To be sick of victim blaming on MN?

[CherryChasingDotMuncher]

I'm sick to the back teeth of reading victim blaming comments on here. Am I the only one who's noticed the tides turning on MN recently?

Heaven forbid women who've been through a trauma wear clothes from their actual wardrobe and don't buy a "victim outfit" to wear in public. It appears they're not a real victim unless they adhere to a certain set of behaviours.

That's just one thread today. I've seen comments recently about what sexual assault victims wear, how drunk they are. Yesterday people were equating raping a woman with a woman lying about taking a contraceptive pill (someone even said this was the same as rape) and not too long ago someone commented that it was Amber Heard's own fault that she got hit by the phone Jonny Depp threw at her because she didn't duck.

If you challenge these comments then you're often called a feminazi, an idiot or a man-hater.

I know this is kind of a TAAT (or several threads) but I'm beyond disappointed that a website predominantly for women would have so many people letting the side down and believing that other women are either lying until they can prove otherwise or that they deserve the abuse they get from men. And if that woman has ever displayed any sexual behaviour ever, then it's even worse.

@Cherry men have been convicted of rape for secretly removing condoms

Any links we could read about. All I can find on google says the court's don't think it's rape (see links above)

He could, if he wanted to, walk away from the situation

Heaven forbid he doesn't get his dick wet. Men HAVE to sleep with women you know Bert

But condoms are not 100% though

Mumof56 I said I'd no longer engage with you but I think that's a fair request

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/man-convicted-rape-condom-sex-switzerland-a7521891.html%3famp

Despite your subsequent link, this was still a conviction

Well according to a friend of the kidnapped girl, she is off doing a page 3 shoot today, make of that what you will...

Riiiight. One person and that was Switzerland. Any more?

We know that got. Doesn't mean you remove one when you've both agreed to it. And it provides a highly likely chance of protecting against pregnancy, whereas not using one doesn't. I don't really see your point on this, other than clutching at straws to try and make women look like rapists when they're not?

@Cherry Despite your subsequent link, this was still a conviction

A conviction that was overturned to a charge of defilement. So that's a no then.

Cherry? women can rape. Well, not rape in the eyes of the law, but hopefully this law will be updated at some point

Mum as I said I'm not engaging with you, you are not getting any of my points and I've spent the last 2 days going round in circles with you. Feel free to revel in the fact that a rapist has got away with rape, as if it somehow proves your point, if that's what you want to do. And then carry on with your woman hating, but I won't be entertaining it any longer

but Mum isn't woman hating, she is stating a fact

"but Mum isn't woman hating, she is stating a fact"

Really? Well, there's a first time for everything!

gotspoiler women can't rape, but for arguments sake let's say they can. Very few women commit sexual assaults. 96% of sex crimes are committed by men. The problem, for the most part, is men. there is nothing outdated about a term that indicates a crime only men can commit when so many men do commit it and so few women. If a woman does commit a sex crime involving penetration to a man, she is likely to get the same sentence as a rapist (based on her plea, victim impact etc), it just wouldn't be called rape. And that is a good example of semantics

But If you want to be a trailblazer for fighting hard against a tiny minority then I suggest you join a MRA organisation.

Have only read the first few posts, but if either of you featured in the taking off the condom/not taking the pill debacle are here then you clearly don't have a notion about rape.
Rape is a violent evil controlling act. I know unfortunately. Because I was raped.
Taking off the condom is actually nearer to it than not taking the pill is.

Got the woman hating was more in reference to another thread where mum and I butted heads.

Doesn't it occur to you most men don't report these things? The number committed by women in definitely higher. No, i'm not joining a crazy organisation of whiners

I don't comment on these type of threads either.
I can remember talking about using common sense when out and about to minimise the chances of being a victim of the date rape drug.
We live close to manchester and there were several uni students affected so I took an interest.
Lo and behold I was accused of victim blaming, just for suggesting women use common sense.
Yes, we should be able to wear what we like, behave how we like and go where we like.
The sad truth is that we can't.
Rather than teach girls this from a younger age we can't as it's victim blaming.

"Rather than teach girls this from a younger age we can't as it's victim blaming."

Surely it's boys we should be teaching.......

Surely it's boys we should be teaching.......

Nope because that buys into this shit that 'all men are rapists'

Surely it's boys we should be teaching.......

We already know which streets to avoid when wearing certain colours or clothes to avoid getting punched/mugged/knifed. You learn it in school.

Not all men are rapists but all rapists are men.

Or, if you don't accept that women can't rape, then 96% of rapists are men.

And I'll be teaching my son about consent and respect.if the world carries on as it is he'll need to understand it more than ever

Doesn't it occur to you most men don't report these things? The number committed by women in definitely higher.

Yes I accept that. The same goes for female victims. Only 50% of women report their rape. The number for men is definitely higher.
But roughly at 96%

And there was have the problem. Both men and women need to report more. Though with the small amount of police we have i'm not staying hopeful anything will change in the future

Woman lies about being on the pill, gets pregnant, man doesn't want this and it takes it's toll on his mental health and causes stress. I mean that isn't very nice now is it?

I imagine that's why Cherry described it as 'despicable'.

The woman could have used the numerous amounts of contraception they have. For men it is limited.

Men have available to them the only method of contraception that also protects against STIs and that can be used on a casual basis. It is always available to them even if a woman is using other methods.

I agree, though, that it's a scandal that all the available methods of hormonal contraception are only available to women, and that work on men's hormonal contraception generally stalls when any physical side effects such as headaches are discovered.

It's worth reflecting on the reasons for that. Women are deemed to be more willing to take hormonal contraception (that often has unpleasant side effects) because the impact of an unwanted pregnancy on them is much, much greater than on a man - so the incentive for mass take-up by men is lacking.

But as you say, how hard done by they must feel.

"Nope because that buys into this shit that 'all men are rapists'"

No it doesn't. And yes, that is shit. Which is why nobody says it. Another one of those ridiculous things anti feminists tell everyone feminists think.

When I teach my son about consent, I am not calling him a rapist. I am equipping him for the adult world.