Is this accepted now? Young children and electronics on public transport.

[AnneGrommit]

The last few times I've been on a train (not in quiet coach) and quite often on the bus I've had my peace disturbed by toddlers with phones/tablets either playing noisy games on them or watching programmes. When I've asked parents to rein them in I've been invariably met with either passive aggressive remarks about not liking children (I have three myself) or outright hostility and a statement along the lines of "it keeps them quiet". No, it doesn't. It stops them from pestering you but it's far from quiet. AIBU or is this an accepted "thing" now? Because it's fucking annoying.

I always take my sons headphones never a bother that way.

Have you tried explaining to your son that other people have rights as well?

Do you think the pp should explain to her SN child that other people have the right to be selfish and noisy and his needs don't matter?

But only in britain is there the ludicous expectation of public transport to be a quiet place

That's total nonsense. Most European countries are far less inhibited about telling people - including kids - to shut up if they are being inappropriate, which would include using electronic devices without headphones. As for Japan - well just try it.

Nothing wrong with using electronic gadgets on public transport but it is definitely not acceptable to have the volume audible to other travellers, and that applies just as much to adults (who in my experience are much worse and can't / won't be shushed) as kids. My kids use headphones or have the volume down. I have my phone on silent unless I am speaking to someone on it. I also eat on trains and sometimes even buses if necessary (getting across London from one immovable appointment to another takes time and if I didn’t eat while travelling I'd get wobbly and right grumpy!) but ensure my food choices aren't smelly.

Have you read any of the thread at all where people have said they'd PREFER toddler chatter/peekaboo games than the same looping track from Toca Boca 100 times? And have you read the posters who have said the opposite? No reason why your rights are more important than mine or vice versa so I guess the best things is we leave other people to deal with their children in the way they see fit?

I think I have to accept that a lot of selfish rude people, simply do not realise they are being selfish and rude.

Do you think the pp should explain to her SN child that other people have the right to be selfish and noisy and his needs don't matter? Not really, not any more than I think other people should have to, you know the people who want to watch PeppaPig. Is there any reason why her son's needs are more important than theirs?

Well it's not quite what I said.... but good progress! We WILL make a considerate, non self-absorbed human out of you.

Toddlers whinging or kids playing I-spy is a natural noise though and a natural part of growing up. Electronic game noise is different and avoidable

What people don't seem to grasp is that after an hour or so of the same goddamn track looping you start to go a bit loopy yourself and want to throw said ipad out of the window or something.

I have definitely had train journeys where I can hear the noise OVER my own headphones. (And no, my headphones don't make noise themselves)

What about the noise of my reading to my son on the train or the noise of me singing the flipping train song again.
That does sound a bit annoying. Get headphones for him to listen to prerecorded stories or songs?

There are lots of things available now which make lives, including those of disabled people, easier. Just because they didn't exist in years gone by doesn't mean they shouldn't be used now with respect to others around you of course! Not just disabled people, we all have things that make our lives easier that earlier generations didn't have. Listening to PeppaPig isn't the biggest problem I can think of. I had my kids when you hand washed nappies, look at the massive issue now with landfills full of nappies. Not necessary but what a massive help to busy mums.

Most parents nowadays seem to manage to bring them with headphones.

However some adults seem to think it's above them.

Was on the train a few weeks ago and a lady got on with her phone blaring out some talk. I was half way down the carriage and could hear clearly every word. Eventually a mum with 2 toddlers and 4 week old baby twins (all of whom were quiet without electronics, although in the case of the twins that was because they were asleep) leant over and asked her if she'd like to borrow some headphones.
lady says "oh thank you, I forgot mine and didn't know what to do."
There were various mutters along the lines of offering to show her where the off button were-obviously not listening hadn't occurred to her.

What was particularly bad was when the lady went to get off the mum had to go and ask for them back and she said "can't I keep them, people keep telling me to turn it down if I don't have headphones."

I don't mind if because of SN they can't wear headphones, but most of the time it is just people being inconsiderate.

My laptop is playing up, last post should have said I agree, not just disabled people.

Depending on what they were watching it might annoy me but so many behaviours annoy me on public transport I just zone everything out. It's public transport so therefore I anticipate there is going to be lots of noise etc that I wish wasn't there but that's the deal with being in public!

It's not something we've ever had to do so far. DS is happy to chat or sit quietly on public transport for journeys up to about an hour (fucking miraculously because he's a hive of energy and chat at all other times), and anything longer than that we'd probably do in the car. When he has had a tablet for longer journeys on public transport (on the plane or Eurostar), he's been happy to wear headphones and keep the volume low. It's certainly not down to any stellar parenting on my part, we've just been lucky and got a good traveller.

Just a couple of points though, I hope everyone who's happy to tell off a child for listening to something on a tablet is equally happy to tell off grown-ups for doing similar/ having loud phone conversations etc. And I think snide comments about not being able to entertain or interact with their children are uncalled for. You are getting a snapshot of someone's life and it's unkind to judge when it's totally out of context.

headphones or strangling.

up to them

SpikyBall- I am all for people with disabilities participating in all aspects of life. I just think the same etiquette applies- headphones or sound off if you're in a waiting room, restaurant, enclosed space with other people. If the child refuses to wear headphones, then no screen. entertain and soothe them in some other way, like you would have if you'd been parenting not 10 years previously. Having a SN child is not a license to have your convienance override the needs of everyone else.

SN or not though (as somebody who is autistic, before you dogpile me) you do not need the volume to be full blast so everybody across the carriage can hear it. I think many of us complainers would be happy if people would just be bloody reasonable and make their kids keep the volume quiet rather than at 100%, even if it means leaning over every 5 minutes to turn the volume down.

Is it just me or do a hugely disproportionate number of people on mumsnet claim to be the parent of a SN child?

Is it just me or do a hugely disproportionate number of people on mumsnet claim to be the parent of a SN child?

I dunno, I feel like you could be right but I think people with SN children are more likely to turn to online communities for support where they can ask hard questions without people judging them IRL forever.

As long as you don't expect the parent to soothe the child to quietness Silverbirchtree. Mine will make loud repetitive noises to cope.