To take my child straight down to the police station

[candymad]

My 14yo daughter came home from meeting a friend last night with a suspiciously heavy bag. I opened it and found a large number of unused nitrous oxide canisters.
Would I be unreasonable to take her to the police station to get rid of all the canisters and to explain to them where they've come from?

Take her smartphone away and replace it with a phone only payg. Change your wifi password so she can't access social media via a laptop etc.
And I would inform the parents of the would be boyfriend. If he buys more, supplies your daughters peer group and there is a fatality...

I think you did the right thing. Have a conversation be open if you march her off to the police she will never trust you again. She will need you again, screw up again and when that happens she needs to know that although she might get in trouble you are the person she can trust to help/give good advice. If you go crazy everytime she screws up then you are leaving her with no support when she needs it.
She is going to push and experiment she is a teenager it's what they do, most people on this forum will have done as well and look we are alive and I'm sure most of us are fairly reasonable adults.
Seems like you did a great job.

...but its not illegal...

I would deliver the canisters to the boys parents and let them deal with him. Your DD can blame you

No it won't help. Sort it yourself, take control & be the parent. Talk to her about it & find out why she feels the need to do this stuff & listen to her. But take a hard line cos its no good for her & she needs to know that there are risks

i think mayve a chat with the community police / .school nurse might be enough to give her and her friends a fright .. kids have died from this and its actally illegal and highly dangerous if used fro fun mc donalds up here used to use it for the kids ballons but the older ones used to take then to inhale the gas www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2720285/Hippy-crack-epidemic-Costing-little-3-hit-s-inhaled-openly-Britain-s-streets-But-young-professionals-getting-high-laughing-gas-don-t-realise-s-deadly.html

I found a load of used nitrous oxide canisters at the end of our secluded country lane. I reported to the police who could not have been less interested and told me it was not an illegal drug.

OP, I think you have done the right thing. I think it's probably like smoking weed was in our day. My parents would never have reported us to the police for that, it would have been absurd.

Hipster
If you inhale from a balloon, whilst sitting or lying down is it virtually impossible to hurt yourself. NOS is one of the 'deepest' places you can go, similar to Ket
The usual stupid (sorry), minimising ramblings of someone who's clearly used plenty of drugs and wants the rest of the world to think like they do (misguidedly) that the risks are lower than the reality, and that you can control how you react or have any CLUE about what is in a lot of the stuff that you take. You can't know. You can't control something that you have no knowledge of its providence.

Not a baby drug.
WTAF does that mean?!

One good thing is that most teenagers think 'laughing gas' makes yo laugh and don't actually do it properly. Small mercies.
Yeah, so it's alright then, let's get 'em all on it.

The tolerance levels on here for NOS and other drugs absolutely and utterly STAGGERS me, particularly when these comments are made in relation to children's use of them. Mind boggling total lack of understanding of any of the wider implications.

If it's not an illegal drug then the police won't want to know.

I would just give her a good talking too and ground her for the rest of the holidays.

Fuck off with taking her to the police. Honestly, deal with it yourself. Take no notice of these 'police, now' people - would they shite take their children to the police for the same thing 🙄

I think there is some major living in the past going on in this thread - as a PP said, it isn't like in the 70s where the police would give them a good scare and send them on their way, she will probably get a criminal record and that IS a stupid thing to do, because you are trying to get her to STOP taking drugs - massively damaging an adult's career prospects based off enough balloon gas for a few hours worth of fun when they were 14 is probably going to have the exact opposite effect by pointlessly fucking up her life. Also, think how much she would hate you in 10 years time if she can never do the job she wants. Does she deserve that? No, and it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise.

People are thinking of canisters as massive things I reckon, Google them, they are the size of small light bulbs and they often come in boxes of around 100, she is hardly the next Walter White. Jesus.

And I wonder what we were all doing at the age of 14?
I know what I was up too. I'm guessing laughing gass is pretty new and a lot of kids are doing it? I saw another post on here a few weeks ago where a parent had found canasters in her dd's room.

I hope people are right that the police would send her on her way.

People saying it's not illegal are wrong.

Psychoactive Substance Act 2016.

