Festival and DH

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

DH and I are at a festival abroad, it's for DHs niche music interest which I don't mind but am not really a fan of. I was happy to come as I know he loves it and it's a dream festival for him.

We're on day 3 so far, 2 more days left and I am knackered. I am not in the best shape and it's a long walk to and from the festival to the little studio flat we're stopping in, plus standing around for hours watching bands etc. We've walked at least ten miles on each of the two days so far. My feet and legs are killing me.

So today DH wanted us to go and watch a couple of bands in the afternoon, come back here for some dinner and then go back for the evening. I opted to stay in the flat for the afternoon after explaining how I felt, will make dinner for when he gets back and then go to the evening shows.

DH has kicked off about this, said it's shit to go on his own, that he isn't having it for the rest of the week etc. That I shouldn't have agreed to come if I can't handle it. I feel really guilty now but we're only halfway through, and I thought it wouldn't matter for a few hours.

If it was the other way around I know for a fact I wouldn't have minded and I would have suggested this arrangement to him myself.

AIBU to have wanted to stay off this afternoon for a rest and sent DH on his own?

From what you've said, I think your idea was perfect. A few hours off, a rest and then you would go back with him in the evening. Why is he being such a needy git?

YANBU. It's a holiday for you too right?

I'd be waving him on his merry way to watch his shit music on his own for the rest of the trip.

Fuck that. Id grab some cash for suitable food, alcohol and drugs and be off on my own. Dont need anyone dragging me down

No YANBU, its not fair of him to force you to go if you're tired and won't enjoy it. He's an adult so he should be able to go on his own for a few hours, that sort of thing would tire me out too. Stick to your guns and tell him you will join him this evening.

Can you get taxis and a folding chair?

Bloody hell OP.. is he always this needy? tell him to man up or "woman up" as we seem to have the biggest balls

He won't have a folding chair, says they're embarassing no one else has really got them though and there aren't really taxis here. There are a few benches and spots of grass to sit on but it's hard to get one and as the festival gets fuller it gets even harder/grass becomes not an option.

I am enjoying myself, it's a punk music festival and I don't mind listening to it in general i just feel like I needed the afternoon off.

He can't go on his own for one afternoon? He's a chump.

Ha Jersey agree 100%

Ridiculous- him not you!

I've just been to a three day festival on my own and it was pretty exhausting, I know how you feel!

Personally I loved that I wasn't beholden to anyone and could wander around and watched exactly what I wanted.

He shouldn't mind going off by himself...

FFS, he either needs to moderate his activity to match your energy levels, or he needs to give you an afternoon off. If you're at your limit, you're at your limit, you can't just magic up energy from nowhere!

My DH is hugely active - always busy, always on the run, always on his feet - and I struggle to keep up sometimes. But he always stops and is very understanding when I can't go at his pace. I do feel guilty for slowing him down still, which is bad enough without having to deal with a proper strop on top!

He's being ridiculous. I like walking and punk music, but I'd still complain about walking 10 miles a day five days on the trot. Are you dancing at the festival as well? No wonder you're knackered.

Oh fuck that. Been to a (3 days/2 nights) festival once in my life and that was enough thanks. Never again! I prefer to have a seat, to not worry about SLEEP, and to have easy access to a loo. And I have been like this since I was a teenager. So me wanting comfort and rest is not an 'age' thing.

YANBU. Feign illness (not that you're feeling too chipper anyway!) and get out of it tomorrow! (or this afternoon, whatever.. )

And by the way, it's ludicrous to discount having a fold out chair! Loads of people have them at festivals!

Give him a photo of yourself and tell him to take that instead. Then he won't be alone, as you'll be with him in spirit.

Tell him to grow up and go on his own.

Spirit of punk - insist knackered wife accompanies you everywhere.

He's being a big baby. Perhaps it's the heat.

I shouldn't have agreed to come if I can't handle it

Who was going to go with him if you didn't?

Thanks for the replies, I'm glad you don't think I'm being silly.

Bemused, that's what my DH is like too, he has a very physically demanding job and he's always on the go so this doesn't feel any different to him.

I sometimes think DH does genuinely struggle to show empathy and can often be a bit unsympathetic in situations.

Fairenuff he said he would rather have not come at all, which I think is just bloody daft

I work out and I wouldn't want to walk ten miles a day and then stand around watching bands i don't even like!

why are you walking there?

and he is being a total child if he won't go alone.

He's being ridiculous

You've suggested a perfectly sensible compromise, he's whining about being "on his own" for an afternoon.

What a miserable pig.
Not very punk is it to only go if your girlfriend goes.Twat.
Stick to your guns bridget and when you get home,dump his sorry arse.