Anybody else on holiday with a miserable bastard husband?

[Nettletheelf]

I seem to have found myself on holiday with Victor Meldrew. Tell me that I'm not the only one.

On a hot Mediterranean island suggested by DH. We return to the UK tomorrow, after a week's holiday. Just him and me: DSD and DSS are too old to go on holiday with us.

I'm 45, he's 52. Both very fit and healthy. Happily married, except on this holiday, when I have been tempted to murder him!

His complaints during the week have included the following:

1. Too hot. We're in the fecking mediterranean in August. Of course it's sodding hot.

1a. Too hot to sleep well, thus making him "a bit grumpy".

1. Beach too sandy (I HAVE NOT MADE THIS UP). Sand too fine and gets stuck to things, causing dismay.

1. Beach, specifically sand, too hot to walk on.

1. Has been "too full" to properly enjoy dinners at range of lovely restaurants.

1. Claimed to be 'delirious with the heat' today after leaving air conditioned coach for two hours in historic town.

1. We went on an organised long walk through an area of outstanding natural beauty, just up his street, I thought. He was disappointed in it. The gorge was "too stony".

1. Following gorge walk, his legs were "a bit sore" when descending stairs.

1. Foreign chocolate not up to UK standards.

1. World heritage site "a bit boring" and "just a load of stones".

10. Doesn't like "being told things by people" i.e. tour guide with expert knowledge of ruins.

Etc etc. I'll spare you the rest.

Is this inevitable? Do they all turn into whinging bastards? We know loads of them, and I always thought DH compared well. He doesn't!

It's enough to put me off going on holiday with him again.

Do I need to put LIGHT HEARTED, LIGHT HEARTED to prevent people telling me that my marriage is over and I should leave him? I have, just in case.

Tell me that I'm not the only one!!

On the subject of foreign supermarkets though, I have been all over but the supermarkets I like best and can spend the most time in are in Germany. Not sure why that particular country exerts such fascination for me though.

Nettletheelf you have made me laugh. Thank you.

I love a siesta or two. Am in the med. It is too hot. The beach is too sandy. Oh god I'm a grumpy old woman

My ex would constantly grumble and complain on holiday and then wistfully comment months later about the 'really special memorable adventure we had there'

Eh??

50 weeks of Victor Meldrew at home, then 2 weeks away with Pollyanna.
I think mine just forgets he's with the family and floats about in his own fecking world half the time I need a toddler rein!

My dh and I LOVE a foreign supermarket! Especially in the US. All those variations on the same thing. Why spend a fortune on theme parks? too hot and endless queues when you can have a free day with air con in a supermarket? You haven't lived until you have watched an extreme couponer at work at a checkout. The poor sod who has to serve them!

Milk is very complicated in American supermarkets. Has anyone else found that?

And Target sells guns 😵

I am ignoring the stain on mumsnet that is the initial giver and the 'cheers'. I don't want to listen to his boring brags or worldly advice. ''Tis dull. Aka old man dull.

Target. Where else would you buy a gun?! And yes, I am glad it's not just me re: the milk thing.

I resort to sarcasm.

You are so right the Beach is just too sandy - its ridiculous - and whoever thought it wise to have sand where people want to access the sea barefoot was just an idiot - I mean the sun bakes the sand - crazy stuff. You should write to the telegraph... etc etc and eventually he laughs, Its Grumpy Old Man Syndrome

Making those comments doesn't mean that's all he was doing/saying. They're all reasonable complaints! I could quite easily have made them all on a holiday I'd arranged and was enjoying. It's just expressing your feelings about whatever you're doing at the time.
What would be annoying would be someone complaining about everything I said.

I've had to listen to my mum complain incessantly about the heat for about 2 weeks now . In her defence, she actually lives there so didn't choose to visit a hot place, but telling me you envy me and you'd like it to rain at yours is not the correct answer mother when I'm telling you my toddler is going stir crazy indoors!

Several years ago during a Spring-time break in the Lake District, DH was and vocal about the inevitable weather until I pointed out to him that there was a reason that it was so green and lakey...

Mine somehow managed to escape the elaborate murder plan I conceived during a day out last week. YANBU

Martin JD, in the European heatwave of 2003, 35,000 people died.

35,000 people.

