Anybody else on holiday with a miserable bastard husband?

[Nettletheelf]

I seem to have found myself on holiday with Victor Meldrew. Tell me that I'm not the only one.

On a hot Mediterranean island suggested by DH. We return to the UK tomorrow, after a week's holiday. Just him and me: DSD and DSS are too old to go on holiday with us.

I'm 45, he's 52. Both very fit and healthy. Happily married, except on this holiday, when I have been tempted to murder him!

His complaints during the week have included the following:

1. Too hot. We're in the fecking mediterranean in August. Of course it's sodding hot.

1a. Too hot to sleep well, thus making him "a bit grumpy".

1. Beach too sandy (I HAVE NOT MADE THIS UP). Sand too fine and gets stuck to things, causing dismay.

1. Beach, specifically sand, too hot to walk on.

1. Has been "too full" to properly enjoy dinners at range of lovely restaurants.

1. Claimed to be 'delirious with the heat' today after leaving air conditioned coach for two hours in historic town.

1. We went on an organised long walk through an area of outstanding natural beauty, just up his street, I thought. He was disappointed in it. The gorge was "too stony".

1. Following gorge walk, his legs were "a bit sore" when descending stairs.

1. Foreign chocolate not up to UK standards.

1. World heritage site "a bit boring" and "just a load of stones".

10. Doesn't like "being told things by people" i.e. tour guide with expert knowledge of ruins.

Etc etc. I'll spare you the rest.

Is this inevitable? Do they all turn into whinging bastards? We know loads of them, and I always thought DH compared well. He doesn't!

It's enough to put me off going on holiday with him again.

Do I need to put LIGHT HEARTED, LIGHT HEARTED to prevent people telling me that my marriage is over and I should leave him? I have, just in case.

Tell me that I'm not the only one!!

Oh dear I think I may actually be your DH in female form.

On our last holiday I cried because the tent was too hot to have a nap in

We aren't going away this year

I must admit, the op's posts were funny.
Just a pile of stones.. Made me laugh anyway.
He will probably get back home, then tell everyone it was great - had a lovely time!

Take DH on a sight seeing/touring holiday especially if it is jut the 2 of us and we get along perfectly. We need 2 beds as I am an insomniac who fidgets and snores, whereas he has to have perfect silence and pitch black otherwise he moans non stop. Other than this we do fine, if he wants to hike up a mountain he goes alone as I can't do that anymore due to a bad back. When we have some retail therapy we spilt up and meet in a coffee shop when done.

Take DH on a beach holiday and he i like some many of the previous men. He sleeps in, gets up to lie on a sunbed and worst of all sticks in his headphones and ignores me. Had 1 week in Greece at the start of the holidays with our DC, the villa had a pool so he couldn't see the point of going to the beach, to get sandy and to pay for sunbeds to lie on (we are not short of money).

Was useful at popping to the shops for lunch etc. bit only because he decided that it would be too much for me to drive so I didn't get to explore the supermarkets.

DC were not much better and spent most of their time watching YouTube and texting their friends, I read and enjoyed the pool.

Did manage to drag them all out to eat each night, where I had plenty of wine to get me through the next day. DH rarely drinks, DC joined me in getting merry.

A week was long enough.

I imagine Martin to be like Jeremy Clarkson. A right posh bore.

I'm off on hols with dh and the kids. To the med in august. I fear it could all go horribly wrong as he's neither a beach nor heat person.

Msqueen, good luck.
I did hear once that after the six week hols and christmas are the times divorce lawyers love the most.
Im sure you will be fine though!
( tell him to just suck it up, its only for a while )

@Nettletheelf

Have you looked into whether murder is legal over there? 😉😂

I see Martin more as Brian from Corrie, without the charm. Or Richard briars character inEver Decreasing Circles.

Martin (Marty to me) is GabbyLogon reincarnated, surely. GabbyLogon who, at the height of his Mumsnet career, accused me of being a senior Tory.

Spar shops are so quotidian, Marty darling. I'm surprised these are something strange and foreign to you. Looking at their website I've learned there are 5 within a 6 mile radius of my tent house.

