Anybody else on holiday with a miserable bastard husband?

[Nettletheelf]

I seem to have found myself on holiday with Victor Meldrew. Tell me that I'm not the only one.

On a hot Mediterranean island suggested by DH. We return to the UK tomorrow, after a week's holiday. Just him and me: DSD and DSS are too old to go on holiday with us.

I'm 45, he's 52. Both very fit and healthy. Happily married, except on this holiday, when I have been tempted to murder him!

His complaints during the week have included the following:

1. Too hot. We're in the fecking mediterranean in August. Of course it's sodding hot.

1a. Too hot to sleep well, thus making him "a bit grumpy".

1. Beach too sandy (I HAVE NOT MADE THIS UP). Sand too fine and gets stuck to things, causing dismay.

1. Beach, specifically sand, too hot to walk on.

1. Has been "too full" to properly enjoy dinners at range of lovely restaurants.

1. Claimed to be 'delirious with the heat' today after leaving air conditioned coach for two hours in historic town.

1. We went on an organised long walk through an area of outstanding natural beauty, just up his street, I thought. He was disappointed in it. The gorge was "too stony".

1. Following gorge walk, his legs were "a bit sore" when descending stairs.

1. Foreign chocolate not up to UK standards.

1. World heritage site "a bit boring" and "just a load of stones".

10. Doesn't like "being told things by people" i.e. tour guide with expert knowledge of ruins.

Etc etc. I'll spare you the rest.

Is this inevitable? Do they all turn into whinging bastards? We know loads of them, and I always thought DH compared well. He doesn't!

It's enough to put me off going on holiday with him again.

Do I need to put LIGHT HEARTED, LIGHT HEARTED to prevent people telling me that my marriage is over and I should leave him? I have, just in case.

Tell me that I'm not the only one!!

It's all yours HemanOrSheRa !!

I've just realised that despite never actually going on holiday with DP, we have had a trip to Manchester and that was enough to make us snarl at each other and for him to have a meltdown because we couldn't find the car park.

Annoying? Absolutely. But we were in the fucking city centre and it was a choice of two car parks so it was hardly lost. He was saying we'll end up calling the police to help us .

And then got annoyed the toddler needed a bum change...

I'm staying at home!

Do you think that the J in Martin JD stands for JEFFREY? Just a thought.
I still think he is an ex pat in Cyprus as well

I am Spartacus...... er sounds like me

Oh boy - sounds like he's got a years worth of whinging out the way. It will be paradise when you get home ;)

Well if you take a man out of his comfort zone......

Is he menopausal? That could explain the heat and fluctuating moods!

It's just a thing, no need for divorce... yet!

I'm on holiday with my grumpy arsehole husband in Norfolk and it's pissing it down! My kids (and dog) are behaving fantastically well but the man child is sulking because of the weather. I think he's actually trying to blame me for the pissed poor conditions He keeps banging on about getting a coffee and cake but when we tried parking, clearly everyone else obviously has the same idea so everywhere is chocka. He wants to aimlessly drive from village to fucking village looking for an authentic Norfolky coffee shop but then driving by each one saying "nope, not that one" FFS!!!! Apparently my idea of finding a nice pub to get some food and relax in, is pointless and stupid, only a coffee shop will do today.

Roll on friday when we're back home.

Look around....old ladies having coffee, chatting, joining reading groups, art clubs, keep fit, gardening, shopping, babysitting, doing voluntary work, going on holidays and days out with female friends. Old men? ...just go over to Grans Net and you'll see that most of them are miserable, lazy old buggers stuck in front of tv all day long!

Love the title of this one! Sorry it wasn't great. FWIW I can envisage hols being like this with me and my DH in 15 years time 😣

Take him to Norway next year.

Aren't most men over 50 Miserable. Grumpy. Bastard. Arseholes? Or have I had everyone else's share?

I tell you when they're not:

Having sex
Playing Sport
Eating

And that's about it unfortunately. Oh well, not long till check in.

Sodding heat has a similar effect in me too, turns me into a whinger.

Omg-I think I am just like your dh this holiday. I booked and chose everything, spent a friggin fortune and we are w our 4, 6, and 8 yo and nanny (and please don't slaughter me) but I am grumpy and feel like I am in hell and want to come home. We are in southern Italy in total luxury but It is too hot (lucifer barely captures it) overcrowded, and my (Italian) dh who couldn't be bothered to help me choose (we both work but I always have to choose and pay for vacations or they wouldn't happen) seems completely oblivious, happy to work while kids are being horrible, relaxed w the chaos, and trying hard to make me happy. I really just feel like staying in the air con but of course kids need to be worn out and nanny is totally lost here and on top of us (it is the first time we have brought her and this last house is lateral and her room horribly positioned-bless her she is trying but I made a mistake) I learned my lesson but sill need to survive last days...try to ignore him and let him do his thing is my advice as that is what I want!

Yes, but Guilty - would you take yourself off to the med in the middle of friggin August?????

Possibly not

My husband can be a bit like this.

I have a theory that men like this are slightly on the ASD spectrum but have learnt coping strategies whilst growing up so don't appear to be so. But they were the children who were tantrummed due changes in routine, toast being cut in squares rather than triangles and getting sand in their socks.

Murpher u r soooo right i would add watching sport to that second one!

LauraB - are you taking the piss?

Oh yes MrsT - forgot that one!

Or, having sex whilst watching sport! With maybe a snack in the side?

You can take the English man out of England..

He sounds like one of those annoying people who just hate the heat. Maybe if you go to Iceland next time he'll be brilliant company..?

'brought on by calimari being "too curly"

Best thing I've read in a while.

Next year I plan on taking DH (forrin, bit snooty really I suppose) to Blackpool for the day when we are back on the UK on holiday.

He thinks it's like Old Orchard

Are you married to my partner? He once described the Grand Canyon as "just a big hole in the ground" and said he didn't want to go to the Leaning Tower of Pisa because "we've got buildings with subsidence in this country"!

I despair sometimes!

Shame I didn't have my phone handy when he kicked the air conditioning unit and called it a cunt.

Thank you, that has just made a very boring afternoon amusing. I woke the cat laughing.

Now this thread is funny!

I've actually just snorted some chicken down my nose laughing!

Thanks OP really tickling my funny bone

Another one is- my DH is v pale skinned but loves nothing better than a holiday in the heat - it takes hours to get his sun cream on - I don't know why but it just really irritates me then he moans he has to wear cream blah bloody blah well don't go on holidays completely unsuitable for your skin type

Ditto he always gets some stomach issue which is made to be far more than it is - this from a man who thinks I "didn't give birth you "just had c-sections" - god he is very annoying!!!!

I really need a holiday away from him and the kids😄

My dad took my stepmother to Italy. She spent the entire time moaning. He lost the rag in Rome when she was complaining about the unevenness of the ground at the Forum and bellowed at her "it isn't fucking Disneyland". Is one of my all time favourite expressions (so unlike him, he is very anti swearing).