That they should have just got a fucking babysitter

[Happyeverafter73]

I am sitting in a nice restaurant trying to have a good evening with my friends. And the couple next to me have their baby, no more than 1 month old. Screaming his or her head off for half an hour.

AIBU that they should not bring a tiny baby into a restaurant?

This couple were probably inexperienced parents just as I was when my baby was 5 months old and the restaurant owner's wife helped me out. I found out later this (older) woman had raised 7 children.

Maybe we all need to help each other out more.

I took.both my DC out to restaurants since newborn. My youngest was a day old. I couldn't face cooking and I had lots of restaurants at the doorstep. That said, both my kids drop off to sleep as soon as we went in, the general noise made them sleepy. I have never stayed at the table if they were crying like that. My DH quickly feels embarrassed and took any out for a walk with the pram if they started crying. Peppa pig has done wonders too when really needed. I know nobody "needs" to go to a restaurant but we haven't got family around or any babysitting arrangements and eating out is our only leisure activity and we try to go a couple of times a month (usually with vouchers, discounts, whatever). My kids got used to.go out and if for any reason they are particularly moody (tiredness, hungry, whatever), we take them out, eat quickly or distract with whatever is at hand. The problem there were the adults at the table. Just because I have kids, doesn't mean I have to stay at home or wait until I can afford childcare on top of whichever activity. But I'd try to be considerate and I always keep an eye on my kids' noise level and the people at the neighbouring tables. I try to sit where other families are sitting too.

I`'ll bet I know who reported hmm

Don't we just.
The same few trouble makers every time. And MN fall for their BS every single time.
They seem to be exempt from things that most of us would get hauled over the coals for.

If a person is acting like a prat they should be held accountable. even if they have been on here years and are well known posters.
it's the only thing I don't like about MN.

we need to show a bit more compassion.
Some of those diners might be going through difficult times as well. maybe they'd been looking forward to going out for months. all the planning and arranging of babysitters, only to have it ruined because the parents of the crying baby wouldn't take turns to take the baby outside.

Not sure what talk guidelines I broke to get deleted. Hardly attacked anyone
It's animal farm here sometimes

TeamCersei
we need to show a bit more compassion.

again this goes both ways, I can't remember anyone on the thread saying that they shouldn't have brought the baby out, just that they should have taken turns to take the child out.

Is this really that unreasonable?

Happy, I have seen two names on this thread who consistently post antagonistic posts across a wide range of topics.
They never get warned. They never get deleted.

I do have my theories as to why, but I'd like to think I'm wrong

The notion that other diners / staff should have abandoned their own food/duties and stepped in to "jiggle" the baby has got to be tongue in cheek??? How perfectly nonsensical 😖

We brought our 6 month old to Spain and it happened to us all the time. He wasn't even crying (he was my "good" one). As soon as our food was served a waiter or waitress or barman would come by and take the baby and we'd see our son being walked up and down the bar, while they served wine/olives etc. Both in the cafe where DH had been going all his life and in random places (although usually not at peak times) It was bliss.

For the OP, I think it unfair to let a month old baby cry - for his own sake and the sake of the other people eating. I'd have been more on edge at the child being unsoothed than the actual noise. I couldn't relax if a newborn was being left to cry.

I took my 2 week old out for dinner with friends (second child). I got a few disapproving looks - because I was feeding her with a bottle of expressed bm and not on the boob. Very pro-breastfeeding where I am.

Team

Having sorted out a babysitter for a long awaited meal out with DH, just the two of us... forgive me if I'm not first in line to jump up and jiggle someone else's screaming kid for them, so they get to eat their meal in peace

This couple were probably inexperienced parents just as I was when my baby was 5 months old and the restaurant owner's wife helped me out. I found out later this (older) woman had raised 7 children. Maybe we all need to help each other out more.

It was lovely that she could help you on that occasion, but come on! It's a Friday evening in a restaurant. They're a business and they're at their peak time when they will be stretched and all hands are on deck working. It's extremely unlikely the restaurant will have anybody on hand who can drop everything to take care of a baby on a Friday night.

Who else do you want to 'help out'? Other customers? You would expect people who are paying for the privilege of eating out, who have friends and family they've made time for with them and who may well have paid for their own sitters, to drop their own meals and company to care for someone else's child? No way,

Being a parent doesn't preclude being selfish or inconsiderate. And I really think these parents probably are. No matter how inexperienced parents are you can work out that you need to take the baby outside in turns and get home quickly. Almost all parents will have been in this situation for the first time once and almost none of them will have responded by leaving the baby to cry for that length of time.

"Being a parent doesn't preclude being selfish or inconsiderate. And I really think these parents probably are. "

Or maybe fining their way the hard way and being imperfect as all of us.

Babies cry. That's part of life. I used to take mine to restaurants at one month old, sometimes she cried a bit. If she cried more than 10 minutes we packaged the food and left or I walked around outside with her.

I would never judge parents of a crying newborn. They are probably exhausted and overwhelmed and couldn't care less that you find their baby annoying.

You sure you're not exaggerating a bit OP? A one month old (4 weeks old!) may be colicky, may have stressed out parents on the verge of losing it who really just want to eat. Instead of complaining wouldn't it be nice if you helped? Kindness seems to be rare these days

YANBU. It's fine to take a baby to a restaurant but it's extremely inconsiderate to stay put if the baby is crying. I take my baby out to coffee shops and restaurants often but he is very placid and will usually just sleep or cuddle. On the very rare occasion he has got upset I am out of there as quickly as possible! On one occasion I was in a quiet pub at lunchtime with a friend, baby did start crying and couldn't be immediately soothed, so I got up and went to leave - and as I was, the manager came over and said to stay as all ages are welcome in the pub and a crying baby wasn't a problem for them. Which was so lovely, but -as I explained to him as I left - I just never want to be THAT person! It's not fair on everyone else.

I take my baby out to coffee shops and restaurants often but he is very placid and will usually just sleep or cuddle

What would you do if your baby wasn't placid by nature? If he was fussy, grumpy, colicky, prone to crying etc? Mine was the opposite of placid but I still took her everywhere (in a sling). I didn't leave as soon as she cried though did bring a bag of dummies, toys and colic drops and tried to soothe her. I'm sure she annoyed lots of people in restaurants, cafes, buses, trains, waiting rooms, shops, coffee shops etc. But better than being stuck indoors all day or restricted to the park in case you disturb someone.

YABU that they shouldn't bring a baby to a retsaurant. NU that they should leave if they can't stop it crying though. That's why we barely went anywhere like that with ours for a looong time!

I really don't get the people saying "we all have to show some consideration to new parents." etc. Parents don't suddenly become devoid of the need to show consideration for others too. I have a baby. If I have a rare night out away from him, I don't particularly want to deal with someone else's crying baby. By the same token, if I'm out with my baby and he cries then I remove him as everyone else in the restaurant isn't there to deal with my baby. Just because I think my baby is awesome doesn't mean I have the right to expect everyone else to think so too, and my desire to eat a meal in a restaurant doesn't preclude other diners' desire to have a quiet and enjoyable meal.

I didn't make any reports if anyone was thinking so