To think losing your career is almost like a bereavement

[misjudgement]

I won't go into the ins and outs, but I am struggling with who I am and with what my identity now is.

Yes I am looking into retraining but it isn't what I did. And I have lost something that was a huge huge part of my life.

Yep I feel exactly the same- I've lost 'me'

I felt like that when I was made redundant. I think you do have to go through a denial -anger-sorrow-acceptance grieving process to be able to deal with it.

But, probably the best career move ever - and lots of people around me had their lives change for the better after redundancy (not always immediately)

Good luck in finding a new position.

YANBU.

Best of luck.

I think 'like a bereavement' is a meaningless phrase. There are so many kinds of bereavements and so many reactions.

Nevertheless, I hear ya op. Losing your career is shite. It's very hard to let go something that you may have dreamt about or been working at for so many years. It leaves you having to rethink that fundamental question 'who am I?'

It makes it shudder to think how I'd cope if I lost my career-I really enjoy it and because of my personal circumstances, I think that would be it for me work wise.

You have my deep sympathies.

I agree. I think many life changing events feel like they need a period of mourning/ adjustment to move on from.

I loved my career, did really well but it wasn't compatable with a high needs child (now disabled teen). Its taken a rocky decade to accept that particular life is over and start to look forwards not feel like I'm constantly looking back. I still feel some saddness though.

Accepting it does mean that i'm starting to find new ways forward beyond the sort of tredding water existance though.

Having hopes for the future deffinately helps leave the past in the past.

Bereavement is a bit strong OP.

I've been made redundant 4 times I think. It was awful each time and I was very upset and worried each time.

However, I have benefited personally each time. I don't mean cash here - I got very little by way of redundancy money - I mean by opening myself up to new opportunities.

Once you're over the shock and the loss you'll be OK. You'll find a new way forward. Best of luck.

Yanbu

UANBU.

YANBU! I'm into my 12th week at home having been signed off work indefinitely. I was/am self-employed so have had to wrap up my business and unlikely anyone will want to start work with me again when if? I get better.

Very sad that the career I worked so hard to build has collapsed in the space of a few months. Totally get the bereavement aspect. I'm feeling very lost as to who I am now.

It's really tough to be forced into the situation rather than choosing to move away from what you have trained to do and invested time in.

Your career isn't your identity though, it might feel like it but it sounds like you are making bigger decisions regarding your life plans. Getting this right first will likely mean your career plans will then fall into place.

Might be worth considering some life or career coaching before you go any further with thoughts of retraining?

Yanbu same here. I feel completely lost without my job, I still wake up thinking of the list of things I'll have to get done then slowly realise it's no longer my concern. Makes me feel very empty.

I had exactly this after a redundancy during the recession. I thought I'd lost myself and was in a total bereavement phase. I did manage to pick it back up after the recession though, eventually. It's hard if it's a field that has required you to do unpaid internships and really put your own time into it when setting out. The experience has made me constantly remind myself 'it's just a job!!' I'll never feel that invested in a job or career again - it's just not worth it!

The expectation is that people will have a job/career and in a sense, that is what defines them. If that is removed, it also removes a sense of self worth, a structure to the day and the identity that comes with having a place in society. I do think that a career is quite a large part of a person's identity. After all, when you meet new people, they will often ask what you do for a living.

When you've been made redundant, there's no structure to the day/week and you have to work at developing a new and different one. Add to that, the drudgery of applying for jobs and the soul destroying feeling when you're unsuccessful and it's easy to feel adrift from the 'normal' world.

YANBU. Redundancy is an enormous loss. It can be about how you see yourself, who you are, your status and professional standing in life, your quality of life, your core identity.

YANBU
My vocation was so knitted into my life that it was very difficult to unravel it and start something else , it was a complete lifestyle and way of living - everything within the family revolved around the work
But lots of things for various reasons eventually come to an end ( in my case I had fallen out of love with the vocation and all it stood for- so I instigated that change ) and eventually after a period of being very lost I found myself again and am doing something completely different that I love just as much

I think it depends on the career. Some careers are vocations and losing them is absolutely like a bereavement. (I am talking about losing a career not losing a job btw)

I left my career in teaching almost 2 years ago. I now do a job. A job I love (although the working environment is tough), but it is just a job. There aren't any career prospects, no sideways moves and anything vaguely similar nearby is considerably worse pay.

It has affected me. When you are a teacher people ask about your job/career, there is usually some respect and interest in what you do. I also felt like I was doing something useful to society. And now I just have 9-5. And we are treated terribly by management, but that's another issue.

I think 'like a bereavement' is a meaningless phrase. There are so many kinds of bereavements and so many reactions.

Yup. But I agree with you OP. I've (mostly) left law, and even though my life is better outside that career I still feel a deep loss at aspects of it, and my corporate identity.

Me too, OP. I had one career now I am retrained and have another but I hanker after the old life, even though it was hard. I know that if I'd stayed in my original career by now I'd be burned out, stressed, and be paid less than I was 12 years ago due to cuts. I'm feeling very ambivalent about retiring now. DH and I could live quite comfortably after next year without working but it doesn't seem quite right to me. I like a bit of panic and excitement in my working life and some challenges, going on nice holidays and cycling down to Waitrose doesn't really cut it for me.

I lost my career, my health and my eldest child all in the space of 6 weeks.
Almost a year on I am just about beginning to function again. Sort of.
I will never recover my health, I will never work in my career again and I will grieve for my son till my last breath.
I don't know how to do it most of the time but try very hard to focus on the positive - my dh, my friends, my brave and amazing remaining dc.
One day at a time.

...but I can now work in my PJs, so swings and roundabouts .

endofthelinefinally

Try not to worry about this, as others have said you can think of it as a fresh start. Focus on the good stuff like your health and general happiness!

Cheers,
M.JD

Are any of your skills transferable or could you start to train part way up the ladder e.g. If you have a degree can you do a PGCE or if you were in financials Gould you transfer to audit and than do your acca or the modern equivalent?