To have told this woman I don't want to be her friend?

[EddysWildHair]

DS started school last September. I always try and avoid the school gates as I don't want to socialise whilst there but for the past 6 months or so this Prisoner Cell Block H woman has forced her company into me. I just don't like her or want to socialise with her! I've tried standing in different places, ignoring her as much as pos without being totally rude and telling her I'm busy when she asks about going for coffees etc but she just won't fuck off.

Since summer holidays started the school have ran a play group for the little ones so I've been taking DS. This morning she turns up, seeks me out and then starts waffling on about how much her DS has missed mine and how great it is that we can continue seeing each other through the summer holidays. Today she caught me on one of my less tolerant days so I said to her "to be honest, I'm not here to socialise, I like my own company so if I don't seem very friendly, don't take it personally". She said "oh no I'm the same! I like to just come here and then go home, not stand chatting!". I replied "good, well I'll see you around then" and walked to the other side of the room.

5 minutes later she came across to me and said "have you seen how well they play together? Isn't it nice! I was thinking, the leisure centre do a sports club for little ones, why don't we meet up there next week?".

Now I'm sorry but I feel I've been more than patient!!! So I said "because like I told you, I like my own company and don't want to socialise". She replied "but it's not for us, it's for the little ones?". So I snapped and said "why do you constantly say "little ones"? It's really annoying. Anyway can you please leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you. I've tried to be polite but I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself! You're spoiling my time here!". She gasped and said "wow, who pissed on your side of the bed this morning! I was just being friendly!" So I said "and now you've seen my not so nice side and the reason I don't socialise so can you please fuck off?".

She did fuck off but not before reporting me to the group leaders!!! Before anyone says it I know I'm not a nice person but that's why I choose not to socialise!! I'd told her numerous times politely to leave me alone!!! AIBU to think it's her fault we ended up arguining as she just wouldn't take no for an answer???

OP put up with being chased for half a year, several times politely explained to the other woman she wasn't interested in socialising, so eventually caved in.

your son is now less likely to be invited to parties once it gets around how you've spoken to this other mum who stalked you for half a year

That's a perfect reason for not socialising at the school gates with other Mums.

Actually if someone told me to fuck of in a setting I couldn't kick off back to , id think, cheeky cheeky bitch and I'd make sure I caught them another time to see if they wanted to have a go again

i imagine people tell you to fuck off quite frequently with that appalling attitude.

I don't believe a word of it. No one is that rude. This is a wind up surely?

Either way, she persevered with you. That is credit to her

It really isn't. What are people not getting about this? When someone does not want to talk to you and you keep on at them anyway, you are not being friendly. You are not being nice. You are not a nice person. You're an annoying shite at best. You are weird and socially inept.

You're doing exactly that on this thread, bollox. The irony

Yeah but she really let herself down didn't she! Beyond lowering herself.
And the staff know too😆

There's a difference between not wanting to socialise and being miss high and mighty.

She'll be asked to stay off the premises if she keeps it up.

Those posters saying "if I was the other mum", would you ever pester someone like that? 6 months of no-thank-you vibes wouldn't shake you off? I find the other woman both arrogant (her friendship and company are so unquestionably good, the OP gets no say) and needy like hell.

As I said before, I have a fellow school gate parent who pesters me, so I might be biased. But it is really annoying, I don't want to duck and dive and run. It shouldn't take dozens of polite noes every school term to back off.

itstoolateforthisbollox

Never, because I would tell someone to fuck off! Do you know Anyone that thinks it's ok? In any setting?

Wouldn't ^

You're doing exactly that on this thread, bollox. The irony

There is no irony. You seem to have fundamentally misunderstood how an internet forum works.

Never, because I would tell someone to fuck off! Do you know Anyone that thinks it's ok? In any setting?

Yes, I do. When you have tried everything else and a person refuses to leave you alone, I don't see a problem with telling them to fuck off. It's their own fault if they are determined to force you into it.
The woman here swore first, after all. The self righteous fuckers seem determined to ignore that?

I understand that there is no official thread monitor, yet you seem to have appointed yourself as one.
You don't have to keep explaining (your take on) op's position. If she feels misunderstood she could return to fight her own corner.

Only read the first few pages but am amazed that most pps here seem to ignore the fact that the woman had been stalking/trying to attach herself to the OP for 6 months, not understanding "no". Funnily enough you all don't seem to think that she was being rude, following the OP around despite having been told several times to get lost?

Never mind how rude (or not) the OP was - why was the other woman even in the position that she had to be on the receiving end of it?

OP, YANBU.

Bollox, Bollox,Bollox

Self righteous fuckers! I've just looked at other threads you're on and it's like your pointing a fingers at others when your finger should really swing round back at yer!

Good for you, you just said it like it is. She wasn't getting the message. She is now. Ignore the haters on here, go over to Mumsnet madness, they love you on there!

Again with chatting to someone for a few minutes at the school gate being referred to as stalking!
Well done op. You refuse to accept any social discomfort so that your child can enjoy a playdate. I hope you enjoy the kudos you receive for 'telling it like it is' almost as much as your son might have enjoyed seeing one of his classmates in the holidays.

Jaysus wonder how soon it will be before your kid tells another one to fuck.off..ill give it a month

Go over to Mumsnet, redsquirrel? . Where did you think you were posting, Dicksnet?

Good in you OP. I've experienced limpets, they are a nightmare and don't take the hint, ever, until you blow! It's the problem with being too polite and nice to start with (so ignore the not so nice comments, you've tried). Unfortunately, from my experience, lots of limpet types have sadly got their own issues, through no fault of their own, we can do our best to acknowledge that, but it isn't our responsibility to make them happy.

, this lad isn't a part of the friends circle, he's unfortunately like his mother and forces his company of them.

Or is just lonely and desperate to find a friend. Because maybe he has never 'gelled' with anyone. Or maybe he doesn't know how to do it.
And maybe she's the same.

But that's just tough for both of them, hey?

The OP was rude but in all fairness she did at first tell the woman to back off! Wish I had the balls to do that. There's a mum at pre-school who has befriended me and after 1 play date I'm out of excuses to not meet up again. Our DDs will be starting different schools next month so hoping it will naturally fizzle out. She mainly annoyed me as I cancelled the first play date as I had an emergency doctor's appointment, long story short but it ended in a colonoscopy! I didn't tell her that, said I'd explain when I saw her. For the second one I said on the day I'd be about 20 mins late due to my newborn son's napping and she messaged me every 5 minutes after that to check where I was

What annoyed me most was, when I got there, I explained about the colonoscopy, thinking it's not really anything to be embarrassed about, were both adults. A bit later on there was suddenly smell of a poo-ey nappy and the other mum said (loudly in soft play) to her DD "it's probably Cherry as she has bum problems" then laughed hysterically she also rattled off a few inappropriate comments and she couldn't remember another child at preschool's name so she said "you know which one, the chinky one"

Needless to say I didn't find any of it funny, she keeps asking me to meet up again but I really can't be bothered sitting through her inappropriate drivel.

Mumsnet madness! Right up my street thanks redsqirrel.

Actually if someone told me to fuck of in a setting I couldn't kick off back to , id think, cheeky cheeky bitch and I'd make sure I caught them another time to see if they wanted to have a go again

Lovely.

And if the situation then escalated? You'd look really clever when the police arrived, wouldn't you?

Your poor little one