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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many breaks/fractures is "normal" for a 3 year old?

204 replies

MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:03

I am a little concerned about someone I know in that their 3 year old has seemingly injured himself very often.

In the past 6 months he has fractured his arm, "broke his sternum" and had a fall in which he hurt his other arm quite badly but which the Mother didn't get checked out...she said she was worried about social services considering his other recent injuries.

The arm fracture occurred, she said when he was with his Grandparent...I spoke to the grandparent and they confirmed this. The sternum break when he ran into the corner of a table and the arm injury when he fell off a child's slide in their garden.

Is this a lot or pretty normal for an active boy?

The only reason I do have concerns is that when I have spent some time with him, he's shouted at me in a very adult way..."acted out" being agressive if you will.

Lots of "NO! YOU DON'T DO THAT!" etc in a loud shouty voice with finger wagging..again this could be normal but my DC never did it so I don't know.

But he otherwise seems happy and healthy...another person close to his Mother said that he worried that his Mum was agressive to him in the way she spoke to him.

Writing it all down it seems like an obvious "Tell someone" situation but it's hard to tell when you're closeish to the family.

OP posts:
candlefloozy · 09/08/2017 15:13

This should have been picked up at the hospital?? After each admission

MotherPie · 09/08/2017 15:13

My 4yo has never broken anything and he's a hyperactive child with no sense of danger. No, she won't know it was you that reported.

youaredeluded · 09/08/2017 15:13

My daughter broke her arm at 3. She slipped in the playground and fell. It was at a big shopping centre so we had witnesses and they filled in an accident form etc. We went to the hospital and they said that all children under 5, their injuries are passed on to the HVs. So I would hope this being the case the injuries would have already been looked into.

lalahotpants · 09/08/2017 15:14

My 8 year old son has had a broken arm, broken elbow and 2 broken toes in the last 3 years! Recently found out he has a calcium deficiency though so totaly innocent. Broken sternum would make me very worried, pick up the phone please!!

Purplepicnic · 09/08/2017 15:14

I would be worrying about a medical condition making his bones brittle more than abuse in your shoes.

ems137 · 09/08/2017 15:15

I know in my area the health visitor gets notification after a visit to A&E and often calls/visits to check things are ok.

They could be completely innocent. The boy next door to us is the same age as my DS and before the age of 5 he had broken his thigh bone and in a separate incident, broke his sternum. I can't recall how the leg break happened but the sternum was done by him falling down one small step in the playground at school. After that 2nd break his bone density was checked and all was normal.

If you have concerns report it to either children's services or NSPCC

Mummaofboys · 09/08/2017 15:15

I agree it can happen on occasion but is certainly not the norm and multiple breaks and fractures would be something doctors and social services would see as a red light! Never even met anybody who has broken their sternum by accident, more likely a serious car crash or being run over by a car.

MrsJayy · 09/08/2017 15:15

I think fractures are really rare at 3 ive worked with preschoolers for decades and i think ive seen a few of broken bones i think this parent is not caring for their child properly

Ecureuil · 09/08/2017 15:16

This should have been picked up at the hospital?? After each admission

When DD1 broke her legs we had a follow up call from the HV each time. Both times they were satisfied that it was a genuine accident so that may be the case here.

Badbadbird · 09/08/2017 15:16

MrsOverTheRoad the worst that will happen if you're wrong and you make the call is that professionals will look into the situation, see there is no harm & that will be the end of it. Parents might get a wake up call and take safety of child more seriously re: going into shed and taking out tools.

If you are right and there is harm being done you might be saving that child many more years of hurt and neglect.

ASatisfyingThump · 09/08/2017 15:17

It depends on the child - I've known some that get badly hurt very easily, while others can brush off quite serious falls. If others have confirmed the injuries are accidental and the child seems generally happy and cared for then I wouldn't worry.*

*I may be biased - my own kids are unbelievably solid and shrug off pretty much any injury, but they also scare the shit out of me on a daily basis. If they were less robust I'm sure we'd be down A&E a lot more than the once each we've had.

crispandcheesesandwichplease · 09/08/2017 15:17

Ex child protection worker here. That is worrying. It is of course possible that this child is particularly accident prone but that many bone injuries is unusual, unless he has an undiagnosed bone disorder. Mum not seeking medical attention, for whatever reason, is not acceptable and neglectful.

