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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Dressing your kids identical a bit tacky?

407 replies

Joannearobbo · 09/08/2017 09:00

My friend has a 12 year old and 2 twin boys (not identical) who are 9 and every day dresses them exactly the same.
Everything is the same..tops/socks/jackets etc
I think it's a bit naff...but each to their own I guess.
What do you think?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
brasty · 09/08/2017 09:38

Its fine when they are tiny. But at that age they should be wearing things they like.

viques · 09/08/2017 09:39

My mum used to do this with me and my sisters dresses. And she always bought my clothes slightly on the large size,so when I eventually grew out of them there were my sisters old dresses waiting for me..... I think I must have worn the same clothes for about four or five years. No wonder I can never clear out my wardrobe, it is in my DNA that I hang on to stuff.

WatchingFromTheWings · 09/08/2017 09:42

My 'D'm used to do that to me and my sis. Identical clothes but different colours. She'd only buy stuff she could get in 2 colours. So we'd be dressed the same but my outfit would be pink, sisters would be blue. She did this up until I was 13. Had no say in the matter and wouldn't have dared try!

sunnyshowers · 09/08/2017 09:42

At 9 I find the kids dress themselves so not an issue in my house now bur when my I'd twins were younger I did dress them the same mainly when we go out because it was easier to spot 2 lime green t shirts in a playground etc...

Plainlycrackers · 09/08/2017 09:43

My little sister and I chose to dress alike... not all the time but quite a lot... our DM would try to get us to at least have different colours of the same thing so we weren't completely the same. We were freaks, I knowBlush

mummmy2017 · 09/08/2017 09:44

I've seen a lot of this out and about this year, 12 children not a club, but aunts uncles ect, was told they do it so they can see the children in a crowd.

user1497557435 · 09/08/2017 09:44

Wow. My kids wouldn't let me choose their clothes much after age 3! I liked them having the independence and individuality.

However, sometimes when they were smaller and we were at the beach or other busy place I would dress them the same or in very similar bright colours to make it easier to spot them when having some independent play.

Serialweightwatcher · 09/08/2017 09:46

I think they're a bit old for that now not that it's ever great I don't think it's fair on the kids and suppose their friends notice and take the mick out of them

Shadow666 · 09/08/2017 09:47

Surely at 9 they dress themselves. Perhaps they like to dress the same.

lightgreenglass · 09/08/2017 09:48

I buy my kids the same stuff - 21 months apart as I can be arsed to look for two separate coats. They don't wear the stuff on the same day usually but sometimes they do and sometimes they cry because they want the same as what the other as got. This weekend at a wedding they're head to toe matching as page boys, I think they'll look bloody adorable.

They're both individuals - complete chalk and cheese but want to wear the same stuff.

KatharinaRosalie · 09/08/2017 09:50

I would think at 12 and 9 they would have some say in what they're wearing?

justforthisthread101 · 09/08/2017 09:52

@twohandstwokids DH took the DDs to a VERY busy tourist attraction a while back. He doesn't usually do day trips solo (I was away). DD1 is a dreamer and has a tendency to wander or get distracted (although is much better about it as she has had the importance of staying in sight drummed into her) and DD2 was at that time a bolter. I told DH to dress them the same so if one got lost, he could show Security what they were wearing.

Otherwise I agree with PPs, it's tacky. That said they do have some things the same as if I find something I really like, or is a good deal, I'll buy two and sometimes they'll choose to wear them at the same time.

swimbikerun123 · 09/08/2017 09:54

@GettingMarried17 I do the same when we are out in busy places (airports, cities, touristy places) . Eldest (12yrs) is ASD and 8yr old has severe ADHD. If they are dressed the same, I can point at one and say, "exactly the same top as that one".

We're off to London soon so they will both wear the same luminous green hoody so I can easily see them should one go into meltdown.

grasspigeons · 09/08/2017 09:55

I hated the idea then my youngest in particular kept picking outfits the same as his much admired big brother and they would chat and say 'shall we wear the skeleton top today'. I looked like a mum that dressed her kids the same. Mine are really independent, I let them pick their clothes, wear clashing outfits so it's not from me. If t does look cute now I see it's their own devotion,

IncyWincyGrownUp · 09/08/2017 09:55

I find it cringeworthy. If the children would like something the same if their sibling, not so much of an issue.

There used to be a pair of twins in the city I live in. They must have been in their sixties and were identical, clothes, shoes, haircuts, and never seen out without the other. It was very disconcerting to be sat having a drink in Marks and Sparks and have them sat at the table next to you messing with your head.

fuckwitery · 09/08/2017 09:56

Naff as fuck. I only have one friend who does it. Her house is spotless. You have to remove shoes even for a dinner party.

need I say more. Wink

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/08/2017 09:56

At 9 they will be making the decisions. Surely she isn't laying out their clothes for the next day.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 09/08/2017 09:57

If you have a bolter the best idea is to snap a picture as you leave in the morning. That can be shared as and when if they manage to get away.

Totally understand the needing a bright hoodie for spotting though. One year my bolter had his hair dyed a bright colour, and as it was nearly elbow length it made him very easy to spot in a crowd:o

Edsheeranalbumparty · 09/08/2017 09:58

It's interesting - my friend has 3 year old identical twins and has always dressed them the same. She says it's to actually give them a bit more individuality, as if they are dressed in different clothes people will just see them as 'x in the red top and y in the green top' and they just get seen as nothing more than their clothes. By dressing them the same people have to look at other aspects of them in order to differentiate, not just by what they are wearing. I had never thought of it that way before, but it does seem to work.

Having said that you would think that by 9 and 12 they would be choosing their own clothes!

FurryGiraffe · 09/08/2017 10:02

i have a four year old and a one year old. I really don't like dressing them the same, but DS1 loves it when they wear the same thing and absolutely insisted that they wear matching tops on DS2's first day of nursery. So I'm veering away from thinking it's a bit tacky to thinking it's very cute now!

BewareOfDragons · 09/08/2017 10:08

My children all have different coloured hair, eyes and overall looks. Dressing them the same would be ridiculously unfair to them.

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/08/2017 10:09

I have two boys 13 months apart and would sometimes co-ordinate them but not match them. i.e. if we were going somewhere they might be in an overall navy and red theme but the clothes would be different. e.g Ds1 navy shorts and a red t shirt and Ds2 denim shorts with a navy t-shirt with a red design on it or red and white stripes or something. But not for everyday. They do now (at age 16 and 17) have similar stuff, e.g. they both have navy or grey jersey shorts, but they tend to try to make sure they aren't wearing the same at the same time.

Enko · 09/08/2017 10:11

Mine were sometimes dressed the same or in the same clothing different colours. However if they ever expressed a wish not to be we didn't. I have some pictures of DD1 and 2 in the same dress different colour and they look lovely I think. We also have a school picture of all 4 in same clothing Grin

Everything in moderation is fine for me.

LaContessaDiPlump · 09/08/2017 10:12

My two are v. close in age and have lits of the same clothes because they fight like cat and dog over the unfairness of it all if one has a 'cool' tshirt and the other doesn't. It's got to the point where I only buy things (even off the discount rail) if I can accommodate both. It's depressing, frankly.

Having said that, I know someone who does this deliberately and I do find it a bit Confused

MiddlingMum · 09/08/2017 10:15

If you are going out, you don't need to dress them the same for "security" reasons, you can just take a photo on your phone before you leave.

I know someone who dressed her identical twin sons the same until one of them ran ahead and stepped off the pavement in front of a car. In that split second she didn't know which name to shout Sad After that they always wore different clothes.