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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take my child straight down to the police station

138 replies

candymad · 10/08/2017 08:42

My 14yo daughter came home from meeting a friend last night with a suspiciously heavy bag. I opened it and found a large number of unused nitrous oxide canisters.
Would I be unreasonable to take her to the police station to get rid of all the canisters and to explain to them where they've come from?

OP posts:
TestTubeTeen · 12/08/2017 08:03

"What is your 14 yr old dd doing out in the evening anyway? Shouldn't she be safe at home with you? Why not invite friends round? Why go out in evening to meet them?"

Apart from anything else, how would the friends be able to come round if they were being 'kept safe' at home with their families?

WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat · 12/08/2017 08:28

Sostenueto, I assume your post is a joke yes?

Keep your 14yos locked up safely in the evening! Don't let them out. EVER! But then how could they have friends round to visit them, because surely their parents would also be keeping them locked up safely at home? Ha ha ha.

OP, I think you dealt with it perfectly. Taking her to the police would have been a terrible idea (and I'm ex police).

In the grand scheme of things, having NIO is on the lower end of the scale in things teenagers do.

Enjoy your holiday.

RhubardGin · 12/08/2017 09:00

What did you do with the canisters OP?

Teddyinglasses · 12/08/2017 09:20

YANBU, Good for you. Too many parents think 'it'll be ok, we can deal with it, it's not my child' Well it's always someone's child and going to the police is the best thing you could do. Congratulations on taking control and being a positive parent.

ALittleBitofEverything111 · 12/08/2017 10:44

I've attached Frank's number

To take my child straight down to the police station
HipsterHunter · 12/08/2017 11:14

@Pollyanna9

"Not a baby drug" as in it's actually a really an extremely strong drug. Not sure why you take exception to that?

HipsterHunter · 12/08/2017 11:21

@Pollyanna9 you also seem to be really angry. I certainly don't think teenagers (or anyone) should be doing nos. The long term impacts aren't know. However only a hysterical fool believes that you have a high chance of dying from inhaling a few NOS balloons in a safe environment.

There have actually been several deaths from the dispenser exploding BTW... so I'd want to make sure it's a recent and good quality dispenser.

Hysterical "YOU MIGT DIE" attitudes to drug taking detract from actually having sensible harm reduction discussions about it.

All the drug education at school is on scare stories of taking one pill will kill you.

As soon as teenagers realise that just isn't true and they have been lied to by uniformened idiots, it gives way to the thought process that drugs are totally safe. Which isn't true either.

Evewasinnocent · 12/08/2017 12:08

YABVU!

TheBatteringLord · 12/08/2017 12:31

Hi Op,

First of all what a bloody palava!

That being said I can only reiterate what (the more sensible, and dare I say it worldly) posters have said.

Going to the police may well end result in your daughter a criminal record, (remember you won't have any say in whether they charge), and even a caution hangs around on your record for years. The cops aren't here to do your parenting for you!

As previously stated a criminal record can make it vastly harder to get a job and bar her from certain professions. And of course stop her from travelling to certain countries.

What you need to think about is how you would feel two, or four years down the line if you have a teen who is still feeling the affects of being criminalised at such a young age. Do you want her stuck at home, unemployed (and potentially unemployable), or out in the world enjoying herself and developing as a person, this incident no more than a slightly embarrassing memory.

Remember "nos" canisters have legitimate uses and even their misuse isn't "that dangerous". I remember when "baloons" used to be sold by shot girls at various bars and clubs.

I'd give her the bolocking of her life, dispose of the canisters, (in a public bin) and find out where she brought them- and once equipped with this information put in a cheeky call to trading standards so other young folk don't end up buying them.

Piewraith · 12/08/2017 13:01

I'm not saying don't punish her but for the PPs worried that she is supplying others - 100 is not that many. Each one lasts for max of 30 seconds. Between a group of three or four people, 100 is about ten minutes worth of entertainment. It's nothing like having 100 esctasy pills or whatever.

HipsterHunter · 12/08/2017 13:02

Remember "nos" canisters have legitimate uses

They do but I think it is something like one canister does 1000 whipped cream squirts or something like that ;-)

Sparklyglitter · 14/08/2017 18:42

What about ringing the police anonymously to ask their advice? Or there is a charity in Kent called Fegans I don't if they'd be able to help or another charity that deals with teenagers...It sounds like you need some professional advice. Good Luck! x

mumeeee · 14/08/2017 19:07

Why don't people read the whole thread?
The OP has sorted it now and had words with her DD. They have gone on holiday now

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