...to think that she should pay for a new switch and get her bloody kid one too?

[nikiforov]

Quick backstory: I live with some friends who are parents, nowhere to fit a TV in my room (I got the downstairs smaller one because I'm not a parent and we rent the house together, I'm not a tagalong or anything). I knew living with a kid would be odd and I'm childfree but we agreed at the start that I wasn't a free babysitter, I'm a student and I need my own space, et cetera - usually I leave my door unlocked because we all trust each other and the router is in my bedroom due to it being the only place with router access, so it's awkward if I'm at uni and the internet goes down.

I also have a nintendo switch in my bedroom, which is mine and mine only. Her kid is 6 now, so he's old enough to play it and she's been bringing up the subject more and more hinting that I'm being selfish by not letting him play it and she can't afford one, I can afford more because I'm a student and she cooks meals for us (she doesn't cook meals for me, I buy my own food and make meals myself because I'm a vegan and they're meat eaters so that's a lie) and anyway, push came to shove and she let the kid use the switch without my permission today. The screen is scratched to hell.

WIBU to demand she buys me a new one after damaging my property? Or am I being a stingy childfree bitch? I don't want to take it to some shady place to get a new screen fitted, which would void my warranty completely, but this would also be classed under not damaged enough for a replacement/fix or sort of 'it's your own fault' damage. Moving out isn't really an option until the lease runs out and I honestly didn't have much choice. It was this or halls, and halls is infinitely more expensive and I wouldn't have had my own private bathroom.

TheMaddHugger - The book is A Light In The Attic by Shel Silverstein.

It's a lovely book, with excellent illustrations, and I was given it when I was about six years old, and had never seen a book like it before.

I think every child should have a copy. Just not my copy.

Can you set a lockable password on a switch? Also put your stuff in a locked draw

I'm very curious why I should learn to clean - where did I ever say I didn't?

She's not a single mum, but partner doesn't live with us. It's a bit of a weird situation overall and she does pay for two rooms - it was cheap in comparison because I would be living with a "family unit" and they were willing to sacrifice the downstairs bathroom to have the upstairs to themselves, save for the shower room. It's not an en suite, but at this point in my mental health it's not a case of being a weak little milennial who doesn't want to share her space, it's a case of "if somebody I'm sharing a bathroom with gets sick I will literally shut down and stop eating".

We signed a tenancy together so I'm guessing I'm a joint tenant? She's agreed to pay for a replacement screen if nintendo don't replace it for free. I won't charge her for that if it is free, but if it is we've agreed she'll buy me a screen protector.

She's not happy about the internet being locked away though and claims I'm going to be causing issues with her makeup selling business, and I feel bad but it's not my problem if it's a fault that can't be solved by remote reset. If this continues to go badly I'll be forced to look into moving out before uni starts but I don't know how I'll find a replacement tenant.

Her partner visits occasionally but I think he works in london and it's too expensive for her & the kid to live there but I honestly don't know and don't pry into their business too much.

Can you not get a longer lead for the router so that the box can be positioned outside your room?

I can hardly believe that people are saying the OP should share an expensive console with a 6 yr old who is not hers, and that going into someone elses room, taking thier property off a high shelf and giving it to a 6 yr old to play with is acceptable!

Seriously by all the arguments here if my kid gets a new bike then he shouldnt take it outside in case some other kid hasnt got one and wants it! That if he goes to another kids house and they have something he doesnt then they HAVE to let him play with it. Nope life doesnt revolve around that womans 6 yr old nor any other kid. When and how do they learn that they cant have everything they see when their parents quite happily steal something and hope they dont get caught out/nobody will notice when their precious kid has damaged someone elses property? The mum was expressly told that the kid was not to have it yet she took it and let her kid play unsuprevised and they damaged it. A shitty thing to do by a kid never mind an enabling adult. She didnt even have the guts to own up about it.

It was pretty obvious when the op went back to her room and the console was not only scratched but not back in its charger that the mum had gone and taken it. Why does this seem to be difficult to understand by some people questioning how the op knew it was not her/charger that scratched it.

I am glad the op is being refunded if necessary and that from now on her door will be locked. Its a sad state of affairs when adults dont get the concept of kids not getting other peoples expensive tech 'just cos they want it'.

