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Original poster

How many breaks/fractures is "normal" for a 3 year old?

204 replies

MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:03

I am a little concerned about someone I know in that their 3 year old has seemingly injured himself very often.

In the past 6 months he has fractured his arm, "broke his sternum" and had a fall in which he hurt his other arm quite badly but which the Mother didn't get checked out...she said she was worried about social services considering his other recent injuries.

The arm fracture occurred, she said when he was with his Grandparent...I spoke to the grandparent and they confirmed this. The sternum break when he ran into the corner of a table and the arm injury when he fell off a child's slide in their garden.

Is this a lot or pretty normal for an active boy?

The only reason I do have concerns is that when I have spent some time with him, he's shouted at me in a very adult way..."acted out" being agressive if you will.

Lots of "NO! YOU DON'T DO THAT!" etc in a loud shouty voice with finger wagging..again this could be normal but my DC never did it so I don't know.

But he otherwise seems happy and healthy...another person close to his Mother said that he worried that his Mum was agressive to him in the way she spoke to him.

Writing it all down it seems like an obvious "Tell someone" situation but it's hard to tell when you're closeish to the family.

OP posts:
TheWeeWitch · 09/08/2017 15:53

And, I know the SS fear the mum might be feeling. I've had a friend investigated because she let her baby fall from the bed - took him to A and E and they sent SS around the next week. Not saying they shouldn't have reported if they had suspicions, but this woman was beside herself at the whole saga.

Itmustbemyage · 09/08/2017 15:54

One of my children with ADHD had many trips to A and E, a combination of risk taking behaviour and doing lots of different activities. Including broken limbs, concussion, tooth knocked out and a cut head. Never a broken sternum though..
None of these happened before they was three.
On each visit to A and E or the GP's I was always fearfull that they would think we had something to do with the injuries, even if they sometimes happened with grandparents or in activity groups.
We were always questioned about how the injury had happened, by each nurse and doctor, and they were obviously checking things matched up. So I think if the hospital had any concerns they would raise it.
I wouldn't have minded if someone thought the injuries were excessive and reported their concerns. I would have been grateful that they were looking out for my child.

Akani · 09/08/2017 15:56

"What I'm saying is that breaks and fractures in young children are treated thoroughly and with a degree of suspicion and if there was any doubt that this boy's injuries were not accidental then action would have been taken straight away in the hospital and the HV Tram, Social Services and the Police will have been informed."

This is how it should work, however, there are many reasons why it may not happen like this. Signed off from social work does not always leave a report on the system so if three separate social workers have followed up with this little boy it's possible that they are unaware that the injury they are following up on is part of category of injuries. This is particularly true if the child has been taken to multiple hospitals, or has been registered with multiple GPs lately.

blankface · 09/08/2017 15:59

I don't want to cause trouble
She has said she's not having his injured arm treated because it looks bad on her, that alone would make me report it.
Add the broken sternum - I've never heard of a child doing that - and I'd be reporting it like the proverbial shot.

malibuthru · 09/08/2017 16:00

My DD fractured her wrist at 2yr and the other at 4yr. She chipped her front tooth and had to have it removed at 2 and then the other at 4. She has continued through life being very clumsy/accident prone (sprained ankles, another fractured wrist, etc) These accidents mainly happened at nursery/school.

My other DD has not fractured anything. Really depends on the child, their bones, whether they're accident prone, etc.

WinnerWinnerChickenDinner0 · 09/08/2017 16:03

As others have said, the mother avoiding medical care aloe is abusive. The poor child could be in alit of pain and could face problems in the future.

I would call

MsLexicon · 09/08/2017 16:04

The sternum is a very thick bone, but at that age it is mainly cartilage. BUT that is far to many fractures. Poor little kid, yes I would do something.

Crunchymum · 09/08/2017 16:06

Over the years i've had to take both my DC to A&E for injuries that I have thought 'fuck me, SS will be all over this'

When we were in with youngest last year, one of the Dr's told me that not seeking immediate treatment was a massive red flag to them.

If you have concerns the report. It won't do any harm if all is innocent.

namechangejustforonethread · 09/08/2017 16:06

By the age of 3 I'd had 3 sets of broken bones I think.

I was adventurous and had an older brother.

I continued to regularly break bones until I was at university.

