...to think that she should pay for a new switch and get her bloody kid one too?

[nikiforov]

Quick backstory: I live with some friends who are parents, nowhere to fit a TV in my room (I got the downstairs smaller one because I'm not a parent and we rent the house together, I'm not a tagalong or anything). I knew living with a kid would be odd and I'm childfree but we agreed at the start that I wasn't a free babysitter, I'm a student and I need my own space, et cetera - usually I leave my door unlocked because we all trust each other and the router is in my bedroom due to it being the only place with router access, so it's awkward if I'm at uni and the internet goes down.

I also have a nintendo switch in my bedroom, which is mine and mine only. Her kid is 6 now, so he's old enough to play it and she's been bringing up the subject more and more hinting that I'm being selfish by not letting him play it and she can't afford one, I can afford more because I'm a student and she cooks meals for us (she doesn't cook meals for me, I buy my own food and make meals myself because I'm a vegan and they're meat eaters so that's a lie) and anyway, push came to shove and she let the kid use the switch without my permission today. The screen is scratched to hell.

WIBU to demand she buys me a new one after damaging my property? Or am I being a stingy childfree bitch? I don't want to take it to some shady place to get a new screen fitted, which would void my warranty completely, but this would also be classed under not damaged enough for a replacement/fix or sort of 'it's your own fault' damage. Moving out isn't really an option until the lease runs out and I honestly didn't have much choice. It was this or halls, and halls is infinitely more expensive and I wouldn't have had my own private bathroom.

I don't know what a switch is but if it's that valuable put it somewhere safe. Erm, yeah. Like your own private bedroom.

Scratched in an annoying cosmetic way or scratched as in seriously damaged? If the latter, then ask her to pay for repair if you specifically said the child couldn't play with it.

I have a 6 year old and would NEVER NEVER let her play with someone else's expensive stuff. Even if they gave permission! She should have known better and anyway letting a 6 year old pay on a nintendo is a massive parenting mistake no matter who it belongs to.

Gaming does not equal immature. My DH and I are avid gamers. Also we are as mature as can be. It's better than going to the pub and screeching.

learn to share your stuff?

I can't see why she should have to

Some parents think Nintendos etc are toys and therefore always suitable for children to play with. They are not toys, they are expensive pieces of kit that need special care!

Let us know how you get on OP and do not back down on her paying for a repair/replacement.

You shouldn't be paying the same rent if there's only one of you imo and don't obviously know personal circumstances but she possibly gets help with her rent!

On the ibs comment, I have crohns disease which has similar symptoms. I have found that acidophilous and turmeric with pepper really helps. Also I avoid nuts, seeds, high fibre, skin, spicy food

YANBU. I'd be tempted to say you'll be paying less towards bills/rent so that you can afford to fix or replace it, and see what she does then!

As person has ignored your privacy in allowing her child to access your room she should repair any damage. However you may have problem establishing her son scratched the screen. No doubt she will plead it could have been like that prior to son using. Unless you can prove this you are on a sticky wicket. For the future lock your room. Too bad if router goes down when you aren't there, every action has a consequence child should not have been using your equipment. Hence the now restricted access.

Sounds like you need to move into normal student accommodation and suck up sharing a bathroom and learn to clean! However, this woman should pay for a replacement screen, that will teach her not to behave like a child taking other people's things without asking!

No YANBU. I would be mortified if my child did that. She should pay. I would look for somewhere new as soon as lease runs out. You are better living with other students. Why are you sharing with someone with a child? It must be strange for the child having an adult in the house they are not related to.

Are you joint tenants or are you their lodger?

I would lock my bedroom. If the internet goes down and they have to wait, oh well - that's the consequences of letting their kid damage your property.

Also, haha at MargaretTwatyer advising people how to be nice. Her username is apt.

Bloody hell, I have opiates and controlled meds in my bedroom - going by some of the pps on here, if said child had come into my room without permission and either taken - or been given - said drugs, I suppose that would be my fault for "not sharing"?

It's the OP's room and her private property. Neither the child nor child's parent should have entered her bedroom without permission, let alone used and damaged the console. Bang out of order.

Op, YANBU. The parent needs to pay for the repair, and you need to lock your room when not in. 💐

I think she should pay for the damage. Maybe not a brand new one but at least to have the screen replaced by Nintendo or a recommended company by Nintendo.

^ this

Some peeps are going a bit far with the 'small claims court'

She can use the wifi connection, no need to touch your router.
I'd ask her to pay for repairs first
If it can't be saved then a replacement - but don't give her/ds the old one.
Sell it and put the money towards your new tenancy.

