AIBU about my MIL

[sowhatusernameisnttaken]

My child has been a good sleeper from day one which I put down to a good routine and being consistent. Every night he pushes it bit because I've never given in and remained firm we have never had any issues with sleep.
He was also quick to potty train. The first couple of weeks even month were really intense and hard work.
He's been with me every day practically since birth yet my MIL says I've been lucky that he happens to be a good sleeper and that I was lucky with his toilet training. Zero credit for all the hard work I put in to raising him or anything I may have done and it really pisses me off. Am I being OTT. I don't really like her so it's difficult to have perspective on the issue!

Your MIL is entirely right. You were lucky!

You are lucky
I'm sure you're a great parent but really. Stop blowing your own trumpet so much! One day you're gonna have a rude awakening 😂

Well it's not very nice/supportive of her to say but you do seem very sure it's all down to you.

In the nicest possible way my DD1 was like your baby. I thought I was vair vair good at being a mother. Then DD2 came along..... Did the same things but she had other ideas.

It is good to have a routine and i'm sure it will have helped but I think in all probability you also have an easy baby.

Haha i was just like you with my first. When my second came i realused how wrong i was.

YABU

A lot of people do the same things you did and it doesn't work so yes you were lucky.

Hhhaaaaahhhhhaaaaa

Yeah yabu.

But i get it. I thought the same with dd. Then i had ds. Turns out it was mainly down to dd, that she was a good sleeper.

So been there.

He wasn't easy on Loads of other ways just on these fronts so I'm not saying I'm a great parent by any means

All the routine and consistency in the world didn't help my DS when he was little and struggling with reflux. Sounds like you did all the right things, but you were definitely lucky too.

Also, I hope you aren't one of those Mums that gives advice to parents of babies / toddlers who don't sleep. They always sound particularly smug!

My first DD was like that....the second not so...

You are lucky.

YABU, it is luck.

Would you have "never given in" if he screamed and screamed and got more and more worked up to the point of hysterical?

Totally luck. I've 2 DC. One was easy to get into a routine and slept well. One was a sleep deprivation torturer who resisted routine. I could put one down in a crib to go to the loo, one started rolling at a month and would throw themselves at wall/crib side hard enough to make a thud and scream if not held. No difference in techniques, feeding method etc, just completely different types of babies.
Both adorable but one is a human hurricane and the other is super chilled.

My cousins were like that ApocalypseNowt.

Baby 1 - "look, it's all very straightforward, you just put the work in and get the results. We've done bath-bottle-book-bed from Day 1 and never had any trouble with bedtimes! Honestly I don't know why people make such a fuss."

Baby 2: "Oh THIS is why people make such a fuss... "

Im never very sure about people who are trying to base their self esteem on the behaviour of their children. YABU and your MIL is right.

I think it wouldn't hurt for your MIL to praise you as you are obviously doing a great job but you should realise you are also lucky. My second baby was very, very easy. I counted my blessings daily as my first had been an entirely different story. I had frequently wondered if I was doing something terribly wrong with my first. My second taught me that I hadn't done anything wrong (oh the relief), just very different babies. And now very different, but wonderful, children.

Will when you have your next one, you'll find out of it was you or not

But it's not a competition. Ignore mil, I mean if she says it all the time, she is shit stirring because she can see it pushes your buttons.

I think she's right. Or she's right at least in part.

Sorry, but your MIL is right. No amount of great parenting will make a baby sleep when it doesn't want to, or potty train when it isn't ready.

Why don't you like your MIL? Have you actually tried to get on with her?

Not sure my self esteem rests on this issue?!

Ok I get it, it was pure luck. Good job I agreed and smiled when she said it 😉

OP, you clearly want credit for him having been a good sleeper and quick to toilet train. You feel so strongly about it that you say it 'really pisses you off' that your MiL attributes it to luck, and you've posted on MN about it. I think it's pretty clear your self-esteem - or at least your esteem of yourself as a parent - is relevant to this!

DS had a strict bedtime routine from six weeks old. He is nearly 5 and still doesn't sleep through the night. You were lucky.

Of course looking after a baby is hard work, but if you have a poor sleeper then all the brilliant routines in the world will not make a blind bit of difference.
Despite parenting them exactly the same way I ended up with 1 brilliant sleeper and 1 rubbish sleeper. The rubbish sleeper continued to be rubbish until teenager hormones kicked in i.e. there was probably not a blind bit of difference I could have made.

Parents who think their wonderful child is solely due to their great parenting and not down to any sort of luck, always make me want to wish their next child to be the child from hell just to wipe the smug look off their face.

Is a month of hard work 'quick' toilet training? My DS did it in a week (which I attribute entirely to good luck).

I'm not having another so I can't test out my "great parenting" but if I did and they were the same I would get replies of "well I had dc 1 and 2 who were great and then I had dc3 who wasn't!"