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AIBU?

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Original poster

How many breaks/fractures is "normal" for a 3 year old?

204 replies

MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:03

I am a little concerned about someone I know in that their 3 year old has seemingly injured himself very often.

In the past 6 months he has fractured his arm, "broke his sternum" and had a fall in which he hurt his other arm quite badly but which the Mother didn't get checked out...she said she was worried about social services considering his other recent injuries.

The arm fracture occurred, she said when he was with his Grandparent...I spoke to the grandparent and they confirmed this. The sternum break when he ran into the corner of a table and the arm injury when he fell off a child's slide in their garden.

Is this a lot or pretty normal for an active boy?

The only reason I do have concerns is that when I have spent some time with him, he's shouted at me in a very adult way..."acted out" being agressive if you will.

Lots of "NO! YOU DON'T DO THAT!" etc in a loud shouty voice with finger wagging..again this could be normal but my DC never did it so I don't know.

But he otherwise seems happy and healthy...another person close to his Mother said that he worried that his Mum was agressive to him in the way she spoke to him.

Writing it all down it seems like an obvious "Tell someone" situation but it's hard to tell when you're closeish to the family.

OP posts:
Purplemac · 09/08/2017 15:05

I don't think any breaks or fractures are normal at that age. They can of course happen, and innocently so, but it's not the norm.

Original poster
MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:05

Purple by that, do you mean any break is highly unusual?

OP posts:
DrablittleCrab · 09/08/2017 15:06

I have a 4 year old, and 4 nieces of 11, 10, 6 and 3. Not a single bone broken between them and not a single trip to a&e so to me that level of injury is not normal.

NewIdeasToday · 09/08/2017 15:06

I have very boisterous sons who've never had a break. To have so many seems exceptional.

Ecureuil · 09/08/2017 15:07

My DD1 had broken both legs in separate incidents by the time she was 2.2 which sounds horrendous! There is no 'normal' in terms of accidents I don't think, some toddlers are more accident prone than others. DD2 is very careful and has barely even grazed a knee (at 2.1).

Badbadbird · 09/08/2017 15:07

The answer is zero. And broke his STERNUM? that's the breastbone and it's incredibly strong. It doesn't get broekn unless there has been immense force applied.

selly24 · 09/08/2017 15:08

Please act on your concerns and call the NSPCC. They are excellent and talking things through with you. Anonymously if you request or at least initially
Children aged are active and often fearless. A few bumps, bruises, scraped knees = normal. Multiple serious injuries and the acting out of aggressive behaviour would concern me greatly.

DoItTooJulia · 09/08/2017 15:08

Broke his sternum??? Geez-they use heavy duty bone saws to get through that bone when you have heart surgery. That doesn't sound right to me.

Kids do break bones, so the arm could be a completely normal accident but I don't like the sound of the sternum at all. But presumably the hospital docs would have flagged any concerns?

Ecureuil · 09/08/2017 15:08

Gosh, reading the above makes me feel even worse.
The fracture clinic was full of toddlers/pre schoolers when DD1 fractured her leg!

Areyoufree · 09/08/2017 15:09

No, definitely not the norm. However, some kids are accident prone, and I had one friend who had very brittle bones, and has fractures very often.

The shouting sounds less worrying to me - my daughter used to do that. I'm not that 'shouty' with her, but I used to hear her upstairs in her room, telling her toys off. Sometimes she could be pretty aggressive!

YellowLawn · 09/08/2017 15:09

if a child that age had repeated fractures that would certainly need investigating.
either the dc

  • has an underlying medical condition that makes the bones break easier
  • is unusually clumsy
  • the environment the child is in is unsafe/inadequate and/or the child is not adequately superwised.
Ecureuil · 09/08/2017 15:09

I agree though that a broken sternum seems highly unusual.

SolomanDaisy · 09/08/2017 15:09

I'd say it's unusual to have that many but not totally outside the normal spectrum if the child is either clumsy or allowed a lot of physical freedom to learn. My hypermobile DS constantly had bumps on his forehead for about two years, he fell over so often.

LaCerbiatta · 09/08/2017 15:09

Children's bones are difficult to break, they're bendy like green twigs.

Original poster
MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:09

I was a bit Hmm about the sternum thing too...right..you've all got me convinced.

If I call the child protection people, what happens then? Will the Mother know it was me?

OP posts:
selly24 · 09/08/2017 15:09

and yes, the sternum?...! Please call and escalate your concern.

Toysaurus · 09/08/2017 15:10

Depends on the child. Mine goes through phases of big accidents. Including emergency surgery on bones for falling over when walking. My child has unreliable spatial awareness. Sometimes at that age we would be in A&E three times a week because he would trip over oxygen or misjudge spaces.

Batoutahell · 09/08/2017 15:10

Doesn't sound normal but then he might have a health condition leading to brittle bones? Or it could just be a total and utter fluke of bad luck.

RiverTam · 09/08/2017 15:10

None. Broken sternum?? I know the MN mantra is MYOB, but I think a word in the right ear is in order.

Badbadbird · 09/08/2017 15:11

No never. It will be 100% confidential.

Ecureuil · 09/08/2017 15:11

Children's bones are difficult to break, they're bendy like green twigs

A 'toddler fracture' is different to a normal break, it's a twist in the bone (as the bone is soft) rather than a break. That's what the Dr told me with DD1 anyway.

Original poster
MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:11

I would say that he is allowed quite a free reign...I've seen him wandering into a tool shed and picking up a saw...I took a tool away from him and his Mother said 'Oh leave him he's fine!" as though that was normal!

I don't want to cause trouble...when it could be that he's just allowed to wander alone a bit more than average.

OP posts:
catsbeensickagain · 09/08/2017 15:12

On the other side!

When my lad was three he fell in soft play and broke his arm. While in that cast and back at nursery he climbed onto something, slipped and fell causing an injury that needed stitches. I did feel awful in A&E with a bleeding child in plaster!!!
I suppose no breaks are "normal" but equally they do happen and the vast vast majority are just bad luck. For these two incidents and a couple of others we had 6 A&E visits in 18 months once! It was nothing more than bad luck (obviously!) and these things do happen. I think it's awful that people would jump to the conclusion that something was amiss when clearly children do get breaks (I did for example tripping over a tree root)!.
All that said I would be concerned that she did not get an injury checked out. The visit I was there with a bleeding child in plaster I did get asked where each injury had happened, and quite right too but it was not intrusive. So I guess avoiding A&E would be more of a flag to me than going.

AdalindSchade · 09/08/2017 15:12

The fact that she avoided seeking medical attention is in itself neglectful so please refer her to social services asap.

Mammylamb · 09/08/2017 15:12

He might have brittle bones or another condition which makes it more likely to break bones. But you don't know that. I'm not normally one to busy body but on this occasion I'd advise to call the nspcc who will look into it

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