Toddzilla Thread 2 - No Toddlers at the hen do please!

[whyhastherumgone]

Second thread set up as demanded by the Mumsnet hen do menagerie :)

Original thread here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2998359-AIBU-You-dont-bring-a-toddler-to-a-hen-do?

Quick summary:
Organising friend's hen do. All booked and paid for, sorted. Two weeks prior a friend attending, hereby known as Demanding Woman, tells me she will be bringing her toddler and DP along as toddler has tantrums that DP can't handle and won't sleep without her there. She will also require a private room now in the converted barn we are staying in, despite everyone agreeing to share etc.

A whatsapp exchange ensues with myself declaring that no this will no be happening and Demanding Woman getting very shirty. Demanding Woman takes it to bride who also shuts it down. So far Demanding Woman is still attending hen do in less than two weeks but is now trying to take control of hen do in terms of games/food/drink etc.

We now have a whole minibus of Mumsnetters, Toddlers, Toddler-eating-dogs, Elephants, hamsters, moody teenagers all planning to attend with boxes of popcorn to take over barn and avidly watch my first meeting with Demanding Woman which I'm definitely not completely and utterly dreading

I'm not sure I will have any further updates for a bit but I promise if there are any further mad details to be had, you will be the first to know.

As you were, Mumsnetters.

ready* bloody phone!

Mid day doesn't work for me!

Can you rearrange?

Can't wait!

@tandia some of those 'hens' looks like stags

Can you make it 3pm?

I can only come for one night, still want the best room but obviously will not have to pay a full share!

This is going to be fun!! Colby and I can't wait! Umm, there will be fresh litter boxes, won't there?

Ok ok ok you people I've been rather distracted with other unfinished business and almost got left behind.

I will attend. I am not entitled. Commercial airline week do me as long as I get a bed seat. DCat wants to come, but is concerned there are at least two other all black madams on the list. If this is indeed so, can they please be asked to do a temporary rinse (red or brown is fine, blonde is too flashy) for the weekend. Thank you.

I'm totally not fussed so whatever is good with me. As long as the snakes and rodents are in the spare barn. And the food is vegetarian. And the coffee is fresh ground. And no red wine. Not keen on the smell of beer or tea. Or meat. Bacon makes me gag but I quite like piglets if there are any coming.

Can't wait.

Oh I can't do midday, how about 5pm?!?!

Scoota will come if he can bring his frisbee.

Nope altiara definitely all hens! Unless they are stags who have learnt to lay eggs!!

I am coming but will need collecting at 11am. I am bringing my four foxes and they will eat everyones chickens but nobody can complain.

I have to have a separate room for eating in as nobody can watch me, and I want the lead part in any songs. Not much to ask.....

Just checking in!

I'm so excited! I've already packed. I have three large suitcases and a hat box. Won't be a problem, right?!

Shameless placemark

Me too...

Dd is at a birthday party til 5pm. We're going by stretch hummer so that won't be a problem.

Less than a week to go! Can't wait!

Be packed and read your by midday, Ive obviously arranged for transport to come directly to your doors.

Can I just confirm that transport will include toddler seats because I've decided I absolutely must bring my quadruplets who are super-clingy and can't be out of my line of sight in case they have a tantrum. They've all got norovirus at the moment so obviously I can't leave them behind and thought I'd just bring them along. They won't be any trouble and I'm sure they'll probably stop vomiting by the time dinner is served. I assume there will be Dettol, nappies and plenty of Calpol at the accommodation because you did say it was fully equipped. Also one of them is going through a biting phase at the moment but she hardly ever actually draws blood so I'm sure it will be fine. If we make sure the TV is permanently tuned to Peppa Pig on a loop and nobody makes any sudden noises I'm sure she won't get violent - unless she gets upset when we're combing out her nits as she does hate that.

Also, one of them mustn't be near a crucifix because for some reason he really screams whenever he sees one, we can't think why. He usually feels calmer when he is with the large black dog that just turned up on our doorstep one day with its glowing red eyes.

Assume that can all be accommodated.

Don't forget the special light and lamp for my tortoise I expect you to organise that!!!

I understand heat lamps will be provided for reptilian guests. Can my bearded dragon share with the tortoise? I'll obviously need to bring his special diet of live insects.

Which reminds me ... insects may be fine for some types of reptile, but my snake needs a supply of fresh rats

He also favours a free range type of rat - none of those inferior, pallid caged ones, please - so it's important that they're left to roam around the barn which is, after all, the sort of environment they've been used to

I assume that won't be a problem?

I want to shriek "Basiiiiilllll!" A la Sybil Fawlty! 😂