I think perhaps 5 have died in this year's heatwave? While sad, it in no way compares to the weather in ... Er ... 2003. So nob off with your ridiculous suggestions and ill-founded opinions.

Regards,
TRLNM, Intolerant of twats

My DH has a major tantrum every holiday so this year I am sending him and DS 17 away together for some male bonding, and having a relaxing time on my own at home.

Oh dear. He sounds like me. at tourists talking too loudly. I hate noise too.

OP you've made me giggle! Maybe next years holiday will b better!!

I arranged a fabulous holiday for DP and I to the Amalfi Coast, our first foreign trip together. We were greeted at Naples airport and ushered into a posh car. DP didn't speak to me for the entire 90 minute journey. A few hours after our arrival he decided to open his mouth and told me he was angry because it was cloudy and I hadn't told him it might be. He sulked for about three days straight about the dodgy weather. It was like I was on holiday with a different man - at home he's a laid back non sulker.

Eventually I told him to fuck off home so I could enjoy the holiday. He rallied in spectacular fashion before declaring it the best trip he had ever been on.

Years on he completely denies any bad behaviour in the Amalfi Coast!

Nettle I have a DH like this too!

We now go on our own on hols and where we go there's a fantastic beach, so I ask DH if he fancies coming down with me to it. "It's just so sandy" he says. "Look I'll pay for a bed and a shade for you, a padded foam mattress and shade"
"But what about the sand" he says
Grrrrr.

So I can't be arsed and leave him to it and he spends hours sleeping and when he's awake he's watching some godawful peculiar mediterranean sport that no one has ever heard of. Or foreign cooking shows. Then sleeping again.

I get back and say I did a bit of snorkelling, and I swam lots, and I read nearly all my book, and had a beer on the beach and how fantastic it was and ask him what he's been doing. "Not a lot" says he.

He may as well stay home! But don't care as I enjoy myself.

However, we do love a good supermarket together

My DH found Pompeii "an awful lot of stones"...you're not alone!

DP like this too, book beach holiday - 'I don't really like the beach'

Have an afternoon in apartment 'seems a shame to not be out after we've paid to be on the beach' WTAF ha.

Never heard of Martin until this week and he's on every post annoying the fuck out of everyone. He must have a sad life if his thrill is posting on a mums site to get a reaction.

he spends hours sleeping and when he's awake he's watching some godawful peculiar mediterranean sport that no one has ever heard of. Or foreign cooking shows. Then sleeping again.

I get back and say I did a bit of snorkelling, and I swam lots, and I read nearly all my book, and had a beer on the beach and how fantastic it was and ask him what he's been doing. "Not a lot" says he. OMG Roussette ! This is EXACTLY what DP did last year. He even managed to find some European versions of Antique restoration shows and his favourite 'When Trains Attack' and 'Snap. Why Women Kill' type programmes.

Dh and i agreed to never go on holiday for more than 10 days for the good of our marriage. Cheap flights timing mean we next go away for 13 days

He has always hated the heat and only wants to sit in shade (i like shade and sitting too, sadly dc dont). Hes also anti beach and obsessively against insects (ergo cant sit outside on balmy evenings, must swelter inside).

Last year he threatened to divorce me because he didnt want to be on the beach at noon for a very quick paddle with young dc before going to a coffee shop. Expected the dc to sit looking at sand and sea whist he drank coffee. Acted like a nuclear dust cloud was about to descend the way he dragged ds2 off the beach. Ds1 and i stayed and played for an hour.

According to him the 'correct' time to go to the beach is 4 pigging 30 in the afternoon (sea is warm and its not fierce sun). Whilst that might be pleasant its not great for getting back dressed and out for early tea with dc. Plus theres the small matter of what to do with the first 10 hours of the day.

Argh rant. OP i feel your pain.

I have had a lifetime of holiday complaints from DH.
He now doesn't like anywhere, it would appear. Journeys are too long, the hotel rooms are never good enough, the itinerary is always wrong, despite the fact he agreed to it, the travelling is too much (he agreed to it). I am not allowed to look in a bookshop or jewellery shop ever again. All museums are boring. A never ending list of complaints. Even the coffee is not to his liking. In the last few years, every day on holiday brings a fresh complaint. He now wants to just sit on a beach. He will probably do it with someone else! He has refused to go on holiday with me ever again. I feel relieved!