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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How many breaks/fractures is "normal" for a 3 year old?

204 replies

MrsOverTheRoad · 09/08/2017 15:03

I am a little concerned about someone I know in that their 3 year old has seemingly injured himself very often.

In the past 6 months he has fractured his arm, "broke his sternum" and had a fall in which he hurt his other arm quite badly but which the Mother didn't get checked out...she said she was worried about social services considering his other recent injuries.

The arm fracture occurred, she said when he was with his Grandparent...I spoke to the grandparent and they confirmed this. The sternum break when he ran into the corner of a table and the arm injury when he fell off a child's slide in their garden.

Is this a lot or pretty normal for an active boy?

The only reason I do have concerns is that when I have spent some time with him, he's shouted at me in a very adult way..."acted out" being agressive if you will.

Lots of "NO! YOU DON'T DO THAT!" etc in a loud shouty voice with finger wagging..again this could be normal but my DC never did it so I don't know.

But he otherwise seems happy and healthy...another person close to his Mother said that he worried that his Mum was agressive to him in the way she spoke to him.

Writing it all down it seems like an obvious "Tell someone" situation but it's hard to tell when you're closeish to the family.

OP posts:
Changingagain · 09/08/2017 15:27

I broke my ankle at 2 so I didn't realise it was unusual to break bones that young. However, I would say it is very unusual for a parent to be more concerned with avoiding awkward questions than getting medical help for their toddler. If my son had two breaks and I then suspected another, I'd be getting him straight to A&E and wanting him checked for any underlying issue. Sure I'd be worried about being accused but I'd be more worried about my son.

VestalVirgin · 09/08/2017 15:29

Doesn't seem normal. Could be bad luck or a bone disorder, though.

That the mother doesn't want the injury checked out because she's worried about social services is most worrying.

WeAllHaveWings · 09/08/2017 15:29

if the fractured arm/sternum was treated at hospital then there is nothing to report, everyone who needs to know will know. If you truly believe the hurt arm needed medical treatment and the mother withheld it because she was worried about SS, then yes report.

Her statement might have just been a very dry joke, dsil had dn at the hospital for many dislocations (turned out she had shallow sockets) and a couple of times where she needed stitches. SS visited just to check all was ok and she used to joke about it whenever anything else happened.

JumpingJellybeanz · 09/08/2017 15:29

Social services won't necessarily get involved over the number of injuries. (My 4 year old is a fearless daredevil well known to A&E with no social services involvement.) They absolutely WILL get involved if a child is being denied medical care because the parent is worried about themself and is putting their fear of consequences ahead of their child's needs.

Writerwannabe83 · 09/08/2017 15:29

A professional opinion...

When a young child comes into our area of work with a break the Condultants first question to themselves is "Could this be non-accidental?" and they are very thorough at determining this. X-rays show very well the exact type of break the child has and whether it is consistent with the tale of how the injury occurred. If there is any doubt the images are referred on to the Orthopaedic Team and also to Radiographers who work in the local Children's Hospitals in order to seek their opinions too.

What I'm saying is that breaks and fractures in young children are treated thoroughly and with a degree of suspicion and if there was any doubt that this boy's injuries were not accidental then action would have been taken straight away in the hospital and the HV Tram, Social Services and the Police will have been informed.

I have never heard of a sternum being broken. You used that phrase in quotation marks though OP so did you do that because it's just something you've been told has happened as opposed to actually knowing?

Kids do have accidents and do get breaks and fractures, it isn't overly uncommon. If nothing untoward has happened as a result of his fractures and broken sternum (?) then I'd imagine all the professionals involved in his care do not suspect abuse.

However, I always says trust your instincts and if you have any concerns in your mind about the safety of a child you should always speak to someone. Good luck OP, I hope you feel you can ask someone for advice and I hope you can get some reassurance.

Mama234 · 09/08/2017 15:30

I agree with pp about it could be a medical condition like brittle bones, Especially considering you said it has happened in other peoples care.

RedSkyAtNight · 09/08/2017 15:30

If they've gone to hospital the staff there are very clued up in checking that the injury was accidental rather than anything more serious (my 2 DC had fractures within 6 weeks of each other, both when we were with other people, both complete accidents - just unlucky).

ZivaDiva · 09/08/2017 15:30

Are you sure he did fracture his sternum? People do say they fractured bones when what they mean is they had a bad bruise. Not sure if it's because they think a fracture is different from a break or what.
Also when you said he hurt his arm quite badly, what do you mean? I'm constantly surprised at what people think needs checking out.

drinkingtea · 09/08/2017 15:32

Normal is non existent.

Two of my older kids have never had a break, not even a sprain, nor stitches, nor any kind of accident needing any medical attention whatsoever. The middle one has had all sorts of accidents and been kept overnight in hospital, broken a bone, had a serious sprain needing hospital treatment X ray and follow up, had a freak bouncy castle accident which landed him in hospital having ultrasound screening... He's active but most kids are, and he's not the one who had to be grabbed from adult head hight as he swarmed up the lighting rig at a concert when he was 2... That one's never had more than the odd graze...

I'd think the person who told you he'd broken his sternum was probably exaggerating or a bit thick and had misunderstood... But if he really has that will surely have been reported to social services by the hospital.

