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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Dressing your kids identical a bit tacky?

407 replies

Joannearobbo · 09/08/2017 09:00

My friend has a 12 year old and 2 twin boys (not identical) who are 9 and every day dresses them exactly the same.
Everything is the same..tops/socks/jackets etc
I think it's a bit naff...but each to their own I guess.
What do you think?

OP posts:
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6
NoWittyNamesAvailable · 10/08/2017 14:29

I quite often dress my boys in the same tops, some days they match all day long other days they don't match all day. If one needs changing (they are 2.10 and 20 months) i wouldn't change them both to continue to match. My eldest is starting to choose his own clothes now and likes to be the same as his brother.
I posted before about doing this and pretty much got slated for it, mainly because its wasteful to not use handme downs. I do use hand me downs but my toddlers tend to get most of their tshirts stained with paintor food so it's easier for me to just buy new, and when smaller the sizes were wrong for the seasons.

Life is too short to be bothered about what other people dress their children in, as long as its weather appropriate and fits then who really cares?

thatorchidmoment · 10/08/2017 14:31

My SIL does this with her 3 boys. They are cute but I secretly wonder how on earth she can bring herself to buy so many matching outfits rather than make use of the hand-me-downs she must have accumulated over the years.

I once bought one of her boys (when she just had the two) pyjamas and the other a dressing gown. She scoured various outlets of the shop for weeks to find identical ones in the other boys' sizes so they could match while sleeping too.

I really think it looks too try-hard and trashy. She also gets annoyed if her DH dresses them in non-matching outfits, rather than being grateful he has had the initiative to get them ready in clean clothing while leaving her to have a lie-in!

On the whole, I regard her as a bit of a fruit loop, so this is just part of it. It does wind me up mildly as it seems so wasteful, but it's not for me to tell her off!

fishfingerman307 · 10/08/2017 14:38

I've two boys, two years apart and they are almost always dressed in identical outfits. But only because they refuse to wear anything other than their sodding football strips! Or they're in their school uniform.

I hate the concept of matching clothes but I (secretly) think they look very cute as a matching pair Smile

Jivebunny89 · 10/08/2017 14:40

Eh, my mum did this with us in primary school. She went to great pains to ensure that we were all treated equally. I specifically remember her coming home from Tesco with a pink stripy top and a red stripy top for my sister and I. We must have looked ridiculous, but we lived in the middle of nowhere, so we weren't as exposed to fashion, or choice in what we wore.

emilybrontescorset · 10/08/2017 14:45

It doesn't bother me, each to their own.

MsWanaBanana · 10/08/2017 14:52

I have 2 year old twins and have to dress them the same because if I put different tops on then they see each other's and start crying and screaming that they want it! I have stared putting on different trousers though so they're not exactly the same! It's just easier to dress them the same and have no arguements trying to get 3 kids under 5 out the house by 8am!

Valentine2 · 10/08/2017 14:57

What's with all this tacky and classy thing on Mumsnet these days? Confused
I dress mine in similar shirts sometimes. On days out, It is easier to spot them and then there is the issue of them whining over the same shirt if I buy one. There is a lot that I buy now once pairs. Saves my sanity a lot and makes them happy.
You have got to put away your jiffy pants op.

TmiTuesdays · 10/08/2017 15:00

I'm just always amazed that people manage it. If it's for a special occasion, maybe- but wouldn't you have to make sure you have two of every outfit washed and dried at the same time all the time? It's all I can do to get the laundry done at all without an added level of difficulty

thehousethatjillbuilt · 10/08/2017 15:00

Before you put your judgy pants on did you ever consider that she might do it FOR her kids??

I have a 4.5 year old and 2 year old twins. I had no intention of dressing them the same. When the twins were born my eldest became very withdrawn.

When they were maybe 6 months old and were starting to wear tshirts rather than babygrows he saw the tshirt one was wearing one day and asked if he could match. Matching them made him feel included and part of the gang and brought him out of himself.

I make a point of not matching them all the time and (95% of the time) I give them the choice before just dressing them the same. None of them has ever chosen "non-matching". So I now have matchy kids. It's a nightmare and it costs me a fortune (I basically buy each tee in each size from the one the smallest wears up to a couple of sizes above the eldest), but it helps my older child to feel included when it's very easy to feel excluded as a sibling of multiples.

