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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want our hedgehog back?!

130 replies

JackNic · 04/08/2017 19:30

Hi,

Long time stalker, first time poster here so please forgive me if I do this all wrong. The problem is that I'm so angry I have to share!

DS2 is autistic and suffers from chronic fatigue syndrome so doesn't get into school a lot. He loves nature and has been obsessed with hedgehogs for years. For his eighth birthday, I caved and bought him (at huge expense) a little African Pygmy hedgehog to keep in a cage with a bedroom, a wheel and much luxury. This hedgehog was much loved and some of my friends even came to the house to visit it.

Last year, my elderly father needed looking after as his dementia had got worse and so we moved up the road to a bigger house. Various friends offered help but I mostly did it all on my own. I did ask some friends if any wanted our dog for a few days whilst I moved the larger items, just so that she wouldn't be under my feet. One friend, who had been particularly friendly with our hedgehog, offered to look after him instead whilst we moved. He didn't really need looking after as he was no trouble but she was very keen to help so I let her.

My father moved in at the beginning of November and life went a bit crazy for a few weeks settling him in and teaching him not to wander off etc... I finally contacted my friend at the beginning of December (she'd gone very quiet) asking for the hedgehog back. She kept saying she was busy and we could have him next week. Each week, DS2 would get super excited, only to be told the same thing again. I left it for the fortnight over Christmas and tried again in January. Then this friend started to get aggressive in her responses and refuse to give him back. This continued until the end of January when, after a night with a very upset DS2, I unleashed the Mother Bear on her and she agreed to let us collect him the following Thursday afternoon.

After a number of failed attempts to collect the hedgehog (she kept texting when we were on our way with an excuse), I finally pinned her down to a new date. We arrived after school with a tired but excited DS2 who had told his whole class that he was getting his hedgehog back finally. She was not at home and would not answer her phone. DS2 cried and I simply sent her a very upset message and left it.

I have heard nothing from this girl until tonight, when she messaged me that this "favour has gone on long enough and I need you to come and get this hedgehog please. It's has cost me so much to look after him. If you would like to come and collect him I'm asking for £180 back to reimburse the costs of looking after him(which is significantly less than what it has cost me). If you are either not in a position to do this or simply don't want to I will be selling him to a good home. Please respond before next Friday with what you would like to do as what has started as a favour has turned into a long term expense."

What???!!!!

What on earth do I do??

OP posts:
JackNic · 05/08/2017 17:24

He would have been about 18 months old, I think. I do like the idea of just getting a new one. That way, I can look at it and love it without getting bad feelings wondering if it's the same one and where it's been. It really is a crazy world.

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 05/08/2017 19:01

I think it would be awful to just buy a new one tbh. It's a pet not just a toy that you can replace. Go round to this woman's house and try to get the hedgehog back.

SuburbanRhonda · 05/08/2017 19:03

I agree you shouldn't replace it. What are you going to tell your son about the other one?

KarmaNoMore · 05/08/2017 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 06/08/2017 09:58

I couldn't just get a new one and leave the old one with her. I would constantly worry whether it was ok. Considering she is completely awful to a little boy, what would she do to a hedgehog.

kali110 · 06/08/2017 14:10

I think it would be awful replacing it too. Imagine leaving it with her Sad

KarmaNoMore · 06/08/2017 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 06/08/2017 15:19

I still wouldn't want to leave an animal with this person!

FireSquirrel · 06/08/2017 15:28

For petes sake, don't pussyfoot around this awful woman, take screenshots and inform her that if the hedgehog isn't returned promptly you'll be phoning the police. Don't you dare let her get away with stealing your pet.

OnionKnight · 06/08/2017 15:32

Why the fuck have you let it drag on for so long?

She's basically stolen your son's pet and you haven't tried very hard to get it back, now you're on about buying another one rather than getting it back.

Hmm
ButchyRestingFace · 06/08/2017 15:42

I would be concerned about potentially leaving a poor, innocent - albeit spikey - wee creature in her clutches.😢

I'd go get it but she wouldn't be getting the £180, the cowbag.

Cagliostro · 06/08/2017 16:25

What a nasty cow! Poor thing being hognapped :(

LadyDeadpool · 06/08/2017 17:28

I don't think you should take it back or get a new one, you've treated this one as disposable giving up trying to get it back and now happy to replace it? It's meant to be a beloved pet not something replaceable. I'd fight tooth and nail for all my pets they are irreplaceable.

KarmaNoMore · 06/08/2017 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhubardGin · 06/08/2017 17:59

Your "friend" is completely unhinged.

It's theft and blackmail.

Sounds OTT but would you consider calling the police to get some advice?

Text her and tell her you'll be round on x date at x time and if she's not in or refuses to give you the hedgehog back you'll be taking it further. and shove your £180 up your arse you fucking psycho

mummmy2017 · 06/08/2017 20:18

Jacks, I know your not a bad Hedgehog owner.
Either your friend loves it so much she won't give it back.
loves a hedgehog and is making you pay so she can have another one, when she gives it back.
or the poor thing has passed and she needs the cash to replace.

if it's the first one, she must have bonded with it, and it won't love you as much. so let it stay.
If it's the last your better getting a new one, and your child can have all the fun of having a baby hog again.
should hog 1 returned for free, you get 2... hey win win here.

And to all the people saying about cruelty to hogs, if she has managed to keep the hog in heaven this long, then it will be fine.

kali110 · 07/08/2017 01:10

mummmy2017 just because she's had this long and it's still alive is no indicator that she's treating it correctly!
Loads of people have these as pets and they're crap owners!
That's a ridiculous statement.

KarmaNoMore · 07/08/2017 02:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seeingadistance · 07/08/2017 02:24

OP, I think you should do what you can to get the hedgehog back from this woman. I agree with pp that there's a good chance that it's not the same hedgehog, but it would be awful to leave the poor creature with her as she obviously doesn't care about the wee thing.

I also think you should go to the Police and explain the situation to them. The fact that she refused to return the hedgehog for months, and is now demanding money before returning it, is surely some kind of extortion - which is criminal.

BhajiAllTheWay · 07/08/2017 07:07

OP I'm angry for you. What a lowlife. I think if she's so horrible and devious though you won't have a hope in hell of fobbing her off by saying cheques in the post/ you need to see it or making a grab for it and scarpering. She's gonna be expecting this.Hate to say this but could you buy another? I don't reckon she's gonna let you have it without having cash upfront first. Sad

MrsPringles · 07/08/2017 11:37

I third police. Obvs the non emergency number but I think this warrants a bit of advice.
It might scare her into returning it if she knows you've spoken to the police

mummmy2017 · 07/08/2017 16:44

Sorry but still think it's long gone and she has a replacement , but they want £180 for it, and bet she hasn't paid it out yet.
kali110 I was simply saying things that could have happened,
If she wasn't caring for it, the poor thing would be in heaven by now.

kali110 · 08/08/2017 09:33

You can easily feed and clean a hog, it Doesn't mean you're looking after it properly.
Just because it hasn't died does not mean it is being looked after propely.

Flowersandfootballs · 10/08/2017 01:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PancakesAteTheChildren · 10/08/2017 01:32

What a total cow she is!