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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want our hedgehog back?!

130 replies

JackNic · 04/08/2017 19:30

Hi,

Long time stalker, first time poster here so please forgive me if I do this all wrong. The problem is that I'm so angry I have to share!

DS2 is autistic and suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome so doesn't get into school a lot. He loves nature and has been obsessed with hedgehogs for years. For his eighth birthday, I caved and bought him (at huge expense) a little African Pygmy hedgehog to keep in a cage with a bedroom, a wheel and much luxury. This hedgehog was much loved and some of my friends even came to the house to visit it.

Last year, my elderly father needed looking after as his dementia had got worse and so we moved up the road to a bigger house. Various friends offered help but I mostly did it all on my own. I did ask some friends if any wanted our dog for a few days whilst I moved the larger items, just so that she wouldn't be under my feet. One friend, who had been particularly friendly with our hedgehog, offered to look after him instead whilst we moved. He didn't really need looking after as he was no trouble but she was very keen to help so I let her.

My father moved in at the beginning of November and life went a bit crazy for a few weeks settling him in and teaching him not to wander off etc... I finally contacted my friend at the beginning of December (she'd gone very quiet) asking for the hedgehog back. She kept saying she was busy and we could have him next week. Each week, DS2 would get super excited, only to be told the same thing again. I left it for the fortnight over Christmas and tried again in January. Then this friend started to get aggressive in her responses and refuse to give him back. This continued until the end of January when, after a night with a very upset DS2, I unleashed the Mother Bear on her and she agreed to let us collect him the following Thursday afternoon.

After a number of failed attempts to collect the hedgehog (she kept texting when we were on our way with an excuse), I finally pinned her down to a new date. We arrived after school with a tired but excited DS2 who had told his whole class that he was getting his hedgehog back finally. She was not at home and would not answer her phone. DS2 cried and I simply sent her a very upset message and left it.

I have heard nothing from this girl until tonight, when she messaged me that this "favour has gone on long enough and I need you to come and get this hedgehog please. It's has cost me so much to look after him. If you would like to come and collect him I'm asking for £180 back to reimburse the costs of looking after him(which is significantly less than what it has cost me). If you are either not in a position to do this or simply don't want to I will be selling him to a good home. Please respond before next Friday with what you would like to do as what has started as a favour has turned into a long term expense."

What???!!!!

What on earth do I do??

OP posts:
aramintafatbottom · 04/08/2017 21:01

What an awful woman! I would shamelessly post on Facebook that she had stolen my child's pet and was asking for a ridiculous amount of money for it! I don't usually go for the airing of dirty laundry in public but I would shame her into giving the pet back!

Catzpyjamas · 04/08/2017 21:06

Keep all the messages pertaining to you trying to get him back as well as her cruel threat to sell him/ demand for payment. Use them if she starts bad mouthing you.
Could you adopt a new hedgehog for your DS? There are plenty needing homes. Check out some of the rescues like this one

kali110 · 04/08/2017 21:08

No, they can contain mites, if you're in the uk the only treatment can kill the hog.
Best bet is fleece or aome people use pupply pads, easier to clean too Wink

kali110 · 04/08/2017 21:10

I'd put it online if she tries to damage your rep people don't take kindly to stealing people's animals, especially a small childs Angry
You're not stupid for having a 20y/o friend, im in my 30's and have frirnds in their 50-60's and early 20's.
She's just a shit.
I'd threaten to take her to small claims if you get nowhere.
£60 to file and i bet you won't get that far.

PocketNiffler · 04/08/2017 21:15

Screenshot all the messages right now as if she blocks you on Facebook (likely?) I suspect you won't be able to read them any more.

SpottedGingham · 04/08/2017 21:18

What a bitch! 😡

Neverknowing · 04/08/2017 22:00

What an arse. How horrid of her !
I can't imagine anyone doing this. If i were you I would do the cancelling a cheque thing. Don't worry if it's 'mean' she's not been fair or nice to you so not sure why you're worried.
Definitely do as others have said and take screenshots, she doesn't seem very bright she's the only one who comes off badly. She can't really bad mouth you can she?!

honeyroar · 04/08/2017 22:01

Screenshot all the messages, particularly the ones where she wouldn't give it back. Reply to her that you've had enough of this, you want the hedgehog returning, you will pay£X to cover keep unless she can provide proof of why she had run up such a big amount (£X should cover reasonable amounts for feed and bedding in the months she's had him). Tell her you will be taking legal advice and will take her to no claims court if she sells the hedgehog. Personally I'd pay to have a solicitor send her a letter saying the above. She is just trying to bluff you into giving her ownership of the hedgehog because she wants to keep him. Time to play hardball back...

burntoutmum · 04/08/2017 22:09

Wow what a cow!!! Shock

I'm like you OP, would find it hard to cancel the cheque, but needs must in this situation Wink

Good luck!

