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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Get these people out of my house!!

116 replies

NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:05

We moved in yesterday. Had a 1st bday party for my dd today (I know, we're crazy). Still it was all fine. Party invite said 1pm, we served food (BBQ) about half 1-2 and then did cake at 3 and people started to peel off.
PIL still here because their friend (my DH's "auntie") JUST SHOWED UP at 5.45!!!
She rang my MIL at 5ish - in the background we said no she can't come now, it's late, we're tired and about to our dd to bed (I'm feeding her now as part of bedtime, hence I'm typing). They showed up anyway! They brought wine with them and are sat drinking it!
AIBU to be pissed off? How do I make them leave? I have already told them a couple of times we're very tired so it'll have to be a flying visit. They don't seem to get it?
I just want a bath and my pjs 😔😫

OP posts:
RebornSlippy · 05/08/2017 18:47

So, strike my previous post. Yeah, I'm with your DH, you were rude. Your ears will be burning tonight!

slartibartfastsfjords · 05/08/2017 18:47

I bet you've ended up politely chatting with them OP, instead of turfing them out! My parents used to pretend to put me to bed because that made our inlaws go home (once i was about 6 I was in on the plan, knew i could come down once they left :-D), but yours don't seem to care if they actually have your company anyway?!

Hope you get them out soon OP.

peekyboo · 05/08/2017 18:48

Honestly though, you've just moved house and had a party and want some peace and quiet. Why would people think you want them sitting over you after all that?

Well done for getting them out!

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/08/2017 18:48

Have you done it yet? And does anyone have a shoe print on their arse??

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/08/2017 18:49

Oh good. Just seen they've gone.....

MeanAger · 05/08/2017 18:52

My mum's go to phrase is "I do love seeing you but I am just exhausted and have to send you home before I collapse on top of you"

At which point your DH can step and and back you up with "god yes, me too!"

Grin
MeanAger · 05/08/2017 18:52

Oh theyre gone! Happy days!

Pollydonia · 05/08/2017 18:52

Well done you - I didn't nip crap like this in the bud when my now adult DC were little , culminating in the row from hell after fil let himself into my house and woke me up after I'd come off a run of 6 night shifts. Angry

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 05/08/2017 18:53

YAY! Well done Diamonds.😄⭐️

viques · 05/08/2017 18:53

So they didn't have cake to take home, so that means there is cake left! smiles encouragingly.................

Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:53

Reborn - I was lovely as they were leaving (that in itself took a while) saying I'd love to see them for longer next time, if only they'd come earlier, thanks so much for popping in. But if the act of telling them to leave when they showed up 4.5 hours late is rude then yep, I'm rude and I don't honestly care - they're ruder.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:55

Viques there is SO MUCH CAKE left - come over! 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:57

By the way, DH just told me that he showed her round the garden while I was putting dd to bed and she complained that there was no food when they thought they were coming to a BBQ!! He said well there was 4 hours ago...

OP posts:
Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:58

Thank you sugar pie 😘

OP posts:
thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 05/08/2017 18:58

Your DH is a chicken. Calling you a bit rude when the uninvited guest clearly is as obtuse as a brick when it came to strong hints of 'fuck off now' Hmm

I'd leave him to clean/clear up. Enjoy putting your feet up 🍫🍷

Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 18:59

And thanks Polly - nipping in the bud is exactly right. There's been a lot of that since dd was born tbh, even though I've been with DH for 12 yrs and never had a prob before

OP posts:
RebornSlippy · 05/08/2017 19:00

"I don't honestly care". Well then, OP, no harm done. Savour your rudeness in all its glory and enjoy the pats on the back you'll get from others here (most of whom would never actually do what they've told you to do despite their bravado on an anonymous online forum).

Oh and don't imagine your platitudes on the way out the door will negate the bitching they're doing about you right about now! It won't. But again, you don't care so whatever, right?

Mission accomplished, so have a lovely evening!

Original poster
NoPressureNoDiamonds · 05/08/2017 19:01

Thatwould - he is a total chicken!! A lovely one though. Him cringing but also being glad I said it sums us up😂

OP posts:
cardibach · 05/08/2017 19:07

Reborn I agree I wouldn't have been able to do it, but I don't think there's anything rude about what the OP said.

RebornSlippy · 05/08/2017 19:10

Well then cardibach, pick an adjective! What way will the relatives describe it do you think? I'm gonna say rude will be among the lesser offensive ones! Then again, I'm putting myself in this situation and picturing my own family and friends. This would not go down well. At all. Difference being, unlike the OP, I'd care.

RandomDent · 05/08/2017 19:10

I would have been more abrupt if it was my side of the family, but they wouldn't mind. :)

PollyFlint · 05/08/2017 19:15

RebornSlippy - people turned up at the OP's house four and a half hours late, after they'd already been told it was too late because the party was over. They are the rude ones here.

What the OP said to get them to leave really wasn't rude in the slightest. I certainly wouldn't be offended by that - particularly not if I was fully aware that I'd arrived four and a half hours late to the home of someone who literally moved in yesterday and had a one-year-old to put to bed.

You seem quite sensitive about this. Have you been the unwanted guest in the past? It really sounds like you have.

Rinkydinkypink · 05/08/2017 19:18

You tidy up everything including their half filled wine glasses. You make yourself busy around them. You make sure their coats, a shoes and belongings I are right next to them. Your and ask them to move due to the tidying. When they stand up you say "that party lasted alot longer than planned. Thanks for coming, I'm sure we'll see you again soon!" Hand them their coats and shuffle them towards the door. Do not offer them any more drinks or food.Do not sit down until they have left.

Rinkydinkypink · 05/08/2017 19:18

You tidy up everything including their half filled wine glasses. You make yourself busy around them. You make sure their coats, a shoes and belongings I are right next to them. Your and ask them to move due to the tidying. When they stand up you say "that party lasted alot longer than planned. Thanks for coming, I'm sure we'll see you again soon!" Hand them their coats and shuffle them towards the door. Do not offer them any more drinks or food.Do not sit down until they have left.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 05/08/2017 19:18

What polly said

Well done op. Glad you got your evening back and have a good old relax Cake with possibly some Gin