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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Get these people out of my house!!

116 replies

NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:05

We moved in yesterday. Had a 1st bday party for my dd today (I know, we're crazy). Still it was all fine. Party invite said 1pm, we served food (BBQ) about half 1-2 and then did cake at 3 and people started to peel off.
PIL still here because their friend (my DH's "auntie") JUST SHOWED UP at 5.45!!!
She rang my MIL at 5ish - in the background we said no she can't come now, it's late, we're tired and about to our dd to bed (I'm feeding her now as part of bedtime, hence I'm typing). They showed up anyway! They brought wine with them and are sat drinking it!
AIBU to be pissed off? How do I make them leave? I have already told them a couple of times we're very tired so it'll have to be a flying visit. They don't seem to get it?
I just want a bath and my pjs 😔😫

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 05/08/2017 18:07

Go and get in the bath and leave your DH to deal with it. His family, his problem!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 05/08/2017 18:07

What does your DH say?! Why isn't he all over this?

Yanbu. Hope the move and party went well!

GreenTulips · 05/08/2017 18:08

Go in the bath and put your pjs on - you deserve a medal - Whay are people so bloody rude!! What She dH doing?

IdentifiesAsASloth · 05/08/2017 18:08

Can you not just say that you are going to have to ask them to leave?

It might feel a bit cheeky but they are the ones being rude. They need telling straight as hints aren't working.

Bobbiepin · 05/08/2017 18:09

"Thank you for coming, lovely to see you. We're going to bed now so let me get your coat"

OR

Fuck off.

Your choice.

ToadsforJustice · 05/08/2017 18:10

^ this ^^

Namechangetempissue · 05/08/2017 18:13

Sorry, will have to round you up now, we are off to bed as the baby is tired and we are exhausted from the move. Thanks for coming, see you soon!
Firmly hand coats and usher out with smiles.

Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:14

DH said no they can't come, same as me, but they showed up anyway. I think he just feels like oh well, they're here now but I don't really know cause obvs I can't just discuss it with him in front of them.
I can hear them downstairs - I'm so annoyed. My MIL already thinks I'm a hard nosed bitch because she tried to give me 150 plastic pots "for the BBQ" that we have absolutely no use for a week before we moved when we were trying to pack and get rid of shit, not acquire more.
I guess I'm just going to have to tell them politely to leave. I like the bath and pjs idea but I want them out of my house so I can slump in front of the TV in peace. With DH - I've nearly seen him today. Grrrrrr

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 05/08/2017 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blazedandconfused · 05/08/2017 18:14

Thanks for coming, lovely to see you. We'll have to have you round another time when we're more settled in/ unpacked. I'll call you a cab.

Bye.

Upstairs to bath.

LagunaBubbles · 05/08/2017 18:15

What's so hard about just asking them to leave? Confused

Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:15

Just read the replies properly - good suggestions of how to put it, thank you. My favourite is "fuck off". 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:16

Laguna it is kind of hard. You really wouldn't find it at all awkward??

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:16

Right - dd is asleep. I'm going back downstairs to get rid of them. Wish me luck.

OP posts:
beeny · 05/08/2017 18:18

Goodluck

Pengggwn · 05/08/2017 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theresnonamesleft · 05/08/2017 18:21

Anyway thanks for coming. Nice to see everyone. Get their coats and go in the bath.
If their daft enough to still be there when you come down in your pj's. Acted surprised - did you forget something? Plonk your arse down, slob in front of the tv.

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 05/08/2017 18:25

Do what a host once did to my family when I was younger - just appear in the room with their coats over your arm and say, "Well, it was lovely to see you all, we must do it again some time, Goodbye!" And hold up the first coat for the owner to slip their arm into. They'll be so astonished they'll just go along with it and not stop to think, "Eh?" until they're outside wondering what on Earth happened!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 05/08/2017 18:39

Go and flick the light on and off, big smile and "right, time to go now, the kids are in bed and we need to christen this gaff, come on dh, it's your lucky night!"
Or just let dh deal with his rude cf rellies. (Cfr?)

AcrossthePond55 · 05/08/2017 18:40

You need a TV in the bedroom. DH had a friend like this. He was a lovely, lovely guy but just did not know when to leave. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and DH enjoyed his company so I would excuse myself to wash my hair and decamp to the bedroom to watch TV, read, and eat the snacks I'd stashed in my bureau. He probably thought I had a dirty hair phobia or something.

Slimthistime · 05/08/2017 18:40

Id tell them right, off you go, we did tell you not to come
While holding door open....

InvisibleKittenAttack · 05/08/2017 18:43

Good luck! Remember, they have been very rude, including MIL not telling the Aunt that she was too late. So you are free to be rude back, something like "OK, can you be going now? We are shattered after the party, which was finished nearly 4 hours ago now! Hope you understand Im not up for hosting twice in one day. We'll have to arrange something in advance next time that's convinent for all of us."

Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:45

Haha - these are great suggestions. They're gone.
I went down, said the baby's asleep and said "right, It was so lovely to see you - I just want to have a bath and get in my pjs now I'm knackered!" She said "oh don't mind us, get in your pjs anyway - I would!" So I sort of half laughing but also obviously meaning it said something like "I just want you all out of my kitchen now so we can relax!" Somehow that seemed to do it. I could see DH cringing.
After they left DH said he thought id been a bit rude but at least it did the trick. He asked if I would have been so blunt if it hadve been my family. Maybe he's right. We're fine though - he said he doesn't care, they're gone.
Dd had a great day. It's over. I'm knackered and my feet are up.
Thanks all, especially for the well dones, I needed those!!

OP posts:
RebornSlippy · 05/08/2017 18:46

It never ceases to amaze me how many people say they would just tell them to leave. I bet they're full of shit. Or if they are genuine, I'd imagine they have so few friends that this would never be an issue due to nobody calling around...

Sympathies, OP, they are either rude or oblivious, you know better than us. Howeve, where I come from, to ask family to leave would make you the topic of conversation for infinity! Whether this matters to you, of course, I don't know. Maybe you are as hardfaced as some other posters here?

Hope they go soon!

viques · 05/08/2017 18:47

thereisnoname no,no,no,don't get their coats and go in the bath, they will NEVER leave, not until the coats are dry anyway.

Have you tried giving them a party bag and a bit of cake wrapped in a party napkin?Always used to make me leave parties.......

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