If you guessed Crete, you were spot on! If only I'd investigated the Cretan judicial system for husbandicide penalties. Perhaps instead of killing him I could have sentenced him to bull leaping, as depicted in frescoes at Knossos.

(Knossos was the target of the "just a pile of stones" gripe but I prefer a PP's father's complaint that it "looked like a Jewson's building yard". Curmudgeonly AND witty! However, DH is now on the phone to one of his mates telling them that Knossos was great! Despite spending most of the visit hiding under an archway, complaining about Russian teenagers nicking the shade and whining about the tour guide "telling him things" and "not changing the sound of his voice enough when he switches from English to German".)

We landed to torrential rain and 12 degrees and he is now moaning that the weather is "a disgrace for August" and that he wishes we lived in "Italy or somewhere".

Going away in August was his choice so that he didn't have to miss any of the Tour de France on the telly. A May or October holiday next year, I think.

Love everybody's stories!

Is Martin a hapless troll?

Stop feeding it, it'll go away eventually...hopefully

Martin thinks he is posh but you want to bet he owns napkin ring, darling.

@KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth

That's too good! 😂

Nettle ahhhh you always miss what you can't have. My DH always says when he gets home "I wish we could've been there longer" and I say "What... so you can watch who won Cocina de Limon, the Spanish cooking show??"

p.s. It's not called that, it's my name for it!

I am stealing Cocina de Limon for next week if you don't mind Roussette. I will need it .

I see Martin more as Brian from Corrie, without the charm.

Nope. Yoni Massage Brian, surely? I can't remember where YMB was, though - Scunthorpe?

I know a facking great hypocrite, but can we just have a 'don't mention M' rule like Fawlty Towers? And then actually observe it...

here you need this.
This I why I holiday without Dh, I left him home to re do the patio and he annoyed me so much when I was packing I hoped to place him under said patio before leaving.
Sulky arse picked us up from the airport and drove home in silence, said he's getting used to us being around again. We were gone for a week in Gran Canaria, not a trek around the world.
In the delirium from being in the hot sun I considered taking him with us next year, even Dd said we should she was sun affected too After the drive home it'll be over my dead body which he will no doubt place under the patio if given half a chance

Op I found your opening post and updated list very funny

Almost as amusing was the Spar comment still if you haven't travelled much or only stay in those dull resorts that are the same world over you probably won't see them or experience how great supermarkets are abroad

I love supermarket shopping when abroad especially ones that are not aimed at tourists favourite items being toiletries. Recently purchased some baby cologne smells lovely and vitamin spray for my hair and sweets that explode in your mouth that would probably be banned in the UK

I had an ex who was intolerable on holiday complained the food wasn't like in the Greek restaurants kebab shop at home this was while we were in Turkey and that it was too hot, tv was boring, people too nosey, people are rude, beer wasn't real beer, meat was probably donkey the list went on I soon realised he was always miserable just on holiday I was his only audience - not suggesting it's the same for others

meat was probably donkey Oh Enthusiasm sorry. That is funny. I am reliably informed that my exH is the same. I wouldn't know because he spend the whole time in the pub.

Is this really bad? I love going on holiday with DS. He is 12 and so easy going. I know that will change and I'm happy to cater to what he wants as he gets older. But then when he doesn't want to go away with me is it bad to leave DP at home? It's not is it? I'm really looking forward to it.

I'm giggling like an idiot at Shatner's "GabbyLogon who, at the height of his Mumsnet career, accused me of being a senior Tory". Whatever happened to Gabby? He was a constant source of entertainment.

I'm also laughing at Knossos being a pile of rocks. We went to Pompeii in August once - that's a big pile of rocks which is actually hotter than the sun. And then there was the 3 hour walking tour of the Coliseum and the Forum I booked at 12 noon one day in the same August when it was 38C. The family all loved me for it.

MartinJD
You clearly think that you are some sort of loveable rogue and that all the little women on here find you hilarious.
You are wrong.
Fuck off you tedious twat.

My DH is generally lovely on holiday as long as he's in reach of aircon at some point. Love a holiday moan though...

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I think Martin lives in Cyprus

Just as well you didn't go to Cyprus or he'd have another thing to moan about. The heat wave isn't as bad there; in fact, it was raining last week!