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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my child straight down to the police station

138 replies

candymad · 10/08/2017 08:42

My 14yo daughter came home from meeting a friend last night with a suspiciously heavy bag. I opened it and found a large number of unused nitrous oxide canisters.
Would I be unreasonable to take her to the police station to get rid of all the canisters and to explain to them where they've come from?

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 10/08/2017 09:06

I'd give one more chance. Harsh punishments at home and explain how it could affect her future college, job prospects, travel abroad etc if she is ever caught by the police. Then inform her that if you discover one more occasion, you WILL go to the Police. And mean it. And do it. At that point, she deserves it.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 10/08/2017 09:06

What does her dad say?

In one hand I think you should as she needs to know how serious it is to be dealing something like that but on the other hand it could do more damage than good.

Do you know the parents of the other children involved? Maybe you could speak to them

greathat · 10/08/2017 09:06

Where has she got them from, and where did she get the money to buy them? No idea how much they cost but 100 doesn't sound like pocket money

blueskyinmarch · 10/08/2017 09:08

I didn't think buying nitrous oxide was illegal. If it isn't illegal then i am not sure what the police can do.

I agree with posters suggesting you get in touch with a local drug agency that deals with young people. They will be better at talking through the dangers of inhaling nitrous oxide with her.

GlitterRollerSkate · 10/08/2017 09:08

Misspent youth here. But 100 whippets isn't really a huge amount to the police. Laughing gas is covered under the medical misuse act. So it is illegal to supply it to others but not to posses.

That's 100 balloons she can fill. Between a few friends that isn't very much at all. The high is short lived only minutes. My then boyfriend and I could do that in under an hour.

I'm not saying that it's fine as its really not. There are plenty of risk involved in her taking it. Especially if she is inhaling and then exhaling into a balloon over and over as she'll be starving her brain of oxygen. And most people I know that did/does laughing gas are into other drugs.

piefacedClique · 10/08/2017 09:09

Talk to your pcso before going to the police themselves.....

blueskyinmarch · 10/08/2017 09:10

They are cheap. a quick google tells me i can get 100 for £32 on eBay. Obviously not illegal. Police can do nothing.

GlitterRollerSkate · 10/08/2017 09:11

Pressed send by accident. I agree with others talk to a youth drug councillor.

LoyaltyAndLobster · 10/08/2017 09:13

NO don't take her to the police station, why would you? just get rid of the canisters.

Enb76 · 10/08/2017 09:15

Laughing gas is small beer - the deaths associated with it have not been due to the gas itself. We used to buy masses of it (used for cake decoration so easy to get hold of) and have a laugh - far more risky was our alcohol misuse and the behaviours that entailed.

I wouldn't go over the top, I wouldn't take her to the police, I would talk to her about the dangers that she's exposing herself to and the sort of lifestyle she really wants. Having some fun and risky behaviour is par for the course for many teens.

It could have been worse - I was doing LSD for fun at 14, and here I am, an upstanding member of the community with a degree, an academic job, a house I own outright etc... If my parents had gone ballistic at me it would have encouraged me to do worse and hide more.

Nanny0gg · 10/08/2017 09:16

just get rid of the canisters.

What good will that do?

Thebluedog · 10/08/2017 09:17

When I was 14 I got caught shoplifting and was taken to the police station. My parents left me there for 5 hours (I didn't know this at the time but they agreed with the police to leave me in a cell to stew) and I ended up getting a caution. It was the best thing that happened to me! Since that day I've been too scared to do anything illegal (im 44 now), and have a very healthy respect for the police. Heaven knows what I'd have been into without that short, sharp, shock my parents and police gave me.

Redpony1 · 10/08/2017 09:17

They are cheap. a quick google tells me i can get 100 for £32 on eBay. Obviously not illegal. Police can do nothing

Yes they can & so they should. There were a number of arrests and charges made near me recently for laughing gas offences.

My parents wouldn't have thought twice about shopping us to the police for something like that.

Akani · 10/08/2017 09:18

It's very difficult to safely get rid of 100 unused Nitrous Oxide canisters. They are pressurised and shouldn't be thrown in normal waste refusal.

I would contact the local police station without her being present and ask for advice - they may well be happy to have an amnesty on the canisters but put the fear of God into your daughter which may make her think twice; they also may investigate her for supplying.

Has she said where she got them from?

Akani · 10/08/2017 09:19

ETA: I would also check she doesn't owe money to anyone; you may find you are in are in debt to some dodgy scumbag.

blueskyinmarch · 10/08/2017 09:23

If she was caught selling it that would be an offence and if they found out who sold it to her, as she is only 14 that would be an offence. However just having them in your possession and for your own use would not be an offence. It is unlikely that OPs DD would tell the police she was selling them even if she was.

grannytomine · 10/08/2017 09:24

I wouldn't take her to the police. I'd find my local PCSO and ask him/her to come and have a chat as you know she has been using the gas. I would think carefully about giving them the information that she had 100 cannisters, a criminal record will have a massive impact on her life.

Trollspoopglitter · 10/08/2017 09:26

"It would be very difficult to establish was for human consumption as widely sold for catering use anyway."

If this was a sitcom, the next scene would be the hysterical parent accusing their child's friend of being a dealer only to discover their child (wise beyond their years) rolling eyes at her parent informing them of the secret and wildly successful cupcake pop-up shop. Oh and parent no lonnger needs to worry about the mortgage payment thanks to savvy child.

If only.

PenelopeFlintstone · 10/08/2017 09:29

No to the police.

missiondecision · 10/08/2017 09:38

Depends on her attitude towards you asking her wtf is going on?
Blasé = police advice might actually be necessary
Remorseful = second chance
what would you do if it was 2x bottles of vodka?

RhubardGin · 10/08/2017 09:41

What did your DD say when you found the canisters?

Birdsgottaf1y · 10/08/2017 09:41

The Police will instigate Child Protection procedures.

She will be seen as Vulnerable and quite frankly may look at what might be going wrong at home. On the other hand they will want to make sure that she isn't being exploited etc.

It would be much better to talk to her why she wants to be doing this and then get in touch with a young person's drug advisor, so she doesn't go onto another legal or illegal drug.

Taking a hardline stance without discussion isn't the way to handle teenagers, unless you want to lose them, one way or another.

Confutatis · 10/08/2017 09:46

Have you talked to the friend's parents?
Don't go to the police until you have as full a picture as you can get, and take further advice beforehand anyway as pp have suggested. Beware the law of unintended consequences.

JaneEyre70 · 10/08/2017 09:57

I'd frogmarch her right away. This has to be stopped, she's at huge risk of ending up in a shed load of trouble. I think the short sharp shock treatment works best, my eldest stole 2 bottles of drink from the college canteen and trust me, she never did it again after the Police talked to her and got SS involved. I could have killed her at the time, it was horrific having our life raked over by strangers but it did exactly what it was intended to, which was to scare the bejesus out of her.

Aardfart · 10/08/2017 10:00

Why does she have them? I agree with a pp that 100 cannisters really isn't that much and wouldn't last long in a group of people. If she's selling balloons then I guess that could have consequences, discuss them with her and the dangers then move on. I don't think a knee jerk "drugs are bad" reaction is helpful. Better to educate kids and help them make informed decisions.

I wouldn't involve the police - seems a bit heavy handed.

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