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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want our hedgehog back?!

130 replies

JackNic · 04/08/2017 19:30

Hi,

Long time stalker, first time poster here so please forgive me if I do this all wrong. The problem is that I'm so angry I have to share!

DS2 is autistic and suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome so doesn't get into school a lot. He loves nature and has been obsessed with hedgehogs for years. For his eighth birthday, I caved and bought him (at huge expense) a little African Pygmy hedgehog to keep in a cage with a bedroom, a wheel and much luxury. This hedgehog was much loved and some of my friends even came to the house to visit it.

Last year, my elderly father needed looking after as his dementia had got worse and so we moved up the road to a bigger house. Various friends offered help but I mostly did it all on my own. I did ask some friends if any wanted our dog for a few days whilst I moved the larger items, just so that she wouldn't be under my feet. One friend, who had been particularly friendly with our hedgehog, offered to look after him instead whilst we moved. He didn't really need looking after as he was no trouble but she was very keen to help so I let her.

My father moved in at the beginning of November and life went a bit crazy for a few weeks settling him in and teaching him not to wander off etc... I finally contacted my friend at the beginning of December (she'd gone very quiet) asking for the hedgehog back. She kept saying she was busy and we could have him next week. Each week, DS2 would get super excited, only to be told the same thing again. I left it for the fortnight over Christmas and tried again in January. Then this friend started to get aggressive in her responses and refuse to give him back. This continued until the end of January when, after a night with a very upset DS2, I unleashed the Mother Bear on her and she agreed to let us collect him the following Thursday afternoon.

After a number of failed attempts to collect the hedgehog (she kept texting when we were on our way with an excuse), I finally pinned her down to a new date. We arrived after school with a tired but excited DS2 who had told his whole class that he was getting his hedgehog back finally. She was not at home and would not answer her phone. DS2 cried and I simply sent her a very upset message and left it.

I have heard nothing from this girl until tonight, when she messaged me that this "favour has gone on long enough and I need you to come and get this hedgehog please. It's has cost me so much to look after him. If you would like to come and collect him I'm asking for £180 back to reimburse the costs of looking after him(which is significantly less than what it has cost me). If you are either not in a position to do this or simply don't want to I will be selling him to a good home. Please respond before next Friday with what you would like to do as what has started as a favour has turned into a long term expense."

What???!!!!

What on earth do I do??

OP posts:
JackNic · 04/08/2017 23:24

That's it! I bet she's going on holiday! Genius.

OP posts:
pressureofaname · 04/08/2017 23:50

No no no don't write her a cheque and then cancel it (or ever do this just to get rid of someone) - if you write a cheque to someone you make yourself liable to them for the amount of the cheque whether or not there was actually an underlying debt in the first place and if she wanted she could sue you (and win, easily) for the amount of the cheque. Little known trap known to lawyers as "the cheque rule". Not worth it!

FeelingAggrieved · 04/08/2017 23:54

What the fuck is wrong with this woman? I agree with the cancel the cheque idea. Just do it. She doesn't deserve anything from you. Hope you get the hedgehog back. :/

FeelingAggrieved · 04/08/2017 23:55

Given the post above mine - maybe don't do it. 😂

oeufdepaques · 05/08/2017 00:02

What an awful woman! I hope you get the hedgehog back. I'd go round there with the messenger exchanges and just ask her outright what on earth she thinks she's doing. Unbelievable. Good luck.

PearlyPinkNails · 05/08/2017 00:03

Just go and knock on her door and get it back.

TimbuktuTimbuktu · 05/08/2017 00:10

Omg I absolutely love Pygmy hedgehogs. Would you recommend one as a pet? Are they a lot of hassle to look after? Totally misses point

Back to your question. I would totally lie to get my pet back. Fake cheque, pretend to transfer money etc.

crazycatgal · 05/08/2017 00:18

Just say you've got the money ready and go and get him!

