To think losing your career is almost like a bereavement

[misjudgement]

I won't go into the ins and outs, but I am struggling with who I am and with what my identity now is.

Yes I am looking into retraining but it isn't what I did. And I have lost something that was a huge huge part of my life.

I've known three people who lost their jobs and been made redundant in two of them they started their own business and have done really well not doing quite what they wanted but they adapted.

Other one sadly couldn't get over what happened to him, and he took his own life:-(

Some people have been known to have been made redundant and have still pretended to carry on going to work for a while, till the loss of income caught up with them.

Why did you 'lose your career' OP?

Hmm - being a teacher was all I ever wanted to do since I was 12. I've been one for over 20 years and it is certainly a large part of who I am. But... I hate it these days and would very happily do something that was 'just a job'. I'm sad at what has become of the profession I once loved, but I would be very happy never to set foot in a classroom ever again.

agree. I was working as an academic and lost my job largely because I refused to condone misconduct, and didn't "fit in". Having lost a job, i think i'll struggle to get back into it, and i've lost part of my identity. i consult from home, but the structure of my day is gone.

YANBU

YANBU, its part of our identity. Let yourself grieve as you would for any other major loss.

It's tricky comparing bereavement to other things. Not sure it's always appropriate. But I know exactly what you mean.

It is very hard. I wish I could give good advice about it, but I can't. Am finding it very tough. I lost my career due to health issues and am trying to start again at something, age 40. I have a minimum wage part time job in the meantime, and am doing a course to try and learn how to do something else. But my motivation is not there.

It's hard to give up on a dream, or something that you've worked very hard towards for decades. Does anyone know of any good support resources for midlife career changers?

I lost my career in 2012 due to serious mental illness... it's been very upsetting & I can't lie, I do feel bitter.

I now have another job but the wages are much lower & it's not a 'profession'.

Oh yanbu op.

It's like a black cloud that won't move over your head, no matter how you try. I went into a new job as such, and did this for over 2 years. I hated it towards the end, hence why I left.

It was if my identity had been ripped from me, and I wasn't me anymore.

Everyone knew what Longdistance did, and showed an interest.

I lost my career of 25+ years after suffering an injury. I was fired in almost exactly the same way as if I'd been caught stealing. It had a huge impact on my emotional state and self esteem. It's not something you can just 'cheer up and think of all the positives' about.

Counselling and time have helped me enormously. The circumstances of your situation make an enormous difference to the way you feel.

YANBU but take heart that things can and will improve. If you feel able to post more details some of us who have trodden this path may be able to offer more support.

yabu

it's a job not a life. You may face a period of adjustment or upheaval but there's no finality. No one has died and imo it's inappropriate to compare it.

I don't think it's at all inappropriate to make that comparison.
When I had to leave teaching I grieved and didn't know who I was anymore. I'm very privileged to have been able to rebuild my career but I'm aware that much of my identity is invested in it.

Hmm - being a teacher was all I ever wanted to do since I was 12. I've been one for over 20 years and it is certainly a large part of who I am. But... I hate it these days and would very happily do something that was 'just a job'. I'm sad at what has become of the profession I once loved, but I would be very happy never to set foot in a classroom ever again.

I feel exactly the same.

Ex teacher and job hunting. Feels weird.

OP hasn't said if she was made redundant, left to become a SAHM / carer, or something else. Need more info to comment

I am also an ex teacher. I have a new career and I am so much happier. BUT, I don't know what to do with all my time, I miss planning cool lessons and I do miss 6th Form teaching. I know I won't set foot in a school again though. It's become an ugly profession and something needs to break, soon.

I have felt grief over it; I felt so insulted, actually. I am starting to get over it after a good long while, and I was lucky enough to have something to fall back on and find a better, but related, job. Teaching is one of those vocations and it takes so much of your life up that it's hard to let that go. It forms part of your identity. I can imagine it might be similar for anyone who works mainly with people, or who have a lot of work to do at home.

Wouldn't be for me as I've done loads of things. Started again at 50.

When one door closes another one opens...

Bobbi what do you do now?

I've not and much luck yet finding alternative work. I think there is something about teaching that becomes all consuming and it's strange when that goes. I miss aspects of it a lot.

DH had his career taken from him and the injustice of what happened has been devastating. It has been utterly traumatic and we are three years on. Yes, I would liken it to a bereavement.

Yabu.

U have experienced redundancy and I have experienced bereavement. They are nothing alike. My bereavement floored me. My life as I knew it ended there and then and everything will be ever defined by "before" and "after". My redundancy left me with a little bit of extra cash and the push I needed to retrain and follow my dreams. No one died. Completely different experiences and not the slightest bit comparable.

Been made redundant twice and I've just decided to step away from my profession and start again.

Each time it's been very hard going! It's horrible and I've felt lost, sad, unsupported, insecure and afraid.

It's a huge loss!

I agree with you Op.

I watched my previous employer absolutely decimate staff; if she could sack them she did, manufactured misconduct charges, blackmailed them to leave , I left and watched good people lose their jobs, their reputations, their livelihoods, their personal relationships, their friendship groups, their social lives, their routine their financial security, the roof over their heads, and in one case their life......

Bereavement wasn't even close to what some people were put through .

Yes, my post is also about teaching, or rather academies swallowing up schools and forcing great teachers out because they are 'expensive'

YABU.

People can retrain and find fulfilling (maybe even better!) careers in the future. If can't just go and find another dad. So it's not comparable to bereavement. It's just losing a job, bereavement happens when you lose people and the two aren't comparable.

The only way I can give an example is that bereavement is closing a book on a part of your life (your relationship with the person who has died) and losing a job or career is like ending a chapter in a book, it's just the end of that chapter and there is more yet to be written.