Betsy86 · 04/08/2017 22:16

Omg i am so angry for u!!!!!! I agree with others shame her into giving him back. Keep all your messages to!! Oh what a evil cow she is!! Good luck and dont give in. Do the cheque idea sod being too nice shes upset your child and blackmailing u!!!!!!xxx

SwimmingInLemonade · 04/08/2017 22:16

She's a horrible woman! I wonder why she's suddenly come back to you with this ultimatum now?

I'd go round (with one of your large friends waiting in the car, and all the messages safely printed off) and make sure you SEE the hedgehog (take your son too if he might need to identify if it's the same one). Then just take it. You could write her a fake cheque if you want, or say "the cheque's in the post," or "I'll do a bank transfer tomorrow." or ANYTHING, but get the hedgehog out of the house at all costs. (There's a sentence I never thought I'd write...)

If she calls you the next day asking about the money, ask her for a breakdown of the costs she's supposedly incurred.Then point out that you didn't NEED anyone to take the hog, she chose to and then refused to guve it back so she obviously wanted to hang onto it. And remind her what a funny story this would be to tell at work....

Good luck (and keep us updated!)

HeebieJeebies456 · 04/08/2017 22:20

if you really want it back that much (after ?9 months Hmm )
......just skip down the road and say you want to check there's not a slim-shady lurking about in all that luxury....then pick up the cage and RUN!!!!!!!!

Gin Grin Grin

Lonecatwithkitten · 04/08/2017 22:22

Experience tells me the hedgehog is now not well and she does not want to pay for treatment. See this kind of thing every week.

ChasedByBees · 04/08/2017 22:23

What an absolute bitch. Bad gossip will affect her too. I would go round (with a friend), get the hedgehog (you need to check it's ok of course) and then show her all your messages asking for it back and hers demanding money. Its obvious she stole your child's pet and then tried to blackmail you and it would be obvious to anyone else who sees it.

kali110 · 04/08/2017 22:28

if you really want it back that much (after ?9 months hmm )
Seems obvious from ops posts she's been trying hard for months to get her pet back nicely Hmm

JigglyTuff · 04/08/2017 22:29

She's stolen your pet! And she wants you to pay to get it back Shock

Honestly - this is entirely beyond the pale. Fuck her threats of blackmail. And if she puts them in writing, I can assure you that the police will absolutely be interested in them

Smellbellina · 04/08/2017 22:30

On the face of it it does sound civil, BUT it could also be shown to be criminal, officers aren't often always that great at understanding the home office counting rules re offences, so it might be worth a try. Especially as you may strike lucky and end up with someone sympathetic who is willing to look at it more closely. Slightly depends on your force too.
I'd go round. If it escalates, then call the police. They should attend as an on going breach of the peace, then take it from there.

HeebieJeebies456 · 04/08/2017 22:49

gph.is/2cYwY1R

LouHotel · 04/08/2017 22:56

This is unreal!!

Say you'll. Go round with some mates get yiur hedgehog and go.

Then post all the messengers on social media and destroy this cow. Bloody deluded bitch.

SwimmingInLemonade · 04/08/2017 22:56

Or better yet, don't take your son when you go to her house, and then tell her you'll need to take the hedgehog home for him to check it's the same one "before you pay anything" (and then don't pay, obvs).

No I'm not overinvested in this

Nocabbageinmyeye · 04/08/2017 23:05

I agree with pp who said the hedgehog is now sick and she wants rid before it dies. I'd just buy a new one and leave her with the old one, she's some bitch

Rayche1 · 04/08/2017 23:07

Well this is weird!

Say yes & go get it. While you're there tell her you've proof of trying to get it back for months so you suspect something fishy & you now need a vet to check it over before paying expenses

Floellabumbags · 04/08/2017 23:13

She's not going on holiday next week by any chance? No one to look after the hog and fancies a few extra quid spending money?

Harree · 04/08/2017 23:19

Definitely screenshot all messages. They disappear if she blocks you I think!

Pigeonpost · 04/08/2017 23:22

Just message her back telling her that you will not be blackmailed into paying for a much loved pet that you have been asking to collect repeatedly over the last 6 months (or however long it has been, sorry) and unless you have the hedgehog back by say 5pm tomorrow you will be calling the police on grounds of theft and blackmail. Call her bluff. And call the police if necessary. What a fucking crazy bitch.