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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want our hedgehog back?!

130 replies

JackNic · 04/08/2017 19:30

Hi,

Long time stalker, first time poster here so please forgive me if I do this all wrong. The problem is that I'm so angry I have to share!

DS2 is autistic and suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome so doesn't get into school a lot. He loves nature and has been obsessed with hedgehogs for years. For his eighth birthday, I caved and bought him (at huge expense) a little African Pygmy hedgehog to keep in a cage with a bedroom, a wheel and much luxury. This hedgehog was much loved and some of my friends even came to the house to visit it.

Last year, my elderly father needed looking after as his dementia had got worse and so we moved up the road to a bigger house. Various friends offered help but I mostly did it all on my own. I did ask some friends if any wanted our dog for a few days whilst I moved the larger items, just so that she wouldn't be under my feet. One friend, who had been particularly friendly with our hedgehog, offered to look after him instead whilst we moved. He didn't really need looking after as he was no trouble but she was very keen to help so I let her.

My father moved in at the beginning of November and life went a bit crazy for a few weeks settling him in and teaching him not to wander off etc... I finally contacted my friend at the beginning of December (she'd gone very quiet) asking for the hedgehog back. She kept saying she was busy and we could have him next week. Each week, DS2 would get super excited, only to be told the same thing again. I left it for the fortnight over Christmas and tried again in January. Then this friend started to get aggressive in her responses and refuse to give him back. This continued until the end of January when, after a night with a very upset DS2, I unleashed the Mother Bear on her and she agreed to let us collect him the following Thursday afternoon.

After a number of failed attempts to collect the hedgehog (she kept texting when we were on our way with an excuse), I finally pinned her down to a new date. We arrived after school with a tired but excited DS2 who had told his whole class that he was getting his hedgehog back finally. She was not at home and would not answer her phone. DS2 cried and I simply sent her a very upset message and left it.

I have heard nothing from this girl until tonight, when she messaged me that this "favour has gone on long enough and I need you to come and get this hedgehog please. It's has cost me so much to look after him. If you would like to come and collect him I'm asking for £180 back to reimburse the costs of looking after him(which is significantly less than what it has cost me). If you are either not in a position to do this or simply don't want to I will be selling him to a good home. Please respond before next Friday with what you would like to do as what has started as a favour has turned into a long term expense."

What???!!!!

What on earth do I do??

OP posts:
Fluffyunicorns · 04/08/2017 19:33

Not a friend - write her a cheque and cancel it before she cashes it - DS needs his pet

ToothTrauma · 04/08/2017 19:33

It's theft, isn't it? Can you contact the police?

MrsFionaCharming · 04/08/2017 19:33

Do you have an expired cheque book lying around? I'd write her a cheque for the money, take my hedgehog, then laugh as she fails to cash it.

crazymissdaisy · 04/08/2017 19:39

It is a ransom! Poor son and poor hedgehog looked after by nasty piece of work. My first thought was had she accidentally killed it- then I read her shocking letter. You could bill her an identical sum to compensate your son for his distress ? She might get the idea that she is taking the piss?

JackNic · 04/08/2017 19:39

Genius idea about the cheque book but I'm far too nice to pull a stunt like that!

I have friends who are police officers and they say it's a civil matter for lawyers to solve. I can't afford legal fees for a small animal! That said, if she sells it, that might make it theft.

OP posts:
ToothTrauma · 04/08/2017 19:40

Too nice? Surely niceness has to go out the window here? She's stolen your son's pet!

JackNic · 04/08/2017 19:41

I thought she'd killed it too. That's why I left it in February and walked away. I didn't want to cause any more trauma to DS2. Perhaps she HAS killed it but a friend has offered to sell her one for less?

OP posts:
LittleMissCantbebothered · 04/08/2017 19:45

I think the hedgehog has died and she doesn't want to admit it to you.

FlandersRocks · 04/08/2017 19:46

I wouldn't even bother with a cheque.

Tell her you'll pay. Go to the door. Ask to see the hedgehog to make sure he's ok. Pick him up and say you'll get your purse from the car...just as well get him settled. Go to the car with hedgehog and drive away. I'd be flicking her the v's as I went.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 04/08/2017 19:47

Just go and get it. When it's in your hands tell her to go fuck herself.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 04/08/2017 19:47

Ah flanders has beaten me to it

UnicornSparkles1 · 04/08/2017 19:52

What Flanders said with bells on

madja · 04/08/2017 20:01

What! That's holding him ransom, unless she has had to buy a new one, which I suspect, given your conversations. Does it cost this much to care for a hedgehog? What is it he needs that's so expensive?
I would be telling her how upset your son is tbh, she's treating the situation like it's your pet when really it's his. How would she like to explain to him what's she's doing? It's downright cruel.

JackNic · 04/08/2017 20:02

He's quite a cheap pet. He mostly eats dry cat food and only very small quantities. His bedding needs changing quite regularly but sawdust is cheap.

OP posts:
JackNic · 04/08/2017 20:03

She says that I'm using emotional blackmail if I ever dare to mention DS2. Then she attacks my parenting.

OP posts:
StarryCorpulentCunt · 04/08/2017 20:05

I'd just agree to pay, go round there and once in the door, pick up the hedgehog and send ds to put him in the car while you write her a cheque. As soon as he is out the door tell her to fuck herself.

alpacasandwich · 04/08/2017 20:05

Maybe she sold him?

Mxyzptlk · 04/08/2017 20:06

I agree with those saying get the hedgehog and give her nothing.
You've been far too nice already.

DartmoorDoughnut · 04/08/2017 20:06

Don't be ridiculous! She's a hedgehog stealing bitch!

Just agree to the amount and write her a cheque then cancel it FFS

Guepe · 04/08/2017 20:09

Cancel the cheque!

LemonRedwood · 04/08/2017 20:09

Do you think the hedgehog did die but the £180 is what it cost her to buy a replacement? (I have no idea how much a hedgehog would cost.)

PhDPepper · 04/08/2017 20:10

Agree with the pp about the cheque. However this is theft and you could involve the police

laurzj82 · 04/08/2017 20:11

Don't be nice. She isn't being nice. Cancel the cheque!

crazymissdaisy · 04/08/2017 20:11

You aren't using emotional blackmail OP, she is using Actual Blackmail !

robindeer · 04/08/2017 20:13

Shock What a monstrous bitch!

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