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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

That they should have just got a fucking babysitter

288 replies

Happyeverafter73 · 04/08/2017 19:13

I am sitting in a nice restaurant trying to have a good evening with my friends. And the couple next to me have their baby, no more than 1 month old. Screaming his or her head off for half an hour.

AIBU that they should not bring a tiny baby into a restaurant?

OP posts:
Catsize · 04/08/2017 22:00

My son would cry for hours. Literally. My OH and I had many meals out where we took it in turns to eat whilst the other was outside with DS. Thinks have massively improved now he's 5. 😊

Runssometimes · 04/08/2017 22:02

We regularly took our son out at that age but would have left if he was crying - even a little bit, we never had to leave actually he just fed constantly at that age so I just ate my meal with him in the sling, feeding away. We had to stop once he settled into a longer sleeping routine as it wasn't in his interests to be out. But yes, is be annoyed if people were clearly not answering the needs of an unhappy baby and ignoring those around them. No problem per se about a child that young out late as long as they are content and looked after, but it doesn't sound like this was the case.

echt · 04/08/2017 22:03

that the way growing children learn to behave in company

A one month-old baby is not learning anything about how to behave in company. And clearly the parents didn't learn anything either.

ScaramangasThirdNipple · 04/08/2017 22:03

Would it be impolite of me to say it should be 'po faced keyboard knobs'. A nob is a toff, and I'm sure that person meant to call us knobs as in dicks, pricks etc.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 22:04

the way growing children learn to behave in company is to actually do it

At one month old? Give over.

Goldfishshoals · 04/08/2017 22:04

I don't think anyone has an issue with taking the baby to the restaurant in the first place?

Err then maybe you should have read the title of the ops post? She's asking if she's unreasonable to think parents of a one month old should have got a baby sitter, not whether parents should take their children out if they cry.

I think Op is unreasonable, babies that young should be with their parents not a baby sitter in my opinion, and I'm not one for all the martyr parenting 'we stayed at home and suffered for x years because that's what you have to do with kids' bollocks.

The parents were also unreasonable as they should have fed/or taken the kid out when it cried, but nothing wrong with taking them out if you take responsibility.

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2017 22:06

They need the correct behaviour modelled to them as well; simply bringing your kids to a restaurant and letting them run amok doesn't mean they'll pick up acceptable behaviour by osmosis..

NikiBabe · 04/08/2017 22:06

You have a baby that's been on this planet 30 days. Can anyone control their desire to go to a restaurant for a wee bit longer Hmm

Hard chair in a restaurant with a screaming baby or comfy home and a nice take away and everything you need at home at your fingertips. I dont get people.

Longdistance · 04/08/2017 22:14

I dragged my 2 everywhere, but as soon as they screamed, they were taken outside.

Usually it was Dh as I'd probably didn't get much to eat through the day, but it was lovely to get out and about. Though we'd had gone by 7 anyway as we'd be out at 5pm.

MrsPorth · 04/08/2017 22:16

They're new parents finding their feet. They probably know that they made a nuisance of themselves and are back home feeling pretty deflated right now. They won't do it again for a while.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 04/08/2017 22:22

Niki I belong to a literary society. Every year on the author's birthday we go out to dinner. It's one of the highlights of my year. I took DD2 and DS2 when they were tiny babies and dealt with them if they needed anything. Missing that night would have really depressed me.

MargaretTwatyer · 04/08/2017 22:25

Honestly, even if they were a really stressed inexperienced couple you would think within half an hour it would occur to them to take the poor kid outside.

I imagine it's much more likely they just don't give a shit.

Babies are still babies no matter if they're British or European. If they've been crying for half an hour going somewhere quieter and beingfed, walked about and possibly some fresh air is better for them than being in a noisy restaurant.

And no matter how family friendly Europeans are, babies cries are designed to be annoying precisely so they always get fed because everyone is so desperate to make them quiet! After half an hour even all these wonderful Europeans would HAVE to be getting pissy, otherwise evolution hasn't worked.

MNHQ
ClaraMumsnet · 04/08/2017 22:34

Thanks for the reports on this thread.

Discussions like this often get heated but we'd like to remind you that Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other in their choices and express their views without resorting to personal attacks.

We're sure you'd all agree that parents-to-be and new parents need all the support they can get.

After all, parenting is hard enough without facing judgement and criticism for those choices.

Peace and love Flowers

MaisyPops · 04/08/2017 22:37

Point being that Europeans on the continent would also expect a crying baby to be responded to.

A one month old baby has only been on this earth 30 or so days. Going more than 30daysbwithout a meal out is hardly depriving new parents (or maybe it is and I've just invented the latest non-challenge sponsor crazy 'take away for charity'). Plus, most people on this thread have said they don't mind infants being out as long as parents settle their child and/or take then outside if there's a big issue.

The issue here isn't the presence of a baby. The issue is 2 parents who feel their desire for a meal out is more important than every other paying customer.

ScaramangasThirdNipple · 04/08/2017 22:37

Wow. Some people just love reporting a thread!

Mittens1969 · 04/08/2017 22:49

It wasn't even all that heated tbh, and not harsh on parents. The majority don't have a problem with a young baby being in a restaurant, but object to the parents not taking it out when it cried. A perfectly reasonable expectation.

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2017 22:53

I'll bet I know who reported Hmm

Want2bSupermum · 04/08/2017 22:56

Some people need to grow a hide. This thread is tame for MN.

maudeismyfavouritepony · 04/08/2017 23:04

Bringing noisy crying / screaming / disruptive children anywhere is unfair on those who have to listen to it. I get you can't predict it but you have to DEAL with it.

So whether it's a school play/assembly / /Theatre / McDonalds / Naice restaurant your desire to eat nice food / see your kid / watch film whilst your little ones run about crying and ruining the experience for everybosy else DOES NOT trump the needs of everybody else in that restaurant school hall / cinema / airplane whatever.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 04/08/2017 23:05

What on earth possesses people to go to a nice restaurant with a newborn in the evening??

We regularly took our boy out when he was that age. He rarely cried, he was breastfed so could be babysat even if we wanted to use one - which we didn't. If he cried in a restaurant we would take him out of earshot - can't remember it happening now.

A toddler in a restaurant is much harder work than a new born IME.

worridmum · 04/08/2017 23:09

I hate how people go on about how child friendly the continent is but over there they DO SHOUT and tell off misbehaving children there too you know and parents do not go ballistic if someone other then themsevles dares tell off their children.

In the UK children can only be told off by parents (look at posts on here saying no one should dsipline my child other then myself etc) in the continent random members of the PUBLIC would pull up your child and so parents are SHAMED into controlling the bad behivair and is the reason they are tolareted because they know parents wont mind them stepping in if they dont

eg in a family friendly place a child was running around and a waiter / manager told the child off and the parents apoligsed and told there child off too, in the UK there would of been an arguement saying how dare you tell my darling off its not your place etc

Butterymuffin · 04/08/2017 23:11

My bet is that mum was a bit wary of breastfeeding baby out in a restaurant and they thought 'let's just eat, s/he might quieten down anyway and then we'll go home and do a feed'. More experience would have told them to just shovel milk in asap. But they should at least have walked baby around.

Ohmyfuck · 04/08/2017 23:12

Rude. Very inconsiderate of them.

JacquesHammer · 04/08/2017 23:16

Children in restaurants annoy me in general

Why on earth?!

Itsnotwhatitseems · 04/08/2017 23:20

Screaming babies in a restaurant for an evening meal is a definite no/no and on par with a screaming baby in the cinema or library, eating out in the evening is for relaxation and that would stress me out, if baby wasn't tended to or left then I would be leaving.