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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that she should pay for a new switch and get her bloody kid one too?

227 replies

nikiforov · 06/08/2017 03:06

Quick backstory: I live with some friends who are parents, nowhere to fit a TV in my room (I got the downstairs smaller one because I'm not a parent and we rent the house together, I'm not a tagalong or anything). I knew living with a kid would be odd and I'm childfree but we agreed at the start that I wasn't a free babysitter, I'm a student and I need my own space, et cetera - usually I leave my door unlocked because we all trust each other and the router is in my bedroom due to it being the only place with router access, so it's awkward if I'm at uni and the internet goes down.

I also have a nintendo switch in my bedroom, which is mine and mine only. Her kid is 6 now, so he's old enough to play it and she's been bringing up the subject more and more hinting that I'm being selfish by not letting him play it and she can't afford one, I can afford more because I'm a student and she cooks meals for us (she doesn't cook meals for me, I buy my own food and make meals myself because I'm a vegan and they're meat eaters so that's a lie) and anyway, push came to shove and she let the kid use the switch without my permission today. The screen is scratched to hell.

WIBU to demand she buys me a new one after damaging my property? Or am I being a stingy childfree bitch? I don't want to take it to some shady place to get a new screen fitted, which would void my warranty completely, but this would also be classed under not damaged enough for a replacement/fix or sort of 'it's your own fault' damage. Moving out isn't really an option until the lease runs out and I honestly didn't have much choice. It was this or halls, and halls is infinitely more expensive and I wouldn't have had my own private bathroom.

OP posts:
pictish · 06/08/2017 12:38

"I hate to say it, but I think most (nice) people would have realised that it wouldn't be a good idea to play with a games console you won't share in front of a small child. That's like putting food just out of reach of a starving man."

No it's not. Stop being silly.

Tofutti · 06/08/2017 15:39

When will you talk to them, Op?

Betsyboo87 · 06/08/2017 16:00

Not sure if this has been mentioned but switches are sold out everywhere worldwide. Have been for months so restock will likely fly of the shelves and you wouldn't get a replacement for ages. Say you'll get a quote for a replacement screen and ask her to pay. YANBU

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 16:06

"I hate to say it, but I think most (nice) people would have realised that it wouldn't be a good idea to play with a games console you won't share in front of a small child. That's like putting food just out of reach of a starving man."

What utter twaddle, in that case is it the car owner's fault if their car gets stolen? After all it's not the thief's fault that they can't afford a car.

It's a crap example but you get my point.

MargaretTwatyer · 06/08/2017 16:15

What utter twaddle, in that case is it the car owner's fault if their car gets stolen? After all it's not the thief's fault that they can't afford a car.

Now that is twaddle. Comparing the reasoning skills of a six year old to an adult who steals a car is laughable.

I think most decent people would realise that for a six year old to see someone walking around with a toy that they really, really want but are never allowed to play with is a very, very hard thing for a six to deal with.

And I did say most nice people would understand it. Which would obviously rule out a lot of Mumsnet posters innit. :p

JigglyTuff · 06/08/2017 16:18

Who says the OP is walking around with it? She says it's in her room

worridmum · 06/08/2017 16:19

Tbh i would of been uttly pissed of about this and i would actully demend that she ether replace it or pay for repairs if she refused alot of her expesive stuff would be damaged

Be it accidently scratchs to her car or her tv or whatever she valued, while i would lose the moral high ground it would make me feel so much better.

Why do alot of mumsneters thing gaming = immuture while most gamers are 30+? why is gaming as a hobby worse then watch soaps like eastenders? or over such programs or going to the cinema?

worridmum · 06/08/2017 16:20

A console is not a TOY ffs there it is again with thinking gaming is for children a console is in so much a toy as a tv or laptop is?

thatdearoctopus · 06/08/2017 16:26

Apt username there, Margaret. Hmm

At least your attitude goes part-way to explaining why there are so many entitled kids out there for the rest of us to clear up after.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 16:29

I think most decent people would realise that for a six year old to see someone walking around with a toy that they really, really want but are never allowed to play with is a very, very hard thing for a six to deal with.

The console is in the OP's room, it belongs to her - nobody else and she is well within her rights to not let the kid use it.

Mumof56 · 06/08/2017 16:32

YANBU

Start locking your room & ask for a replacement. The cheek.

Huffletuff · 06/08/2017 16:33

Hard thing for a six year old to deal with or not, he has to deal with it because it doesn't belong to him. Like a lot of things in life.

BoomBoomsCousin · 06/08/2017 16:36

I can understand a 6 year old would want to play on something like a switch. That doesn't mean he gets to though nor does it mean the OP can't have anything expensive a 6 year old might like. It means keeping it in her room, not leaving it in the 6 year olds room. And it means the 6 year olds mum supervising properly and being very clear with he 6 year old that he isn't allowed in the OP's room.

