Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Original poster

...to think that she should pay for a new switch and get her bloody kid one too?

227 replies

nikiforov · 06/08/2017 03:06

Quick backstory: I live with some friends who are parents, nowhere to fit a TV in my room (I got the downstairs smaller one because I'm not a parent and we rent the house together, I'm not a tagalong or anything). I knew living with a kid would be odd and I'm childfree but we agreed at the start that I wasn't a free babysitter, I'm a student and I need my own space, et cetera - usually I leave my door unlocked because we all trust each other and the router is in my bedroom due to it being the only place with router access, so it's awkward if I'm at uni and the internet goes down.

I also have a nintendo switch in my bedroom, which is mine and mine only. Her kid is 6 now, so he's old enough to play it and she's been bringing up the subject more and more hinting that I'm being selfish by not letting him play it and she can't afford one, I can afford more because I'm a student and she cooks meals for us (she doesn't cook meals for me, I buy my own food and make meals myself because I'm a vegan and they're meat eaters so that's a lie) and anyway, push came to shove and she let the kid use the switch without my permission today. The screen is scratched to hell.

WIBU to demand she buys me a new one after damaging my property? Or am I being a stingy childfree bitch? I don't want to take it to some shady place to get a new screen fitted, which would void my warranty completely, but this would also be classed under not damaged enough for a replacement/fix or sort of 'it's your own fault' damage. Moving out isn't really an option until the lease runs out and I honestly didn't have much choice. It was this or halls, and halls is infinitely more expensive and I wouldn't have had my own private bathroom.

OP posts:

Jedimum1 · 08/08/2017 10:30

I'm shocked at some PP's replies. I'm a mum, my kids are similar age to your roommate, my hobbies are Netflix and gaming. Under no circumstances are my kids allowed to touch the PS4 or my tablet. They have their own cheap locked-to-all-adult-content tablet that they can bash around and where I've installed kids' learning apps. A console is not a toy, it costs £250-£500 before you add accessories. The average gamer is over 30yo. Most games are for adults. My console is not a toy, it's a multimedia station with which you can not just play but also access the internet, Spotify, Netflix, YouTube, message people, you name it. One of my kids broke the controller, we didn't just go "oh, we deserved it, it was laying around". There are things in a house that are for kids and things that are for adults. I baby-proofed my house when they were little, but once they understand boundaries and instructions, I stick with those. I don't allow my kids in the kitchen either, from 2yo they would stop at the door frame if they wanted something. At 6yo they definitely know not to go into someone's bedroom. Whoever said to let the kid play, that's rubbish. You can get lots of games for free or under £5 on the phone, the mum should have installed Sonic or Mario in her phone and let her kid play... Or is it a "no" because phones are expensive? Consoles are as expensive or more! Plus it wasn't hers to take!

I would get a lock. Get something to reset the router from other room, hand this to her. Tell her she can get games for kids on her phone / tablet.

clippityclock · 08/08/2017 10:37

I am a parent to a 7 year old and have a lodger living with me for 5.5 years. My DS is not allowed to enter her bedroom ever it is her personal space. He would not dream of using or even asking to touch any of her stuff even if it is left in the lounge.

I frequently tell him that chocolate/cakes are hers so he doesn't touch even when they are mine If my DS had touched and broken any of her things I'd be replacing them with new ones. She pays to live in my house not to entertain or babysit my kid or share her stuff with him.

Original poster

nikiforov · 08/08/2017 11:51

I'll try and talk to uni, but the housing place are ~~useless bastards~~ very biased towards getting people into halls. She's not my landlady though.

Thanks to everybody who's helped btw, there's not much more to say depending on what Nintendo come back with. Just got to crack on and I'll contact the actual landlord and let him know.

She does pay towards the internet but she seems to be out of money to pay the £15 it costs monthly despite making SO MUCH MONEY out of her business. It's really weird.

OP posts:

strawberrisc · 08/08/2017 11:59

I FINALLY got an iPad after years of yearning! Friends and family treated me to the iPad Air 2 for my 40th birthday. I let my 13 year old DD use it but I'll be fucked to let my niece and nephew (who I adore) get their grubby mits on it. I don't feel guilty - it's ok to say no to kids. I used to be forced to hand over MY ZX Spectrum and all the games on cassette thay I paid for to my (then) bratty younger sister. She destroyed them and it caused so much resentment between us. Same with my books and comics. I feel strongly about ownership of goods. If you own something you are perfectly within your rights not to lend it out - let alone have it stolen borrowed without your express permission.

NikiBabe · 08/08/2017 12:08

She does pay towards the internet but she seems to be out of money to pay the £15 it costs monthly despite making SO MUCH MONEY out of her business. It's really weird.

Her make up business is likely a product based pyramid scheme. They all lie about how much money they make.

scottishdiem · 08/08/2017 12:09

So many people on here are enablers for children not to understand that some things are not their or even excusing parents for stealing something for their child to play with. Accusing the OP of being a millennial whilst raising entitled thieving brats is a tad hypocritical.

NikiBabe · 08/08/2017 12:16

The first most rule a child needs to learn is they cannot have everything they want.

The fact that the screen was coveredcin scratches suggests it was taken out of the ops bedroom and the child played it and dropped it multiple times.

If she has so much money from her fake business why doesn't she buy him one?

