That they should have just got a fucking babysitter

[Happyeverafter73]

I am sitting in a nice restaurant trying to have a good evening with my friends. And the couple next to me have their baby, no more than 1 month old. Screaming his or her head off for half an hour.

AIBU that they should not bring a tiny baby into a restaurant?

PND is indeed horrific, but nobody is saying 'don't go out', people are saying don't ignore your screaming baby in a restaurant and spoil everyone else's meals.

Maybe what the OP and her MNers friends at the table should have done is to offer a bit of sympathy to the couple

No one has said they don't have sympathy.

Sitting there with a screaming baby for half an hour is extremely selfish.

Yep ok to take it but not ok to make others suffer the crying.

Should have clarified that the baby in my post was not one month old. However, it is still relevant as babies don't suddenly become cry-free once they are two months old.

I agree that the parents shouldn't let their baby disturb the whole restaurant, however

• one person's "nice" restaurant is another's Pizza Express, maybe it's the sort of place that welcomes children, especially at that hour.
• we don't know what the parents were doing, were they ignoring and carrying on with their meals or were they trying to pacify the baby?
• if the baby was a month old maybe the parents had gone into sleep deprived panic mode and simply didn't think to take the baby outside?

Yes it's annoying but if it's been every single day and night for the parents then it's been worse for them.

Even in a child friendly place I would expect a crying baby to be taken out to settle if they didn't settle after a few minutes. It's one thing expecting a bit of noise from kids and another thing entirely to have a baby wailing for an extended period of time. It cuts right through you and is impossible to ignore.
I agree with the consensus that babies in restaurants are absolutely fine but screaming babies anywhere the parents aren't trying to settle is not on.
Going to restaurant for a lot of people is a treat they've saved up for (it is for us) they should be able to enjoy the meal in peace.

Same gamer.
If I was in a family friendly place then 5 minutes with a parent trying to calm/soothe baby is fine (assuming it's not a full on scream-fest) and then I'd expect someone to nip out with baby.

If it's a nicer place then I'd expect the settle and then take baby out time to be much shorter.

I have no problem with babies and small children in restaurants. I do have a problem with parents who basically ignore their child though.

At 1 month my twins both had horrific colic and would scream for ages, despite constant cuddles, feeding and massage. No way would I have chanced a restaurant just because I felt it was my right and I had no babysitter.

Sometimes you have to forget about doing some of the things you used to for the good of your child. It's not forever, ffs.

It's fine to take a baby to a restaurant. It's not fine to stay while it's screaming. We used to take it in turns to eat while the other walked around the block with DS if he wouldn't settle.

Maybe you should have left... if it bothered you so much...

Maybe you should have left... if it bothered you so much
Thats not how it worka.
The onus is on the disrupting individuals to sort it or leave.

Group gets rowdy in a pub, they get asked to leave.
People are being antisocial on a train, they get asked to leave.
Somebody is confrontational towards staff members, they are escorted out.
Someone wants to have a phone conversation but they're in the quiet carriage, they leave the carriage.
A student is disruptive in a lesson, they are sent to work somewhere else.
Your phone goes off in a library or quiet place, you take the call outside.
Your baby is making a disruptive noise, you take it outside and settle them.

It's not the job of everyone else to respond to the disruption and remove themselves, whatever the source of the disruption.