To have told this woman I don't want to be her friend?

[EddysWildHair]

DS started school last September. I always try and avoid the school gates as I don't want to socialise whilst there but for the past 6 months or so this Prisoner Cell Block H woman has forced her company into me. I just don't like her or want to socialise with her! I've tried standing in different places, ignoring her as much as pos without being totally rude and telling her I'm busy when she asks about going for coffees etc but she just won't fuck off.

Since summer holidays started the school have ran a play group for the little ones so I've been taking DS. This morning she turns up, seeks me out and then starts waffling on about how much her DS has missed mine and how great it is that we can continue seeing each other through the summer holidays. Today she caught me on one of my less tolerant days so I said to her "to be honest, I'm not here to socialise, I like my own company so if I don't seem very friendly, don't take it personally". She said "oh no I'm the same! I like to just come here and then go home, not stand chatting!". I replied "good, well I'll see you around then" and walked to the other side of the room.

5 minutes later she came across to me and said "have you seen how well they play together? Isn't it nice! I was thinking, the leisure centre do a sports club for little ones, why don't we meet up there next week?".

Now I'm sorry but I feel I've been more than patient!!! So I said "because like I told you, I like my own company and don't want to socialise". She replied "but it's not for us, it's for the little ones?". So I snapped and said "why do you constantly say "little ones"? It's really annoying. Anyway can you please leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you. I've tried to be polite but I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself! You're spoiling my time here!". She gasped and said "wow, who pissed on your side of the bed this morning! I was just being friendly!" So I said "and now you've seen my not so nice side and the reason I don't socialise so can you please fuck off?".

She did fuck off but not before reporting me to the group leaders!!! Before anyone says it I know I'm not a nice person but that's why I choose not to socialise!! I'd told her numerous times politely to leave me alone!!! AIBU to think it's her fault we ended up arguining as she just wouldn't take no for an answer???

I did not read the full thread, because it is looooooong. But the OP made me laugh, and fuck me, I almost like this not nice woman. I wish I could be this terribly blunt sometimes, I wish I could shake off the annoying gentility we, civilised human beings, especially the women, have to show all the fucking time!
So, no, OP, I would not have said what you said, but Christ, sometimes I wish I did.
At least the OP is not bleating "I am a good person", like so many irritating or obnoxious fuckers do.

Hoopla - it's mumsnet. None of us were actually there. We HAVE to make assumptions. The first one is that the post is real. The second is that OP is describing events as they happened. We all have to make assumptions about each other and our motivations etc because it's really just words on a page. Those assumptions will always be based on our own experiences and therefore there will (almost) never be unanimity on a thread. It's all subjective.

😂 Jesus wept!

MandateMandy I know that. Thanks for taking the time to painstakingly explain it though. I still don't conform to the way of thinking which means online assumptions=perfectly/real life assumptions=vile.

The OP is just trying to justify and reassure herself because otherwise she'd have to feel embarrassed or even a bit ashamed of herself, it's the same way some kids behave after a tantrum. She's been winding herself up all day about it. I don't need to say sorry. The other mother deserved it. It was all her fault that I lashed out. No-one else heard. No-one likes her kid. She's batshit. I'm a nice person really. I've got friends. I don't condone bullying.

Whatever.

You're giving a very good impersonation of someone who doesn't know that, Hoopla. Your posts are getting more incoherent by the minute.

Really? Incoherent how? Because I don't agree with you? Because I put forward another view?

Ah Mandy good old Lizzie! Loved her. Doreen is now in Neighbours! Loved Prisoner CBH! I realized after a while Bernard that Vinegar Tits meant nothing to some the younguns but Vera became lovely Celia Alfs sister and all was well with the world.

Funny old thread. A load of hysterical spiteful women calling the OP all sorts of nasty names, predicting hers and her sons future and swearing horribly at her and ALL because she swore at a woman who wouldn't leave her alone. Odd.

Oh I've just realised! It's because I've dared to call you out on your hypocrisy and you've been left with egg on your face...

My apologies. I'll leave it there then, I don't want to show you up further 😉

Hypocrisy?? You've lost me completely, Hoopla
think I'll stay lost, actually, this is getting surreal Have you been at the sherry bottle, by any chance?

You're welcome Hoopla - but it was really no trouble at all. Certainly not painstaking!

Tbh - I have no fucking idea what you are on about. You are making assumptions but no one else should? Or no one should make assumptions. The whole online assumptions=perfectly/real life assumptions=vile. has me stumped??

I also think it was a bit weird and pass remarkable to say that the OP "clearly doesn't have a way with words"!! I understood her perfectly well. Or maybe I'm just assuming I understood her....

I'm assuming Hoopla is a bit of a Loola, tbh.

I think in the future we should describe any socially awkward people as a bit "prisoner cell block h" in homage to this thread

If I were prisoner cell block h woman (sorry that just autocorrected from 'your son's friend's mum', I have no control over my keyboard) I'd be telling you to go fuck yourself with your apology. Of course she's upset. I also wouldn't be encouraging my DS's friendship with yours because I couldn't be arsed having to interact with you in future.

You're on Bernard.

MandateMandy

What you did wasn't nice OP but I empathise with you as I am not a sociable person either. I HATE small talk as well and will do anything to avoid it.

Wow OP! ... wow! .... (people r not all horrible you know. This lady might be nice. She persevered with you, even though I'd be surprised if she hadn't spotted you to be a bit unusual and stand offish. She must have seen something in you, or really wanted to give her dc the chance to play with yours. Either way, she persevered with you. That is credit to her. You might have come to like her in time, if you'd not been so unpleasant.

OP, OP.... really? .... wow ... (what u did would have really upset me by the way, if I was that lady. )

Wow!

Wow!! .... sorry still thinking about this! ... just... wow!

Stop with the wowing Ocean

I like my own company too OP but when DD was growing up, I socialised a bit with other mums and we looked after each other's children and so on. I found that yes, you do have to put the 'little ones' feelings before your own.
But you certainly told her didn't you?!

wow! ( sorry couldn't resist fluffy!!) point taken! See too many wows could b annoying!! .. but ... omg!!!

Too harsh OP.

Op, are you... vinegar tits????

That's how you knew she was Prisoner Cell Bock H isn't it.

Telling someone to fuck off will get a response won't it! She chose to report you probably before she floored you or gave you a better mouthful back. Actually if someone told me to fuck of in a setting I couldn't kick off back to , id think, cheeky cheeky bitch and I'd make sure I caught them another time to see if they wanted to have a go again. Maybe 'prisoner cell block' woman will! Sooo unreasonable,