Technically the OP may be able to take her housemate to small claims court for the cost of repairs, since damage done by poorly supervised children is generally the parents' responsibility. Not sure if claims for damage can go through small claims, but in any case taking your housemate to court is usually a last resort and a sure signifies you won't be continuing to live with them.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2017 16:40

I think most decent people would realise that for a six year old to see someone walking around with a toy that they really, really want but are never allowed to play with is a very, very hard thing for a six to deal with

And that's where that magical person called "a parent" comes in. To help said 6 year old through life's little disappointments and to maybe, you know, explain that the world doesn't revolve around them and it is ok for other people to have things and we can't always have them.

Valuable life lesson. "Innit" Confused

BoysofMelody · 06/08/2017 16:41

Absolutely loathe people who say gamers are immature, like they're some superior being sat on their pedestal of bore.

Agreed, I have no interest in computer games, but plenty of people do. It is no less 'immature' than watching TV or reading a book or magazine or a heap of other things people do during their leisure time. It is also a lot more mature than spending your free time o say an internet forum, making snarky comments to a complete stranger about playing computer games.

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2017 16:41

Oh and a console isn't a toy Margaret.

HTH

CustardLover · 06/08/2017 16:47

I have skim-read the full thread but haven't seen whether the OP has actually spoken to her housemate about this - how do you know the DS used the console?

HadronCollider · 06/08/2017 16:49

I think this whole thing could have been avoided if you had volunteered to share playing the switch for an hour with the 6 year old on the odd occasion when you were around and not busy. That would have been a nice thing to do. I can remember as a child being forced to go to my very strict godmother's house with instructions not to touch any of her dolls. it was horrible. Sure I learned 'respect' but I also learned it's good to for adults to try and retain their memory of what it's like to be a child. You might as well have put a giant bag of Haribo on the table, left your door open and said 'don't touch'. Asking for it really.

But I agree the mother should pay to replace the screen. You can send it back to Nintendo for repairs and they'll send you a bill.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 16:51

I think this whole thing could have been avoided if you had volunteered to share playing the switch for an hour with the 6 year old on the odd occasion when you were around and not busy. That would have been a nice thing to do. I can remember as a child being forced to go to my very strict godmother's house with instructions not to touch any of her dolls. it was horrible. Sure I learned 'respect' but I also learned it's good to for adults to try and retain their memory of what it's like to be a child. You might as well have put a giant bag of Haribo on the table, left your door open and said 'don't touch'. Asking for it really.

Why should she have to?

EggysMom · 06/08/2017 16:54

I'd compromise by getting an official screen repair but with the friend footing the bill for that repair.

Going forwards (presuming that you have to maintain some semblance of a relationship due to the housing situation), I would suggest a lock for the door of your room; but leave the key accessible on a very high hook. That way the child cannot access the room but, if router access is required, a responsible adult can enter and reset the router before locking up again. And I would make damned sure that the adults understand that arrangement.

eddielizzard · 06/08/2017 16:55

i think it's better to have a blanket rule that the child doesn't touch your stuff. start with supervising play and pdq the child is on it all the time or pestering you.

of course you're nbu, have you asked the mum whether she got it down for him?

JacquesHammer · 06/08/2017 16:57

Asking for it really

Nice victim blaming there

Peach9876 · 06/08/2017 16:59

What if rather than a tenant in the house the OP was a neighbour and had lets say a nice new shiney bike/scooter/whatever in order for her to get to work and the kid had gone into OP's shed and tried to ride it, scratching it all up? Would that make a difference?

It's like everyone saying the OP is a big meany because she lives with this random kid, who she's never taken any responsibility for and is expected to spend part of her time relaxing showing him how to use her possessions.
Yes it would be nice for the kid to have a good relationship with OP. It would be nice of OP to sit and let the kid play with her stuff. Just like it would be nice of a neighbour to do the same. Just because they are in the same vicinity doesn't make it a must, or in fact any sort of expectation or any less wrong that the either the kid or the parent stole borrowed and damaged her possession.

OP if you're still around, is the switch actually any good? I've heard it's battery life sucks as a handheld and it's naff as a proper console. The price has put me off so far.

LT1927 · 06/08/2017 17:08

@HadronCollider I don't see why OP should have to, they aren't related to the child in any way and what is hers is hers! Completely inappropriate for the mother to go into HER ROOM in the house which she pays for and help herself to the OP's possessions.

CockacidalManiac · 06/08/2017 17:13

What makes mumsnetting any more worthy and/or mature than gaming? Please explain that comment.

That's a very good point.

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