...to want a baby at age 42?

[justcurious40]

I just had a miscarriage at 9 weeks along. I am 41 right now, but if we TT another, I will be 42 when he/she is born.

I am starting to doubt myself now. Is it crazy to try at my age? Apart from the odds of it going wrong, I would be 60 when my baby is 18. Is that too old??

I should add that, thankfully, I already have children. So perhaps I should quit while I'm ahead? On the other hand, my youngest was born when I was 38, so I will be 56 when she is 18. What difference does 4 years make??

I've had babies in my 20s, 30s, and at 42. And as a fit marathoner in my later years I am definitely in better shape for my last two than my sons I had in my 20s. It's very personal and where I am it is absolutely normal to have babies in your 40s. All the women I know (including myself) have demanding careers and it made sense to do it this way. I'm lucky because I now have a large family, for starting younger, but no one can say that you're not fit enough or young enough for a baby. Only you know your body and you've already got one so you know the demands. Good luck!! I've had a few miscarriages and I'm sorry you've been through that. But one doesn't mean it's more likely to happen again. Go for it!

Thank you for all of the replies. It has given me a lot of food for thought!

I think I am okay with how old I would be when the child is various ages. After all, it is only 4 years different to my youngest and I didn't give that a second thought.

Now it is just the question of whether I am brave enough to risk another loss.

Hi justcurious40
Just looking through threads that relaye to me. How are you getting on? I hope all is well.

I'm 43 now and still no joy of being a mum (up to 7 failed attempts now)😔

You are at higher risk of miscarriage, still birth or a child with disability.
It's not about 'feeling young.'

If this would be your first, I would say not too old. If it would be your 2nd, I salute your strenght.

strength

I have seen your update, you mention having a youngest, so that means you have more than one child. I will have to say what I said earlier: you must be very strong.

chiaseeddisapointmentagain, not sure what journey you've had (and sorry of it's not been good). There are however many women over 40 having healthy babies with zero problems and then you hear of women in their twenties who keep miscarrying. I believe it's just luck on the eggs we each have as individuals. Yes, eggs 100% deteriate as a women hits 35+ but many, many women that age have a baby with zero problems also.

My twins were born a week after my 42nd birthday. I don't think I'm too old! A word of warning though ; apparently you are far more likely to have twins at this age! My neighbour aged 41 had twins a few months ago too!

Yes Lou16 I had my one and only miscarriage aged 22.

squoosh
Women have always had babies well into their forties, it's only first time babies in the forties that's a more recent thing.

Yes to this ^

Women have always gone the full length of their fertile years. I had DC2 at 42 and she is an utter joy.

I don’t think you are too old but personally I couldn’t. I had mine really young and I am glad. My parents had me in their 40s. They passed in their 60s my dad 20, mum 10 years ago. I am early 40s now and I just couldn’t go through the feeding, night waking etc again!!!!

My mother was 37 when she had me. Unfortunately she was too old. My entire childhood was overshadowed by her illnesses. Regular trips to hospitals, surgeries, chemotherapies. Then there were her parents. They were also too old. If she wasn't in hospital they were. And then she died. I wasn't even twenty. My father on the other hand, while he was older than her, older than you even, wasn't too old. He has only just had his first health scare. His parents, while frail now, did not cause any particular anxieties when I was young and depended on him. He is young enough to help me with my children. He plays with them, he sometimes wakes up at night with them and most importantly he doesn't require me to divert my attention away from my children to care for him. Age is just a number, what matters is you state of health and the health of the people around you. Only you can know whether you are too old or not.

Hello ladies. I have a question.. Well a couple of questions. Im 23 with a 3 yr old and 2 yr old. However, So I had heavy dark bleeding along with pain to where I had to curl into a ball in my upper abdominals for two days. Then the bleeding completely stopped for about 24 hrs. And now its heavy, painful as H3ll, and bright red with what seems to be chunks that are dark red(brownish). Has anyone ever had this? Can it be severe? Should I go see my Doctor?

My normal periods were like that.For tonight take painkillers and a not too hot hot water bottle.Youll be OK but do see your GP.They may not do anything and this may be a one off for you but if happens regularly it can be treated.II do understand what your going through and found labour less painful.

Hi everyone!
I have been reading all your lovely, encouraging and also sad posts for a long time. So this is the first time I have written a post.
I am 41 and sadly have had 3 ( in my eyes) very bad mc. The first one being 5 yrs ago now, but left me very scared. It took me and my hubby a long time to get back on track afterwards. I can still remember every detail as if it was yesterday.
4 yrs on and 2 more mc later i am still not a mum and feel empty inside. I dont feel womanly as i haven't been able to do the most natural thing, that other women can.
A week doesn't go by that i am reminded that i haven't been able to have children after my mcs.
I have ready lots and lots of your posts,but i haven't come across anyone yet who is experiencing the pain of mc and still not being blessed with children.
So i just wanted to reach out there to see if im not alone in this constant heartache.
Xxx

@JoLouiseRat77 you might want to start a new thread and if you want kind replies do not post it in this section of talk. Instead post your new thread in one of the "Becoming a parent" sub-forums.

So sorry im new to this.

I'm sitting in the ER right now confirming my miscarriage at 9 weeks. I am 42. I think I want this baby more than my previous pregnancies. I have four boys. I'm trying to be positive and want to actually try to get pregnant for the first time. My other babies just happened. Hang in there. You are not crazy.

It's not crazy. It's a known fact for women around this age to feel broody again. Nature's last call before menopause. Loads of women, who have children (and often near adult children) get pregnant around this age again.

Currently 17 weeks pregnant with DC2 and 42 years old. I didn't plan to have a baby at 42 but it's taken a long time to get my head around giving birth again and to get pregnant.
I'm far more anxious about complications and mc this time but if I can get pregnant and carry a child at 42 then I'm not too old.
All the health care professionals I've seen haven't batted an eyelid at my age.

I was 42 when I had Small.

Hello, so just had a miscarriage at 9 weeks. I have a 3 and 6 yr old boys. I want a girl so bad.... I'm also 42. I just need to hear some encouraging words. I want to heal and start trying again ASAP. Can anyone share a story of loss and getting pregnant quickly and over 40.

It depends on your health, lifestyle and general outlook.

A good friend of mine just had a baby at 41. She is in good health, is fun loving and has loads of energy. Many of my friends are reproducing into their forties and no one is raising an eyebrow.

A woman I also know had a baby in her mid forties. She looks much older than her years and acts even older. She is not in great health, either is her husband. They are frequently mistaken for the grandparents and i do feel sorry for heir little girl who spends too much time visiting one or other parent in the hospital.

this was a long winded way of saying only you know of you are too old to be a mum - its not just about how many years you have on the clock.

Just for some perspective. After I lost mine at 44 my consultant asked if I'd be trying again. He said he hoped to see me again and I'd be in no way a modern miracle. I was 44.

I'm 46 now and still trying. I won't stop trying. I'll just let nature take its course.