VicarInATutuuu · 10/08/2017 15:26

This seems to be a big thing in Liverpool. I think it's cute when they're little and twins, but over a certain age it's a bit odd

squoosh · 10/08/2017 15:30

Similar jumpers or tshirts are fine. It's when it gets to matching sailor suits territory that it all looks a bit weird.

kmc1111 · 10/08/2017 15:46

Depends. Proper little outfits, super tacky. If it's just like, plain jeans and a plain t shirt, then I think that's fine sometimes, but still weird if it's a constant thing and always totally matching as far as colours.

MiaowTheCat · 10/08/2017 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TmiTuesdays · 10/08/2017 16:35

squoosh Depends how old they are. Matching sailor suits on 24 year olds can look rather nice Wink

ZanyMobster · 10/08/2017 16:37

My boys are 11 & 9 and often pick the same stuff, mainly it's sports tops so it will be the same football top or cricket top so I guess that doesn't really count. We went on holiday without them recently and bought them some tshirts back, 1 set were same brand but different designs based on what they would like the other tshirts were souvenir ones and were identical. They sometimes choose to wear them at the same time. They really don't care, they never look the same as one will always wear baggy joggers and the other very skinny jeans.

I did dress them the same as little ones, each to their own, it's hardly offensive. At 12 & 9 it is a bit odd to be dressing them exactly the same down to socks/jackets etc as I would expect them to (in particular the 12 year old) to not want to.

Sallystyle · 10/08/2017 16:38

8 and 10 year old girls who love dressing the same here. Not all the time obviously and sometimes they pick the same coats and trainers in different colours. They like it. Don't care if others think we are tacky.

Jux · 10/08/2017 16:48

Dreadful. Like the children don't have different personalities, as if they're not each a person in their own right.

One of my teachers had 3 girls - all different ages - and I'd see them in church every week, all dress exactly the same with their hair done exactly the same way with exactly the same accoutrements. Horrible, poor things. My mum would just look......

My aunt used to insist that both her daughters had exactly the same stuff, including birthday and Christmas presents. There is 3 years between them, they look nothing alike, the older is smaller than the younger, they have different hair - one dark, one blonde - etc. On one of their birthdays, when that one opened their presents my aunt would insist that the other was given the same, just not wrapped up, so everyone had to buy two presents or they weren't allowed to give them. The godmother of one refused to do it, and so would always end up giving the presents to me instead! I did quite well Grin

LittleLucyLuce · 10/08/2017 17:29

I think it's often done for attention. Someone I know has 4 year old identical twin girls and dresses them the same for everything, whether it's a party, pre school, or a swimming lesson. She is very attention seeking and relishes all the attention and the 'they look so cute' comments

Loveache · 10/08/2017 17:34

Was dressed the same as my younger sister for years. We don't look alike at all. I had to be the ugly one in clothes that didn't suit my colouring hated it!
Recently saw a lady who had dressed her 4 DC in polka dot anoraks. It looked a bit Von Trapp family but I'm sure she wouldn't lose them that way.

W3lsh · 10/08/2017 17:34

I think it's cute when they are very young. If they are old enough for it to bother them then yeah it's a bit tacky.

noeffingidea · 10/08/2017 17:45

It doesn't bother me at all. Clothes are just clothes. I don't think I would do it myself, mainly because I find matching socks into pairs to be a PITA , so probably would find matching complete outfits to be too much trouble but I don't think anything of it if other people do it (assuming the kids don't mind it).

noeffingidea · 10/08/2017 17:50

thehousethatjillbuilt that's a good point there.
As long as both or all the children are happy with it then I don't think it matters what other people think.

Didiplanthis · 10/08/2017 18:11

I hate it. I have identical twins and they struggle enough with people not knowing who is who without making it worse ! I do do same style different colours sometimes but more because their big sister like to feel similar and I will get 3 hoodies in different colours etc to help her feel part of it.

Pilgit · 10/08/2017 18:45

I have 2 DDs 8 and 4. I swore I would never dress them the same as I think it tacky and not allowing for their individual characters. Also they have both chosen their own clothes from a very young age (they are both very opinionated and stubborn so as long it is weather and vaguely occasion appropriate who cares if their mismatched stripes and fluorescents are an assault on the eyes - I don't have to wear it!). But they actively choose to dress the same! They want to buy the same clothes and then co-ordinate their outfits. Not all the time but often enough for me to get twitchy over it!

crazywriter · 10/08/2017 18:47

Ugh my DM used to do this with me and Dsis. I hated it. There are 6 years between us so it was embarrassing for me. People keep buying matching dresses and outfits for my DDs. I have to plan to make sure they're not in the same things at the same time (unless they decide they want to be or its for a dance perfirmance theyre noth in and then it's totally different)