There was nothing untoward, I was just clumsy and bounced less than other kids but I think (although can't confirm as DM is no longer alive) that SS did make enquiries because of it

doingitallagaintoday · 09/08/2017 16:07

I don't know if broken bones is normal, but my first reaction was 😲

Ds is 5 and has some pretty bad accidents, think riding a bicycle, hitting the front brake and using his face on the ground to stop! (He was wearing a helmet) but that was a trip to hospital, even still he hasn't broken a single bone

Crunchymum · 09/08/2017 16:08

Doesn't matter if child has been to one A&E or 3 different A&E's, everything will be on record.

Loopytiles · 09/08/2017 16:09

I would report this. Not OK that she hasn't had him treated because of fear of SS.

yorkshireyummymummy · 09/08/2017 16:10

After reading through the messages it seems that some children break no bones and some children do break bones. So just because the child has had a few accidents recently us not enough to cause alarm. However- a sternum us an unusual and difficult break. Also, you feel uncomfortable about the boys aggressive , adult like behaviour. So my advice is - listen to your gut. If your senses are telling you that something is wrong then act on it. You may live to regret it if you don't.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 09/08/2017 16:12

Small children have quite flexible bones, so it is harder for a child to break a bone than it is an adult, but some kids are just really unlucky. What is worrying is that she is refusing to get her child medical attention, which is neglect and enough for SS to get involved even if the injuries are completely innocent.

I broke my wrist and it has healed wrong because I didn't get it checked in time, 14 years later it still hurts if i get cold or use it too much. This wasn't even a bad break, I didn't get it checked coz I thought it was just sprained and it didn't hurt that much so I whacked a tubigrip on it and put up with it for over 2 months before going to the GP. That's my own stupidity but a 3 year old can't take themselves of to the doctors so please report it, even if it turns out there is nothing going on and the kid is just unlucky it will mean his arm gets checked.

Coconutspongexo · 09/08/2017 16:20

The fact she didn't take him anywhere over hurting his arm due to fear of SS is a massive red flag to me personally.

Please contact NSPCC/SS

DeannaTroika · 09/08/2017 16:22

I have 4 children and 12 nieces and nephews. None of them had broken anything by the age of 3, and most of them have never broken anything at all.

Coconutspongexo · 09/08/2017 16:22

The sternal fracture also sounds dodgy but It appears to have not caused a concern with Drs, it's just that you need a very strong force to fracture the sternum.

Akani · 09/08/2017 16:24

Crunchymum

No. A and E records are held separately per hospital; there are and have been cases where child abuse (and domestic abuse of adults) have been missed due to this.

GreeboIsACutePussPuss · 09/08/2017 16:28

In fairness with the sternum fracture DS fractured his age about 4, he walked behind a swing that someone else was on, having been told about 50 000 times not to keep walking behind it. I was quizzed by every member of staff we saw, so the doctors must have been pretty convinced by her explanation not to have reported it.

becotide · 09/08/2017 16:35

My boisterous and sometimes cotton eared boys have had one fracture between them in 14 years. Something isn't right, and avoiding medical care in case of "social Services" is a massive red flag

Writerwannabe83 · 09/08/2017 16:46

No. A and E records are held separately per hospital; there are and have been cases where child abuse (and domestic abuse of adults) have been missed due to this.

Absolutely. The Govermrnt/NHS are currently working on a system that enables all children's A&E departments across the country to link up to each other to check how many occasions the child has presented at any A&E or OOH services but at the present time a hospital cannot access any child's records apart from those held in that specific hospital.

Notinmybackyard · 09/08/2017 16:48

I have 3 sons. Son 1, broken finger playing cricket. Son 2, broken leg jumping from climbing frame. Son 3, broken ankle, twice, playing football. The hospital keeps records of course of broken bones and accidents. I'd report if you feel uneasy, better to be safe than sorry.

SandyDenny · 09/08/2017 16:49

My dcs never had any broken bones at age 3 but I do know someone who is always posting on facebook about being in A & E with one of her dc. Not always the same one but it does make me wonder what the supervision is like in her house, I don't know her well enough to have been round but she has more than her fair share of injuries

secretnutter · 09/08/2017 16:57

Not normal I would say, 4 boys under 5 between my sis in law & I and no broken bones at all!

WellThisIsShit · 09/08/2017 17:24

I think it's per trust not per hospital round here?

Anyway, NSPCC can do a referral for you to ss, which is probably easier as you can talk it through with them thoroughly first.

There not enough in what you've written to conclude either way, and that's ok, you don't have to have conclusive proof of anything to refer it onto the proper authorities - it's their job to investigate after all.

Good luck