Link to CPS website

10 balloons for 10 people (pp suggested nothing wrong in this) = supply.

I wouldn't take my child to the police station for this and I am very anti drugs. I have never dabbled but I know lots of drug users, ranging from weed smokers to a heroin addict, and I know that the law is the least of their worries.

I think I would take the canisters and dispose of them. I would be angry that they were brought into my home. Then I would talk to dd about the risks and about how to keep herself as safe as possible. I would tell dd about what would happen if the police catch her dealing. I would explain that she could be responsible for someone hurting or killing themselves. I wouldn't be giving her any more money.

Then...

I would tell her that if she ever finds herself in trouble that she could call me day or night and I would help her without judgement. I know people will roll their eyes at that, but kids do stupid shit. I want them to know that if they find themselves in a situation that they can't deal with then they can rely on me to support them. I won't lie for them, but I am there to help them pick up the pieces if need be, at least while they are children.

I would be so sad and disappointed. I hope you are ok OP.

Erm, where are they now by the way? Handing them back to bf is a technical supply.

It's difficult to say what you should do without knowing the background & your overall concerns.
Is this the first time you've known she's doing this? If so then a swift word from you may do the trick.
Do you hVe fears that this could be an ongoing issue leading her down the wrong path? Then a chat with a police officer just may do the trick & scare her enough to stop her going any further.

Personally I'd have no issue in reporting any of my kids to the police if they'd broken the law. If it goes on their record then so be it, they need to learn there are consequences to their actions. Luckily I've never been in that position & hopefully never will.

I hope you get it sorted, do what your instinct says & it'll be fine x

Sigh. Ok. OP seems to have dealt with this in a.sane and sensible manner. But... For the record, let's look at this a bit sensible my as opposed to "drag her to the police she will thank you for it later " brigade.

1)Pretty much the most dangerous drugs about in terms of consequences is Alcohol. I would far rather my children smoked a couple of joints or did a few whipits than got shitface drunk. (I would far rather they did none of the above, but I live in reality)

2)kids are going to be exposed to all sorts.of drugs if they have anything like a mixed social life. The best way to deal with it is to give them the information! There is no way we are ever going to be able to stop our kids being exposed to drugs. But we can give them the tools to make sensible decisions.

3. If you drink, or smoke, expect any halfway intelligent teen to throw it back in your face as you're a drug user too.

4. whipits aren't illegal, or even particularly dangerous. The police would really not give a shit.

5. the most damaging thing about most drug use is the consequences of getting caught. Having a bit of a weed habit as a youth is far less damaging than having a criminal record that travels with you for the rest of your life.

Ignore hysterical responses, and for god's sake talk to them. Find out why they're doing drugs. Then, sit down with them and make sure they know all the consequences of what they're doing.

Read David Nutts " Drugs without the hot air" for a sensible and reasoned argument about drugs.

The sooner we as a society realise that chronic drug use is an illness, not a crime and that casual drug use is really not worth worrying about, the quicker we will fix a.shitload of problems.

For reference, see Holland and Portugal.

Rant over.

Forgive typos in above.. typed on a phone!!

Rojaws** most sensible comment! Alcohol is hideous

ABSOLUTELY unreasonable!! Involving police unless you are in great danger is opening Pandora's Box. My DH spent half his youth working in a restaurant and one of the waitresses was forever inhaling nitrous and rendering the whip cream cans useless. Why would you think giving your child a foot into the judicial system and possibly a record a way to solve this problem? In the USA, this could have long term repercussions; student loans are not given kids with records. Often the kids who need help the most are HURT the most by the judicial system. Unless you are fully aware of the punishments, keep far away.

Also, perhaps most importantly, OP, your dd is acting as a mule. A drug mule. She needs to learn how to spot bfs who use her. More than drug info, she needs healthy relationship counseling. Best wishes.

Drug mule this website is amazing.

OP, sounds you've dealt with it totally sensibly.

A close work colleagues fiancé died from huffing. He was a young healthy man. I'd be reading the riot act, have the teen on a short leash. Life would be very dull for the foreseeable future.

What is your 14 yr old dd doing out in the evening anyway? Shouldn't she be safe at home with you? Why not invite friends round? Why go out in evening to meet them?