Speak to someone about it OP. It is far better to piss off an adult than to turn a blind eye to possible child abuse.

strawberrypenguin · 09/08/2017 15:17

I'd say really rare to have had that many broken bones that young.
I'd be concerned tbh. Either there's abuse happening or I'd want the little boy checked for a medical condition.

alltouchedout · 09/08/2017 15:17

That's not normal and it should be investigated. That she has already failed to get him medical attention for an injury is itself a serious issue. Please do contact social services, asap. They will not tell the parent that you raised the concern.

notapizzaeater · 09/08/2017 15:18

The not wanting to take her child to get seen is more of a flag - what others injuries has he had she hasn't seemed out medical help ?

VinIsGroot · 09/08/2017 15:20

Aged 5 my DS fell in soft play and broke his elbow. 3 months later he fell in the playground at school and broke the same elbow again. Needed pins and wires.
He's hypermobile, autistic and very clumsy !

gingergenius · 09/08/2017 15:20

An old friend's daughter broke her sternum at around age 4 - trampoline accident. It does happen but it's not common. As PPs have said, it's usual for a query to be raised at/after hospital appointment I think? Could be nothing, but understand your concern OP. Go with your instincts on this one. X

thegreylady · 09/08/2017 15:21

I have nine grandchildren none of whom has ever had an actual broken bone though some have had quite serious sports related bumps and bruises.

coriliavijvaad · 09/08/2017 15:21

Social services would be a lot more concerned by a parent choosing not to seek appropriate medical attention for an injury, than a spate of entirely explicable injuries that happened by accident despite normal parental care and vigilance.

I had a friend who had a social services visit due to a large number of injuries noticed at nursery. During their 45 minute home visit the child was almost literally bouncing off the walls and fell off various bits of furniture several times. The social worker was happy to sign off that this was a very active, happy, somewhat clumsy and accident-prone child, not at risk.

Hiding injuries, pretending they didn't happen to avoid attention - THAT is suspicious.

In answer to your question op it depends on the child. For some children normal would be zero. Others can be more accident prone. Some injuries are just from accidents and some are from inappropriate adult decisions.

I would always err on the side of "tell someone" - professionals are there to help and support, you telling someone ensures the child is protected if they need it, and does no harm if no harm is being done.

clairethewitch70 · 09/08/2017 15:23

My DH has OI. As a child it was thought he was abused until they looked into his eyes. The sclera (white part) of his eyes is clearly very blue. It is a sign of the condition. He had many, many fractures and is now held together with metal. The 3 year old really needs to be checked out.

gingergenius · 09/08/2017 15:24

Just a question but when you say sternum, is it possible she meant collarbone? Or was broken sternum the diagnosis of hospital?

Emmeline123 · 09/08/2017 15:24

This could be normal - my little sister broke her foot and nose and suffered chemical burns in separate incidents as a small child, but not getting medical attention in case of alerting social services does not sound good, first because it's neglectful and secondly because it suggests that there is something to hide.

BabychamSocialist · 09/08/2017 15:26

DS2 was born with a broken collar bone but that's it. My boys do sports now and have their share of breaks between them, but they never had a broken bone before they were 12.

I would be a bit worried about your friend though, it rings too many alarm bells. Two breaks in 6 months doesn't seem normal to me. I mean, it could be nothing, but I'd trust your gut.

ShatnersWig · 09/08/2017 15:26

I have broken a bone once in my life. In 2007. When I was 33, having slipped on some ice and went down with one helluva crash, banging my head and breaking my wrist.

When I was younger, I fell off my bike a couple of times, lots of cuts and grazes. Was always bruising myself. Twice ran into someone and smacked heads accidentally giving myself huge bumps on the forehead. Never broke a bone as a child though.

Steeley113 · 09/08/2017 15:27

If a&e were concerned about the sternum they would have reported it themselves. Sounds like a clumsy, hard work child to me. I have one and I'm forever shouting 'no! Don't do that!' While running across the room before the bang happens 🙈