She's not happy about the internet being locked away though and claims I'm going to be causing issues with her makeup selling business, and I feel bad but it's not my problem if it's a fault that can't be solved by remote reset.

A situation which could have been easily avoided if she hadn't let her kid trash your stuff.

My 4yo occasionally gets up earlier than us and sneaks downstairs. He plays with his toys and tablet and puts on CBeebies. He doesn't touch dh's laptop, or my tablet, or the TV (other than the remote) because, y'know, respect

I don't know what a switch is but if it's that valuable put it somewhere safe, you know there's a child in the house and I assume you are getting cheap rent. Or learn to share your stuff

It should have been safe in the room she pays for!
It should have been safe on a high shlef where the kid couldnt reach it!
It should have been safe as she pays rent for the room, her room, private room.

It should have been safe as she expressly told the mum that the kid wasnt to get it as it was expensive.

But it wasnt as the mum went in and took it for her precious kid!

And assuming much about the rent?

Posted too soon.

And why the hell should she share something she bought for her own use? Its a 6yr old kid, its not a toy she has its a console. Kids dont get everything they want its a fact of life.

Should I share something I bought for myself with some kid just because I have it and they dont cos their parents havent bought them one?

YANBU

Firstly, she shoudnt have let child use it and secondly she should pay for repairs.

I mean if you're worried about sharing a bathroom you need to be prepared to clean it if that's what putting you off. However, if not just buy a lock. Living in student accommodation is pretty distracting as there's too much fun to be had. You need to be more clear about boundaries or just get a longer wire so you can put the router elsewhere and lock the door.

Oh ffs, all these nit-pickers missing the bloody point! This is not about the OP's living choices. There should be nothing wrong with why she lives where she lives or with whom she lives. THAT WAS NOT WHAT SHE ASKED.
Her flatmate is out-of-line and the OP did nothing wrong.

I mean if you're worried about sharing a bathroom you need to be prepared to clean it if that's what putting you off

No, that's not the reason...RTFT!!!

I mean if you're worried about sharing a bathroom you need to be prepared to clean it if that's what putting you off.

Not that it's any of our business but if you'd bothered to read the thread you'd realise it's because she might shit herself if she had to wait

I'm going to be causing issues with her makeup selling business

Is she part of a multi level management company aka as a pyramid scheme?

I had similar arguments with my sister when she allowed her children to ransack my flat when I wasnt there, take my precious childhood toys and take one or two of them out and lose them, take my dvds home that were suitable for children. When I was there she thought I was nasty for telling them not to take my things as and when they chose and tell them off it.

Fuck her, keep the door locked. She can get a real job and quit the pyramid scheme.

Hygge

She would not accept that she had done anything wrong because "It's a kids book, you're an adult, they're kids!" Or, its my book, I had saved it for years because I loved it, it wasn't her bloody book to take and ruin or give away.

My mother is the same. She allows my sisters kids to take what they want of mine and they have actually taken out and lost a childhood toy of mine Ive had for 30 years.

My mum said I wasnt playing with it and to get a grip. What woman in her 30s does play with toys ffs?! It a toy of huge sentimental value and my sisters kids already have too many toys and they want everything of mine too.

It drives me crazy when my things are treated as a grab bag for someone elses spoilt and selfish badly behaved disrespectful children and their parents.

Sounds like you need to move into normal student accommodation and suck up sharing a bathroom and learn to clean!

Did you even read past the first post?

OP - does she pay 50% for the internet?
If not then she's got no right to complain.

Not sure why the comment is needed about not being mature about the child? The FACT is the mother should NEVER have allowed her child to go into someone else's room without that persons permission. To then cause damage is completely unacceptable. I wouldn't bother with asking her (the mother) to fix it but as others sensibly say Do lock your door always!!!! Don't leave the key as it sounds like the mother is the one without respect - I would get out as quick as possible. In my opinion it's not living with a kid that's the problem it's the behaviour management of the child by the mother!! Good Luck x

I haven't read all replies. But phone Nintendo. I found them so helpful. We had an Xbox that started burning lines onto the disc. It was one week over the warranty and they weren't helpful. But Nintendo seem so much nicer. We bought a second hand Wii U from a friend. After a couple of weeks the screen stopped working properly. I spoke to Nintendo. They had it back. Repaired it for nothing (it was over the year warranty) they sent it back with another years free warranty included. I was impressed by their customer care. Unlike Microsoft who own Xbox. They charged £117 to repair.

