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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That they should have just got a fucking babysitter

288 replies

Happyeverafter73 · 04/08/2017 19:13

I am sitting in a nice restaurant trying to have a good evening with my friends. And the couple next to me have their baby, no more than 1 month old. Screaming his or her head off for half an hour.

AIBU that they should not bring a tiny baby into a restaurant?

OP posts:
Mittens1969 · 05/08/2017 09:16

There are always parents who just stay where they are when their baby cries. Probably hoping they'll magically stop. But the baby isn't going to stop once it gets to the stage of screaming. You have to take them away from the situation. I used to take ours away in the buggy and rock them to sleep. Or take them for a little walk. Once they were asleep, I could bring them back into the restaurant.

Why don't parents just do this?? It's much better for the baby as well.

TeamCersei · 05/08/2017 09:32

Love it when people say "I'm not saying any more about it'
and still they comment .

If you're gonna flounce, do it properly and be done with it.

TeamCersei · 05/08/2017 09:37

A large majority have said it's common manners to take it in turns in taking your baby outside for a while, if it's crying really loudly, out of respect for the other diners who have paid good money for their meal.

Mittens1969 · 05/08/2017 10:04

It could also be that the baby is wet and wants a nappy change? All sorts of reasons are possible but once they start screaming they need to be seen to, not just left!

Katherine2626 · 05/08/2017 17:32

You have to be pretty selfish to ruin the evening for an entire restaurant - however much people are indulgent with babies and children they can't enjoy their food or a conversation with screaming as an accompaniment. We took an elderly relative out for dinner some time ago - a rare treat for her as her health is poor - and one extremely entitled couple sat a few tables away ignoring their two darlings and letting them run around yelling, and worst of all dragging chairs over the stone floor. They were asked to go after about twenty minutes and of course caused a fuss, but eventually they went.

p51642 · 05/08/2017 17:52

I went out with my baby to a carvery at about 5weeks old but she slept the whole time I was with my whole family so felt ok. but my friends wanted to go for a meal but I said no as I didn't want to spend the whole time rocking my baby if she decided to scream as my family would help out and take turns I wouldn't expect my childless friends to do that for me

squoosh · 05/08/2017 17:54

A soother dipped in brandy. That would have worked a treat.

Original poster
Happyeverafter73 · 05/08/2017 17:56

Ha ha squoosh Grin

OP posts:
Marinade · 05/08/2017 18:03

Of course you should be able to go to a nice restaurant without listening to children or babies scream. When you are paying to enjoy something it is not acceptable for other's to ruin the enjoyment by allowing a child to cry like that. I found having young babies so unpredictable and stressful and was so worried about encountering situations like this that I avoided it. It is unfair, rude and inconsiderate to impose your children on other people in this way. Preserve your sanity by taking a long walk or a bath! Eating out is not a human right.

PinguForPresident · 05/08/2017 18:08

YABVU to say that people with small babies should "just get a fucking babysitter". There's no way on earth I could have left either of my breastfed babies for as much as a couple of hours at that age.

They weren't unreasonable to want to go out - most babies would have slept happily in a car seat, or on the boob at that stage. It's much easier to take a newborn out to a restaurant than it is a cruising 11-monther, or food-flinging 6 month-er.

They were unreasonable to not deal with the crying.

PollyFlint · 05/08/2017 18:16

Absolutely fine to take a baby to a restaurant. Some babies will happily sleep or sit there gurgling away while parents eat, and not everyone can just get a babysitter easily. Especially if the baby's breastfed.

Not fine to sit there while it screams, though. If your child screams for long enough to ruin everyone else's evening, you feed it and take it for a nappy change if necessary and if it's still screaming, you pay your bill early and go home. Yes, the parents' evening is ruined by that and I feel sorry for parents in that situation but ultimately it's their baby and it's rude to sit there while the poor thing screams and ruins everyone else's evening too.

MycatsaPirate · 05/08/2017 18:21

I am finding it really hard to believe that a four week old baby was left screaming for 30 minutes while the parents ignored it to eat. 30 minutes is a fucking long time. I call bullshit on the time the baby cried and I call bullshit on the parents ignoring it.

And I agree that people are intolerant of kids in this country. We went to Asda today and there was a woman with her toddler and her mum and the toddler (probably about 2?) was really kicking off about going in the trolley seat and was yelling and crying before they even got into the first aisle. I just stopped next to them and said 'hello! what's up? Is it because you are sat in the trolley? Asda is boring isn't it!' and he just stopped crying and stared at me! Dp was trying to drag me away saying leave him alone but the mum was so grateful that I just stopped to talk and it worked, it stopped him crying.

