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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu not to split holiday bill 50/50

107 replies

SM1234 · 08/08/2017 08:55

Hi, I'm new to this so please bear with me....

DP has 2DS and we are going on our first holiday all together, usually when it's just the 2 of us we split costs and expenses 50/50. Aibu not to do this when there are 4 of us (DS 12 & 14).

DP earns more than me but I'm happy to put in a bit extra but not 50/50 - what would be fair?

Thanks

OP posts:
Painfulpain · 08/08/2017 08:56

I would split 50/50

isthistoonosy · 08/08/2017 08:57

Do you all live together as a family? I think the living set up has the most impact on who pays what.

DonaldStott · 08/08/2017 08:57

Yanbu. Cost of holiday should be split x 4 unless kids go free or something. I don't expect your partner would feel you should pick up the bill for this.

alltouchedout · 08/08/2017 08:58

50/50. We divide costs per adult as a rule.

MissBax · 08/08/2017 08:58

It depends - how long have you been with DP? Do you have a good relationship with his DC? Will the money not come out of a joint account?

TractorTedTed · 08/08/2017 08:58

Do you live together?
I guess it depends how you usually arrange your finances, but it seems fine to me that he should pay for his own children.

PenelopeFlintstone · 08/08/2017 08:59

YANBU, especially if he earns more.

HipsterHunter · 08/08/2017 09:00

I'd expect that he would be covering the cost of his children.

Have you talked to him and disucussed expectations on the split?

CherieBabySpliffUp · 08/08/2017 09:01

Going against the grain and saying you should only pay 1/4.
4 of you eating, you are only 1 person. You should only pay 1/4.
He shouldn't expect you to go halves

bimbobaggins · 08/08/2017 09:01

Oh, I love a bill splitting thread.
How long have you been together, do you live together? I personally would not expect anyone to pay for my dc share of a holiday.

FrancisCrawford · 08/08/2017 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GaryBarlowsTaxReturn · 08/08/2017 09:04

I don't think you should be paying for his kids.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 08/08/2017 09:05

Not a hope! I assume from the op that you aren't together too long and don't share finances so no way would I pay 50/50

Original poster
SM1234 · 08/08/2017 09:06

No we don't live together or have a joint account. I pay my way on our holidays and nights out etc but this is the first time this has come up really.

I will discuss with DP but I wanted to get some reactions to what's 'normal' in this situation first.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 08/08/2017 09:08

As you don't live together or share finances, I'd be very surprised if he's expecting you to pay 50/50. He should pay for his DC's holiday, not you.

BertrandRussell · 08/08/2017 09:08

Is he expecting it to be 50:50?

JamOrCreamFirst · 08/08/2017 09:10

You should pay 1/4, (unless the children are cheaper in which case pay for one adult). You are not married or cohabiting as a family. Has he asked you for 50%?

Northumberlandlass · 08/08/2017 09:10

Ok - I think it is different as you don't live together.

DP and I (we do live together in my house, he pays 'rent' for want of a better word) are going on holiday with my DS this month.
I have paid flights & accommodation for DS and I, DP has paid his - but we are 50/50 on spending money.

I am sure there is a mumsnet view on this Grin

But as you don't live together, I wouldn't expect you to pay for his kids tbh.

HolidayTimeAgain · 08/08/2017 09:10

As you don't live together and don't pool finances I think you should just be paying for your own share.

OcelotnotGiraffe · 08/08/2017 09:10

If you don't live together or have joint finances then it sounds like you usually pay your share. In this case your share is cleary a less than half.

Kids aged 12 and 14 will more than likely be adult price. Obviously if there is a child discount your DP would be the one to benefit from that.

As an alternative you could find it what it would cost for 2 of you then he pay the extra for 4 of you. It all depends on the type of holiday whether you are sharing a room etc, as to the difference in cost.

astoundedgoat · 08/08/2017 09:11

You should definitely not be paying for his children's holidays at this point, no.

MaisyPops · 08/08/2017 09:11

You don't live together, you don't have joint finances.

DP & 2 children = he pays 3/4
You pay 1/4

Him expecting you to subsidise his children when you don't even live together etc is ridiculous anyway, but add in that he's a higher earner than you and I think he's taking the piss.

Makes me worry that if you do move in together, you'll end up doing the childcare for his kids because he's busy doing important work things and because he earns more, he thinks it gives him a free pass.

MissBax · 08/08/2017 09:13

In that case as you don't live together or share finances then YANBU - has he asked you to split??

Ropsleybunny · 08/08/2017 09:14

He should pay for his DC, absolutely no question.

Imaystillbedrunk · 08/08/2017 09:14

Did the holiday include and "free" child places.