I'd also assume "don't do that" and finger wagging is a mark of a danger magnet kid who is often told not to do dangerous stuff, not a specific cause for concern. However it can be hard to convey tone etc so maybe you "had to be there".

If you are concerned then call his health visitor if you can find out who that is, or his nursery or preschool, or social services by all means.

JaniceBattersby · 09/08/2017 15:33

I have four children. Three of them have never been to A&E. My four year old has broken his leg, broken his finger, swallowed a coin, put a screw up his nose and had stitches in his face. He's just a real dreamer, doesn't think about what he's doing and is quite accident-prone. After every incident the HV has phoned or visited so there will be some involvement with the family you're talking about. It doesn't seem all that alarming to me.

user53592952153 · 09/08/2017 15:33

My DCs have done abseiling, rock climbing, horse riding, trial biking, caving, sailing, orienteering, long zip wires and so on and neither of them have ever broken a bone at any age let alone age 3. My niece broke her leg when she was 18 months when she tripped over a door step, it was one of those things.

3 seems excessive, enough for medics to check for a bone disease/condition I'd have thought.

mimiholls · 09/08/2017 15:34

I cracked my sternum falling down the stairs as a teenager. I always thought it was similar to cracking a rib which is fairly common? There's nothing that can be done, it can only heal by itself. I agree that if he has received hospital treatment for these injuries they will have been well checked out, so I don't know who else you would be able to inform.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/08/2017 15:38

here's the thing, the fact that she is avoiding A&E because of SS is massive red flag to me, and is neglect

what's she scared of? as my SIL had this and they came, they checked and they left. Despite what people say, SS don't just randomly take children for spurious reasons

refer anonymously

ragdoll700 · 09/08/2017 15:40

My 5 year old has never broken anything my 3 year old broke her collar bone jumping off the bed, DP was with her he said he thought he had her caught 3 or 4 times but she fell anyway, the above I don't think is normal.
Any broken bones at that age are unusual.

GandolfBold · 09/08/2017 15:42

None of my DC's have ever broken a bone (touch wood)

However all three have needed stitches at different times(8 year old DD on 3 occasions).

The lack of emergency medical attention would make me suspicious.

Witsender · 09/08/2017 15:42

The avoiding attention is the only thing really flagging to me, but the sternum thing is a little extreme.

My sister and I never broke any bones bar my nose as a teenager, but my 5 year old broke her wrist last year falling over, apparently it is very common as their bones are so fragile.

Girty999 · 09/08/2017 15:42

Sternum is very odd, I would also have alarm bells at the fact that the mother didn't get the second arm checked. Tell someone then if everything is just bad luck that's fine but if there is something you have helped the little boy x

BifsWif · 09/08/2017 15:43

My 8 year old has never broken a bone. My 2 year old had a green stick fracture in her leg after a nasty fall. It was a break just part way across the bone. The doctor said it was incredibly difficult to have full breaks at her age as the bones are still quite bendy.

I would report.

RideOn · 09/08/2017 15:43

Majority of 3 year olds dont have any history of fracture.

Children can be seriously injured due to accidents at home, so even if it was accidental I would hope that if he had 2 fractures and one bad injury ?does he need more supervision ?is the play equipment appropriate

JemmyBloocher · 09/08/2017 15:46

I have five kids and one (now 17) has a file as thick as your arm at the local children's hospital, he was that accident prone.m and also loved throwing himself kamikaze like off walls and trees, from a very young age. The other four - nothing. It's so hard to tell. Listen to your instincts though and if you have even a mild concern call someone. Please.

QuimReaper · 09/08/2017 15:47

I know a family of six children, and number 6 had an absurd amount of injuries! At least 3 broken bones I believe. Nothing wrong with him or the way he was being parented, the first 5 were fine, it was just a run of bad luck.

awrightmylover · 09/08/2017 15:49

Hmm. A little boy I once babysat had a full leg cast at 2. According to his mother, it was an accident on a crowded trampoline with an aunt.

I can sympathize, it's so hard to tell what family dynamics are like from the outside. My rule of thumb would be, "does it seem plausible due to poor supervision, rather than outright abuse?"

TheWeeWitch · 09/08/2017 15:50

I broke my arm at 18m and again at 8yo, broke my leg at 9yo, broke two toes somewhere in there too and a finger at 13.

These all happened doing things kids do - climbed out of my cot and fell breaking my arm badly just above my elbow, the others all happened playing handstands, fell down some stairs, slipped over in a muddy puddle, fell off a pony... some people are accident prone and break easily!

iwishiwasrichandthin · 09/08/2017 15:50

The fact that she hadn't taken him for treatment when needed in case of social services would be an alarm bell for me.
I have 2dc (no breaks) but one did drink an air freshener Confusednothing on this earth would have stopped me from getting advice and treatment for her immediately regardless of the outcome for me.
I would report.

Akani · 09/08/2017 15:52

Has he been taken to the same Accident and Emergency Department? If so, I would contact them to raise concerns and ask if there has been a follow up or if you should follow it up. I'd still raise it separately but I would want to know if A and E had already started the ball moving so I could say I am referring to X and I believe that this has been followed up via the A and E department, however, I just wanted to make sure it's "not lost in a system".

If he's being taken to different A and E departments I would be seriously concerned and raise immediately. It's easier if you raise it with your name attached to the complaint, but not necessary. You can give your name and ask it is withheld from the family as well, but of course it may come out at some point in the future.

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