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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset with work colleagues?

408 replies

PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 20:00

It was my last day in the office today. I'm now officially on maternity leave.

I'm very disappointed with what my colleagues arranged for my send off, though. They promised we would do something exciting. I was expecting a work baby shower (which would have been nice in addition to the one I got my friends to arrange), but we ended up just going to an Italian at lunch time.

I'm very upset. I won't be back at work for a year. I've been there for years and I expected something more. I didn't even get any gifts or a slice of a cake. All I got was one card shared from the office!

When work colleagues leave they get a massive send off with work lunches, gifts, cards & a night out. I'm not expecting a night out drinking given my condition, but I wanted something more.

OP posts:
NotQuiteJustYet · 04/08/2017 22:04

Believe me, as a fellow business partner, we are not THAT important. Part and parcel of being a business partner is that unless there is something someone needs you to do or needs from you just don't get thought about.

For example, despite having worked with my colleagues for nearly 7 years I didn't receive wedding gifts, birthday presents or leaving presents from them. I don't mind at all, that's just how it is at my place.

Having said that, I would not expect anything from work at all so a meal would have been a lovely surprise. You never know, once baby is here they may surprise you.

procrastinationsupremo · 04/08/2017 22:05

Oh come on everyone, I know PhyllisNights doesn't always present herself in the best light.... But that aside most of us spend quite a lot of time at work and presumably develop fond feelings for or even friendships with our colleagues. Surely it's not that unusual to be excited for them and make a bit of a fuss when they're having their first baby? Maybe Phyllis was more disappointed with a general lacklustre vibe than not getting a free lunch???

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 22:06

I went for her role and she came in externally and seems to have felt threatened ever since.

Doubt it.

She got the job, you didn't.

Suck it up buttercup.

MadamePomfrey · 04/08/2017 22:06

So you had to force your friends to through you a shower which from the sounds of it didn't meet you expections and your work didn't do enough is there any chance it's your expectations that are a little high??

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 22:07

Ok Phyllis why would she be threatened by someone who didn't get the job she did?

What was stopping anyone else organizing a collection?
All these things might be worth thinking about before you start baby groups...

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 22:07

Surely it's not that unusual to be excited for them and make a bit of a fuss when they're having their first baby

You reep what you sow.

If the OP behaves and comes across at work as she does here, I wouldn't do much either tbh.

Nearly10to9 · 04/08/2017 22:12

I enjoy this forum as an avenue where I can let off a little bit off heartfelt steam without suffering the consequences.

actually i get you on this, i love it here, as there are views i can share on here, that might be detrimental to my career if i popped on facebook etc
i dont think i am too controversial here, but i can be a little more honest here instead of just scrolling past a post that makes me eyeroll...

SpartacusSaiman · 04/08/2017 22:13

My director has never liked me. I went for her role and she came in externally and seems to have felt threatened ever since.

Why would she feel threatened. You werent good enough to get the job. She was.

Original poster
PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 22:14

@procrastinationsupremo - thank you,

My sister in law got a huge send-off and on top of that, they went to the theatre after the baby was born! I feel a bit embarrassed when I had to report back to her.

When I did my handover, it was very much... ok! Enjoy your maternity leave! See you in a year!

OP posts:
PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 22:16

My sister in law got a huge send-off and on top of that, they went to the theatre after the baby was born! I feel a bit embarrassed when I had to report back to her.

Do you work in the same place?

Maybe think about why they did it for SIL and not you.

SpartacusSaiman · 04/08/2017 22:16

Maybe its because your sister in law is likable.

I actually dont say that to be mean. But you are not a likable person. You need to get your head out of your arse.

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 22:16

Does your SIL work at the same place?

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/08/2017 22:18

Oh my days! I have just noted that Phyllis has posted on the Harassment thread that she is worried that her child is going to be treated like the OP's on there GrinShock.

Why did you have to report to your SIL about work?!

NotACleverName · 04/08/2017 22:18

When I did my handover, it was very much... ok! Enjoy your maternity leave! See you in a year!

What were you expecting exactly? A 21 gun salute, a trumpet fanfare, angels carrying bunting?

PrincessPlod · 04/08/2017 22:18

Brilliant thread. I got nothing when I went on maternity leave and had handover 10 mins before I left the building. You work with these people nothing else and you are silly to expect anything.

Original poster
PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 22:18

SIL works somewhere different. Her director is very Ab Fab meets Devil Wears Prada.

OP posts:
MommaGee · 04/08/2017 22:19

Phyllis perhaps if you'd posted

AIbu to be upset? Traditionally when someone at work goes off on maternity leave they get a little parry, a gift and the boss pays for everyone to go out to lunch. This includes my SIL who got a huge send off.
I finished today, we popped out for Italian (we all paid for pure own) but other than that no one mentioned I was leaving for a year
AIBU to think its personal"

As opposed to "in very important and I deserve SOOOOO much more"

MommaGee · 04/08/2017 22:20

When is your baby due?

gingergenius · 04/08/2017 22:22
Halo
Original poster
PhyllisNights · 04/08/2017 22:22

Late August. I doubt I'll hear anything about cards, presents or further occasions later on, though. It felt very much like.... we'll see you in a year!

The girl who is acting in my role for a year seemed very off and cold with me too. Like she'd rejoice in me not coming back so she can stay in the role permanently.

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 04/08/2017 22:23

But you are not your sil and you don't work where she does so don't have her boss.

Why are you expecting the same?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 22:23

Maybe SIL isn't full of her own self importance.

Just a thought.

talonofthehawk · 04/08/2017 22:23

They don't care about your maternity leave because you're an insufferable egocentric weirdo.

laura1206 · 04/08/2017 22:23

Haven't RTFT but you sound horrible! Please set a better example when your child is growing up

MuncheysMummy · 04/08/2017 22:24

This is hilarious! I worked with just the owner of a small business me and her alone for 9 hours a day 4 days a week for 9 fucking years and got nada when I went on Mat leave! Not a card and no congratulations or good wishes! I'd have been over the moon with a card never mind lunch out!