NikiBabe · 08/08/2017 12:17

My mum drives me crazy when she is round with my nephews. She sees everything I have as theirs to play with and Im mean for not giving them everything they want.

NikiBabe · 08/08/2017 12:22

Also find out if you are joint tenants. Because if you are you dont have to wait.

I found this on shelter.org.

Joint tenants are each jointly and individually responsible for paying the rent. If one tenant moves out without giving notice or doesn't pay their share of the rent, the other joint tenants are responsible for paying it for them.

You could literally walk out and leave her to cover your rent.

I would find somewhere with an ensuite and no children.

Moreisnnogedag · 08/08/2017 12:45

My ds is six - he knew that my iPad was mine and not to played with since i got it a couple of years ago. Now he's more responsible he knows that he has to ask before he's allowed on. To the poster who compared it to a starving man, don't be fucking ridiculous. Even a toddler would have a little tantrum at not being allowed something and then move on - that's the joys of parenting.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 08/08/2017 20:37

I didn't realise there was another issue about having a private bathroom. Apologies. No need to be offensive "not that it's any of your business" as one ignorant pp said, sorry why is it yours lol? I had read most of the thread but missed this.

MumsTheWordYouKnow · 08/08/2017 20:39

Hope you get it sorted OP as it doesn't sound ideal for you.

emmyrose2000 · 08/08/2017 21:32

Are there months when the other tenant doesn't pay her share of the internet? If so, I'd cut off her internet for that month. Ask for prepayment up front each month if she wants to use it. There's no way I'd be subsiding her after this recent stunt with the console.

WellThisIsShit · 08/08/2017 22:09

Sorry OP I see she's not your landlady, took so long to write my post that I missed yours clearly saying that

I also had a typo in my post, and included a random 'abdul' in my text. Poor Abdul is not to blame for this situation, I besmirch his name!

Check out your tenancy contract and rights / responsibilities before you do anything, that way you don't risk getting into an even worse situation if you need to rub along with this woman for ages longer.

And have another go at the uni to help, even if they aren't being terribly useful right now they may come up with something if you are nice but persistent.

I'm just wondering if you could apply for PiP (what was DLA), as your conditions are having a really big effect on your life.

This isn't a quick fix but if you managed to get a bit more money from a pip award maybe you would be able to afford an ensuite in halls? It's tough to get but worth trying... I'd also look at getting that cover all IBS label altered as it's not doing justice to how bad it is for you. Even an 'unexplained xxx' might be better? Anyway, just thinking aloud...

Willow2017 · 08/08/2017 23:57

If she isnt paying her share of the internet then she shouldnt be using it!

Her business must be crap if she cant afford £15 a month.

If its a MLM scheme tell her to cut her loses and get a proper job you shouldnt be subsidising her.

supermoon100 · 09/08/2017 00:06

Of course the child is in the wrong but to describe it as a 'bloody kid' in your title is not great. You need to live move out and live with adults

HeebieJeebies456 · 09/08/2017 04:00

She does pay towards the internet but she seems to be out of money to pay the £15 it costs monthly

She's blatantly taking you for a mug/doormat.
Perhaps she needs to get an ACTUAL paying job if she can't 'afford' the internet?

DON'T give her access to your router or the passwords etc to reset it.

She seems to have developed a 'you owe me' complex towards you!

HeebieJeebies456 · 09/08/2017 04:03

As i said before, look into getting a small studio flat/bedsit type accommodation where you have access to your own private bathroom.

WinnieTheMe · 09/08/2017 04:36

I am sort of hoping all the people claiming that you shouldn't live with children unless you're willing to share your stuff/not use the word 'kid' (?!)/take on some kind of caregiver role need a lodger/flatmate one day. I'm imagining the advert and getting fits of the giggles.

supermoon100 · 09/08/2017 04:39

'Kid' is fine, 'bloody kid' is not.

pictish · 09/08/2017 08:51

She's not talking about your bloody kid. Chill out.

Willow2017 · 09/08/2017 10:23

She didn't say 'bloody kid ' to their face she said it on here to let off steam. I would be bloody annoyed at someones kid if they had broken something of mine too. It's not like she best the kid black and blue for goodness sake. 'Bloody kid' is hardly doing anyone any harm. Seriously!

kali110 · 09/08/2017 10:36

She does pay towards the internet but she seems to be out of money to pay the £15 it costs monthly
Op if she isn't paying you for the internet dont give her the password!
If she needs it for the business she'll soon start paying you!
Just change the password every month.
She's taking the piss!

Urubu · 09/08/2017 20:07

An idea, stop asking for the 15£/m and then she can't ask not to lock your room. Continue to let her use the internet so she thinks it is a good deal.
You shouldn't have to do it, not at all, but this solution ends the problem in a non-stressful way. Unfair but if she doesn't pay the 15£ anyway it doesn't make much of a difference to you.

HeebieJeebies456 · 09/08/2017 22:48

The difference it makes is that the housemate is getting entitled.
To the point of taking something out of her room and giving it to her kid....apparently what's hers is theirs even if she says 'no' - or requests a contribution!

Changing the password and locking her door are the only way to deal with this kind of brass neck.

OP, on my computer i've got an option to block the internet to certain devices, or i can set the time it's available on that device.
Check your settings to see if you can do similar.
That way you can control if/when/how long she can use the internet

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Swipe left for the next trending thread