Oh and if it was my child I'd be upset and get it repaired.

It doesn't matter how much damage has been done. She trespassed into YOUR area to let HER kid use YOUR possession. That's trespass and theft.

Of course she should rectify the damage by either repair or replacement.

Start locking your door!

You're not being even vaguely U. Bloody entitled parent needs to pay for screen repair.

It is a hard situation as obviously you don't want to fall out. I have lived with friends in the past and it can be a bloody nightmare! Can you sit down with her and say "I'm sorry to bring this up, but X has been in my room and damaged my switch. Could you have a word with him about respecting my stuff?" As much as she should pay for the repair, it is probably worth just taking the hit if it's not too much rather than dealing with the hostility if you go in guns blazing. Hopefully you can set some boundaries without upsetting your living situation.

I think you need to get your uni involved somehow, is there a college welfare department or anything?

You're really trapped between a rock and a hard place as you can't afford en suite so have had to compromise initially with an agreement that sounded like a fair compromise for all parties, but has rapidly descended into an unfair compromise due to boundary issues, ability to lock doors and enforce those boundaries... Abdul a rapidly deteriorating landlady (?) relationship.

Your uni may be able to help or suggest alternatives as I think you're going to end up very unhappy there if the landlady person keeps up her behaviour and the relationship becomes irretrievable.

I'd also push again on the 'health grounds' aspect, and what might be done with that now you find yourself in this situation (people may be able to be more flexible now if they're able).

I'm sorry you are in this situation.

Btw I have a very newly turned 7 yr old and he wouldn't dream of behaving like this... but I've taught him to respect other people's belongings, including mine and his own. I have a feeling this little chap hasn't had the same teaching! With young children it takes a long time for them to get the hang of certain things, so it's different from saying 'you must x' and they do it, as you'd expect an adult to be able to do. But... this is not your fault and the parent should modify their behaviour so you aren't affected by her child. That's what good parents do! But if she's never bothered to teach her child that he can't have everything he wants by taking it, well, it will take him a lot longer to learn (if he ever does), compared to children who've had years of positive reinforcement from their parents. Sorry, hard not to sound a wee but sanctimonious using myself as an example, so ignore that tinge of sanctimony, it's not meant (!). I think most parents teach these basics to their children as part of daily life even if not consciously. It really is the adults fault in your situation, not the child's. Sounds like the adult has a grabby sense of false entitlement and that's who the kid has as a role model. Which is what you're running up against.

And NO it isn't like waving sweets under the child's nose or eating in front of a starving man etc! And the OP certainly didn't 'ask for it', sly bit of victim blaming there.

Children learn from an extremely early age that there are some things they cannot have and that there is a difference between sharing in their family, and the way you behave to adults outside your family. Eg a toddler may try and grab an iPad from the stranger in the next seat (That was an awkward plane journey I can tell you! Poor man was very nice about it but looked harried around the eyes, and I did everything I could to minimize my toddlers impact on his journey). But by 6yrs old I'd expect no such behaviour... because children learn. Likewise DS doesn't touch my mobile phone, because he knows it's not for him, full stop. It doesn't torture him to see me carrying it around and (gasp), using it in front of him. I know DS would love to play on my phone but he doesn't because it's for grown ups. Likewise all my technology is either completely off limits or has very clear rules about permission and behavior e.g. iPad every Saturday for 20 mins. But no to my laptop at any time etc.

And DS isn't some poor tortured soul because he can't grab anything he wants from adults around him.

Nickiforov I know that when my daughter was six she and all her friends were perfectly capable of understanding right/wrong, fair/unfair and respect for others' property. I taught her to ask if she wanted to use something belinging to someone else and that sometimes she will be told 'no' and that's ok. She and her friends always accepted that. So as your housemate clearly doesn't think like this you are perfectly within your rights to talk to the child yourself. Just make the conversation age-appropriate.