Get these people out of my house!!

[NoPressureNoDiamonds]

We moved in yesterday. Had a 1st bday party for my dd today (I know, we're crazy). Still it was all fine. Party invite said 1pm, we served food (BBQ) about half 1-2 and then did cake at 3 and people started to peel off.
PIL still here because their friend (my DH's "auntie") JUST SHOWED UP at 5.45!!!
She rang my MIL at 5ish - in the background we said no she can't come now, it's late, we're tired and about to our dd to bed (I'm feeding her now as part of bedtime, hence I'm typing). They showed up anyway! They brought wine with them and are sat drinking it!
AIBU to be pissed off? How do I make them leave? I have already told them a couple of times we're very tired so it'll have to be a flying visit. They don't seem to get it?
I just want a bath and my pjs 😔😫

Wow, Reborn, I was fairly taken aback at the rudeness of the PILs' friends in turning up 4.5hrs late, but your posts have been even ruder. I really hope you don't talk to people IRL like that.

NoPressure - your poor MIL. She must have been so embarrassed by her friend. Most people would have taken putting the child - for whom the birthday party was held - to bed as the sign they really needed to go. Your MIL was probably trying not to be rude by saying 'of course it's fine to pop in' and then thought 'oh shit what do I do now?' when friend settled in with a bottle of wine!

Might be political to invite PILs round for a housewarming bottle of fizz to prove no hard feelings, and I bet your MIL says 'well done'!

Hopefully they do think you're hard and will think twice about outstaying their welcome next time! I had all this abroad with Greek rellies, many of whom now hate me. Suits me!

Well done to you I'm a bit late to this thread. My DB and soon to be exSIL plus 4xDC!!! were notorious for this would appear and my parents or ours usually a Sunday for " just popping in" oft 4 hrs later they'd still be sitting then the age old question what are you having for dinner. I work shifts so Sundays we try to sit down and have a decent dinner with our 2xDC it would be horrific all DC crying cause they're hungry and I'm freaking out because they would just sit and sit. Then if we did get takeout we'd have to pay!! Needless to say I'm more direct as I've got older they were bold so I am also. My poor DB now gets asked when visits what's your plans? When are you's leaving as I now have DC3

I don't think the op was rude I how she got rid of them.

They were bloody rude turning up in the first place when explicitly told not too and even then when you said you'll have to go now they still just sat there!!

Just go to bed.
It's outstandingly rude.
Your pil should have dealt with this. Not really "aunties" fault.

YOu did the right thing. I like people but not in large doses. As a family, we tend to agree timings in advance - eg we will cover over at X (we will always be on time of course), we will eat, we will go back to your place for abotu Y time and we all hope to be on our way at Z. that is not the way of many families -I accept that but that is how we are.

So when I feel tired and the time is up I usually say okay I think we will be off not and I just am assertivce over it. You did very well indeed.

Also if you l et these things go then that relative next time will continue to push and push and stay later and later. YOu have to be firm.

You are fortunate you are so popular. Some people are very lonely. Life is about family and good friends. But you must have been exhausted.

We had a large party for my DC 2&4 birthdays, lots of people, 40degrees outside so a mix of indoors and outdoors, food, drinks, cake and me 33 weeks pregnant. Party started at 230. I had to change my
Clothes once because I had sweated through my first outfit. By 930 there were still people there with their children even though I had put mine to bed. I had been on the go since the morning and I was spent so I brought the speaker indoors (and put it away) and hopped in the shower! I didn't throw on jammies though because there was still a load of cleaning to do but me with wet hair, huge bump, track suit pants and cleaning up seemed to finally do the job. On one hand I take it as a compliment that people were still having fun but on the other, even if I had been joining them in a few drinks I would have been DONE with the party by then!!!

I'd have got them all washing up!!

Would your DH like me to put him on the waiting list for a new back bone and pair of bollocks?

Put the baby to bed then go and join them for a class lol seriously you posted this at 6pm it's not like it's 10pm no biggie

I always have to get rid of people in these situations too. I am an introvert and although I love company I find it absolutely exhausting. Plus unexpected company is hard to deal with.
So I don't think you were rude at all, I think you were dead right. Hope you're sitting down with your feet up now

My husband has a very large family who also outstay their welcomes. As a result we now have party times. Eg 1-3 and as 3pm nears I start clearing up and handing out party bags. And as a pp said, I love company but find it exhausting and quite overwhelming to have so many people and their children in my house.

Yes, we have set "times". Lots of families don't so you just sensitively have to make people aware of it, particularly if the in laws are totally different. Once people know your rules it's fine. If smeone turns up very late you can say - oh dear, at least you have the last ten minutes but I am afraid we will all be packing up then. (That way they will learn their lesson and be on time next time)

Very recently we held a party at home for one of our children. Family member said their dc was at another party that day that had started earlier, and that it finished at the same time ours finished. I said what a shame they'll miss this party then. Child didn't come in the end.
Once I'm in 'lockdown' mode that's it and I hate unexpected visitors, they'll usually get a frosty reception.

I'll accommodate anyone and I'm a good host, but I need warning!

I'm the same whereas some families and cultures genuinely like open house even until late, no bed times, people in and out of the house and lots of people do love it. We all differ however. I could not live like that. It was bad enough today - call possibly 10am, then it was 11am and finally 11.30am... that was work and I was paid but even so the changing of the time wasn't great for the planning of my day.