I always remember that at one point that was me. I was the one with the crying baby/toddler. The one who wouldn't be pacified by me but often someone else would just step in and calm things down. We need more of that, not judging people.

Christinayangstwistedsista · 05/08/2017 18:24

I find adults using mobile phones in restaurant s more annoying than noisy children

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 05/08/2017 18:30

I am finding it really hard to believe that a four week old baby was left screaming for 30 minutes while the parents ignored it to eat. 30 minutes is a fucking long time. I call bullshit on the time the baby cried and I call bullshit on the parents ignoring it.

Well as you weren't there you don't know.

If you don't believe the OP you are free to report them.

And I agree that people are intolerant of kids in this country.

No not at all. Not intolerant of kids at all.
Intolerant of parents who are selfish, yes.

The one who wouldn't be pacified by me but often someone else would just step in and calm things down. We need more of that, not judging people.

Some may be grateful. Others may tell you fuck off.

squoosh · 05/08/2017 18:35

'And I agree that people are intolerant of kids in this country.'

'I was the one with the crying baby/toddler. The one who wouldn't be pacified by me but often someone else would just step in and calm things down.'

Your second statement seems to disprove your first.

MaisyPops · 05/08/2017 18:47

And I agree that people are intolerant of kids in this country
Nobody is having an issue with the baby. Babies sleep, eat, poop and cry. The baby is more than able to be present at a meal.

People are intolerant of PARENTS who take babies to places and then ignore babies crying because it doesn't suit them.

The issue is with the ADULTS.

No different to having and issue with adults who allow their children to treat everywhere as a playground, or shout in the library etc.

Want to go for a meal with a young baby, fine, but show some consideration if baby is disturbing other people present.

hks · 05/08/2017 19:01

maybe they were having a meal to celebrate a special occasion or even want anyone else to look after their new baby at that age
& NOT everyone has access to grandparents /babysitter so they can have some time alone

MadMags · 05/08/2017 19:06

And maybe everyone else there was desperate for alone time, which was ruined by a screaming baby.

The difference is there are two people in the scenario responsible for placating the baby, and they both sat there ignoring it.

Floggingmolly · 05/08/2017 19:08

And maybe everyone else in the restaurant was also there for a "special occasion", hks Confused
Why should they be happy to have a screaming baby thrust into the middle of it?

fatimashortbread · 05/08/2017 20:44

i can not stand the sense of entitlement people have to advocate others don't take their children to a restaurant - how are they going to learn to behave? Having said that if my child screamed for more than a minute I would take them outside- unless it was pouring

Rabblemum · 05/08/2017 20:51

I wouldn't have trusted anyone with my babies that young but I did have evenings out. I would never let a baby screen it's head off at that age, it's not a tantrum this baby needs feeding, changing or winding, the parents need to sort their baby out.

sympatico1 · 05/08/2017 21:37

A gang of us were in a restaurant (we were work colleagues, who no longer work together, so meet up every two/three months for a get together) and were have a great time catching up and I admit have a really good laugh. A 'lady' (I am sorry, but she was no lady in my eyes) came over and asked us to be quiet as we had woken her babies (twins) up with our laughing!! This, I might add, was at 10.00pm in a restaurant!! Most of us are parents (grandparents in some cases) and could not believe what we were hearing! We were all just flabbergasted - if you want babies to sleep, they should be at home in their cots, just like our babies were!! And, yes, I do understand that it can be hard to get a life when you have babies and can't get a babysitter and are desperate for some normality, but if you have to take out your new baby to a restaurant and it is late evening, then you should expect that adults will be behaving like adults and not be wispering for fear of waking sleeping children at the next table!!!!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 05/08/2017 21:43

I'm 100% with you on that one sympatico! Entitled twat.

Drivingmenuts · 05/08/2017 22:10

FFS give them a break. Its probably the first time they have left the house and tried to do something together, and too soon to feel they can leave their lovely new baby. In Italy (or somewhere else more tolerant of kids than the UK) a lovely waiter (or someone else in the restaurant) might give the baby a cuddle and let them enjoy a few minutes together.

squoosh · 05/08/2017 22:13

Sheesh.

It's the parents that were the issue, not the crying baby.

Loving all the tales of 'on the continent where they don't despise babies with every fibre of their being.....' stories though.