ans given a david Attenborough style comentry in a weird voice lol