Also, sawdust is not a good substrate for APHs, I would look to changing to something else as it can cause health problems.

crazycatgal · 05/08/2017 00:22

@TimbuktuTimbuktu APHs can be hard work because they can become very smelly and need cleaning out a lot (they often poo on their wheel and run through it.) They need a heat mat as they need to be kept to a certain temperature because if they hibernate it will kill them. Their diet is fairly easy as it mostly consists of high quality cat biscuits with meat, vegetables and mealworms.

kali110 · 05/08/2017 00:24

TimbuktuTimbuktu
You have to have patience.
They're not always the cute pet that you see in pictures.
They can be very timid and anxious!
They also poop, a lot.

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 05/08/2017 00:40

You should have nipped this in the bud ages ago. Just go round there and get the hedgehog. Or personally I would have called the police.

silkpyjamasallday · 05/08/2017 06:03

MN never fails to surprise me at how many horrible people there are in the world, I mean who the fuck holds a child's pet hostage for the best part of a year?! It's not as if she had the hog as a favour and you've stalled picking him back up so she has had to shell out on extra stuff for him. We agreed to look after a friends small pet for 10 days, it ended up being a month and we were really skint at the time and as they hadn't sent him with enough food or bedding so we had to buy more ourselves, but even so we didn't try and charge our friends to get him back.

The cheque idea is a good one, if that fails I would be posting all the messages between the two of you on Facebook for all to see, at least that way any lies she spreads in order to make you look bad/harm your professional reputation will just be turned back on her, as everyone will know that she has been obstructive in returning the hog.

I hope you can get your sons hedgehog back, your poor boy must be so upset.

DartmoorDoughnut · 05/08/2017 07:11

Based on the cheque info above cut a bunch of paper into £20 note pieces, collect the hedgehog, hand it over and scarper

DartmoorDoughnut · 05/08/2017 07:11

Put it in an envelope obvs 😂

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/08/2017 07:33

cut a bunch of paper into £20 note pieces

Maybe put a real £20 on the top in case she cheques not sorry

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/08/2017 07:34

Children Fake Money Play Set Ideal Set for Kids to Play withLearning About Money By Guilty Gadgets www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B012X2K3PE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_LBwHzbN1QB8BM?tag=mumsnetforum-21

These are surprisingly realistic.

ChasedByBees · 05/08/2017 07:49

Actually surely what she's doing now is blackmail? I would approach the police again more formally.

HopefullyAnonymous · 05/08/2017 08:00

I too would call her bluff and say you'll contact the police if the hedgehog isn't promptly returned.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/08/2017 09:13

Don't do Twatt's suggestion - that really WILL land you in court because it will very possibly count as passing counterfeit notes. (Sorry Twat - I know you mean well.)

This is theft, pure and simple.

What about Judge Rinder? They seem to like an animal case on there, and a small boy sobbing for his hedgehog will pull extra heartstrings.

You can prove that you tried to get it back, and if you have offered a reasonable amount for its keep, I can't see what could go against you.

(Normally I wouldn't even give a reality show the time of day, but he does seem to be good)

mummmy2017 · 05/08/2017 09:28

Hedgehogs live 2 to 5 years
Tell your child you think the hedgehog many have passed on and that you should both go buy a new baby one to replace a much loved pet.
~as even if you get the pet returned it will not be around for long and you would still have to do this.

mummmy2017 · 05/08/2017 09:30

Also Strange she wants the price of a new one...

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/08/2017 09:50

SchadenfreudePersonified

I wasn't being completely serious, don't worry. Grin

SchadenfreudePersonified · 05/08/2017 11:53

Sorry Twatty

I get over-excited. It's too many e-numbers in my Guinness I think Grin

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 05/08/2017 11:56

Thinking about it though and how the message was random I do think the poor thing has died and she has bought a new one,..how old was the hedgehog when you gave it to her?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/08/2017 12:22

That's ok, Schadenfreude. I too get very excitable. Can't blame mine on any E Numbers. Just me. Grin

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