I'm just mad in general and mad at the lack of boundaries
I'm paying the same rent as them and it was on a shelf in my bedroom

So issues have been bubbling under the surface?
I think now would be a good a time as any to start looking and saving towards a new place.
A 'studio' flat maybe? Everything is reaching distance

How do you sort your share of bills/ct etc?
If ds has his own room then hsemate should be paying for 2 bedrooms.
Does hsmate pay 50% towards internet?
It's no wonder you can't afford to move out if you're paying more than your share

OP said 'friends' - is this a single mum and her DS, or mum, dad and DS sharing with you, OP? If you are sharing with a couple and a child, unfortunately there is a likelihood that they consider it their 'family home' and you as a lodger who is less important than the Family Unit, hence them behaving as though their child has a right to your stuff.
It doesn't sound like an arrangement that's going to work very well in the long run, unfortunately.

YANBU. There is no abiguity here. The child and responsible parent knew they were not to use your Switch. You don't need to share your brand new expensive gift, you are not child siblings squabbling over a toy. It is yours and was in your private room. Because you live in the same house, they don't see your space as yours alone, like they would a next door neighbour. They should pay for your screen to be replaced. You should now have your door locked when you are out as they can't be trusted!

Ok just weighing in as a fellow gamer and also parents of 2 DCs aged 8 1/2 and 5. I have always gamed and always had consoles and computers. I'm also an adult who has worked the majority of the time since I was 16 and never been on benefits and am happily married if that makes a difference. Anyway off topic a bit there.

YANBU to be extremely annoyed about it and serious words should be had. I wouldn't let my children have a switch. My 8 year old and 5 year d are allowed to use our old Xbox 360 but they are not allowed to use the newer consoles. They have a DS each and are not allowed to touch the switch. Children no matter how good they are, do not understand the concept of technology not being just any toy they can leave lying around etc nor how much money technology actually costs. Nor should they have to until they are older I suppose. But I don't have a large excess income and don't buy things on credit so there's no way I'm letting a child, even my own child use things that are worth hundreds of pounds because accidents happen. I wouldn't let them touch my smartphone either. They are allowed their own cheaper older technology so that they don't feel that they are missing out. If this child's mother can't afford a switch she could afford an older cheaper console like a Nintendo wii or a handheld like a DS and get him age appropriate games too. I don't think OP is mean for not letting the child play it at all. If the mum had clearly asked "would you mind letting xxx have a quick go please? Only while you watch and supervise him of course" or something then maybe letting him have a go would have been a nice gesture but the woman didn't say that she just hinted and implied that OP was selfish for not automatically allowing a 6 year old use her expensive console and then after OP said no just keeps herself.

Millennial, I'm guessing.

Old bitter person, I'm guessing.

Whatever the OP pays for the rent has nothing to do with the issue. Just as her health issue or the reason why she is sharing a house with a young family.

The point is that when you are sharing a house, some rooms have strong boundaries. Going into the bedroom of another flat mate is NOT acceptable. And so is using stuff that isn't yours.

The object that has been damaged was on a shelf where the 6yo couldn't have got wo help. That means the mother got it, not the child. There is no 'temptation was too big for the 6yo' going on there.
Besides, even if the child had got the switch, then the mother should have supervised the child enough to realise they had taken something that wasn't theirs and to put it back at its place. And certainly, she should have been able to do that BEFORE any damage had been done.

Whatever the OP pays for the rent has nothing to do with the issue.

It is, actually. It's much, much easier for her to move out if she's a lodger as opposed to a joint tenant.

YANBU

Get a lock for your room - no right to allow a 6 year old child to use your things without asking.

HadronCollider - I know what you mean about people being a bit me oriented and I have often despaired reading comments on here about not owing people anything so don't be friendly if you don't want etc. But this to me is completely different. Children desperately need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, not enough are taught it in my opinion. I love kids, always been a mumsy type person but I cannot bare it when kids go around thinking they can ignore being told no if they want it, it shows a total lack of respect. I remember being a 6 year old and wanting things I couldn't have, it wasn't horrible because I understand I couldn't have everything. I also have a 6 year old and he wouldn't dream of going into someone's room and helping himself to their things! Whatever your thoughts on the item, it was something special to the OP and she shouldn't feel guilty for not wanting a child to touch it. In our house we mainly go by a 'what's mine is yours' type thing but there are some exceptions, some things are 'my precious things' and they are out of bounds, and that's with my own kids, not even a friend's

Lock room today and start looking for another place tomorrow. Anything is better than having your private space invaded. Who knows under what other circumstances they may decide to enter again?
Poor you.