To have told this woman I don't want to be her friend?

[EddysWildHair]

DS started school last September. I always try and avoid the school gates as I don't want to socialise whilst there but for the past 6 months or so this Prisoner Cell Block H woman has forced her company into me. I just don't like her or want to socialise with her! I've tried standing in different places, ignoring her as much as pos without being totally rude and telling her I'm busy when she asks about going for coffees etc but she just won't fuck off.

Since summer holidays started the school have ran a play group for the little ones so I've been taking DS. This morning she turns up, seeks me out and then starts waffling on about how much her DS has missed mine and how great it is that we can continue seeing each other through the summer holidays. Today she caught me on one of my less tolerant days so I said to her "to be honest, I'm not here to socialise, I like my own company so if I don't seem very friendly, don't take it personally". She said "oh no I'm the same! I like to just come here and then go home, not stand chatting!". I replied "good, well I'll see you around then" and walked to the other side of the room.

5 minutes later she came across to me and said "have you seen how well they play together? Isn't it nice! I was thinking, the leisure centre do a sports club for little ones, why don't we meet up there next week?".

Now I'm sorry but I feel I've been more than patient!!! So I said "because like I told you, I like my own company and don't want to socialise". She replied "but it's not for us, it's for the little ones?". So I snapped and said "why do you constantly say "little ones"? It's really annoying. Anyway can you please leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you. I've tried to be polite but I shouldn't have to keep repeating myself! You're spoiling my time here!". She gasped and said "wow, who pissed on your side of the bed this morning! I was just being friendly!" So I said "and now you've seen my not so nice side and the reason I don't socialise so can you please fuck off?".

She did fuck off but not before reporting me to the group leaders!!! Before anyone says it I know I'm not a nice person but that's why I choose not to socialise!! I'd told her numerous times politely to leave me alone!!! AIBU to think it's her fault we ended up arguining as she just wouldn't take no for an answer???

2 things are making me doubt this thread is all it seems.

1. the op is irrationally annoyed by the use of the term 'little ones' yet early in her op talks about a group for little ones (her words, not quoting anyone).
2. What was meant to be in the op that corrected to Prisoner Cell Block H? After all these posts still no answers to these things!

Mother I agree but your stalker got the message, this one didn't, how long before you need to spell it out?

Hmmm, yeah ok. 10 minute chat, x2 a day, x5 a week. Yeah you can have a stab at whether someone is ok and safe to be around your child. You could also be HUGELY wrong. Even if you're not, you know their cantankerous grandad isn't going to come round unexpectedly while your child is there for tea? You know their OH is just like they are when you talk to them in the playground? Because there are weird, fucked up, annoying, dangerous, shitty people everywhere.

After a quick search, 'Random words inserted into text while writing text message' is a thing or could have been accidentally pasted. Apparently there's a show with the name, the H seems very specific to say it's a poor person ends up in prison. However for arguments sake lets say she meant to write it. Why does it suggest the woman is poor? Do MC or rich people not go to prison?

Hoopla Bet you are a riot at parties [grins].

So your logic is that if I saw a parent walloping a child in the middle of the street I should still let my child go to their house because I don't know that other people don't wallop their kid at home?

Or... that I should never let my child go anywhere?

You don't know for sure who your child will be exposed to in someones home but anyone sending their kids to the ops home would be sending them to be looked after by someone who describes themselves as 'not nice'. I wouldn't be in a rush to send my child there.
I also wouldn't have given the op the time of day after the first time at the toddler group. It seems to me like the other woman took the hint that the op didn't want to socialise but didn't realise she would also be imposing it on her son. Most introverted parents still make the effort for their kids to have playdates ime.

Of course there are Hoopla But you can't demand a dbs on all family members or ask for testimonials. So its either suss people put a bit or keep your child in isolation.

If someone is frankly so odd that they can't handle school pick up without a showdown then no way will I or my children be socialising with them.

If you watched Prisoner you would probably know she meant poor or gay or both (unless she was talking about Pixie, in which case she thinks the other woman looks like ditzy but beautiful bigamist)

At the very core of most advice on here, is the sentiment "tell them to fuck off, they sound awful"

And then comes along an op who actually does this.

Gets flamed.

Funny.

The problem was that the lady tried too hard! You're best off just extending the play date invitation and then moving on if the other person doesn't want to talk.

It's strange, though, I don't necessarily socialise with my DDs' friends' mums. My DD2 is very popular at school and she gets invitations to play with friends outside school. I generally take her to the friend's house and then pick her up when the time comes.

You don't need to become besties fgs!! Just make the arrangements and then see how it goes. OP could have said, ok let's exchange numbers and I'll get back to you. Simples, or should be!

Totally Allabit

Clearly showing my age and my penchant for late night 80's Aussie prison dramas!

Apparently there's a show with the name,

This women didn't sound awfuk though. She sounded nice. The op sounds like she has no social skills and confused the issue for 6 months so the woman had no idea what was happening when she said "don't mind me if I seem rude". That's why she was confused by the ott reaction. If the op had been clear from the start the woman wouldn't have been so surprised.

Hahahahahah now I am feeling very old because I though that was obvs Bernard

you would probably know

Except you don't know. She could have accidentally pasted it.

I used to use similar words until a lovely friend pointed out that they were actually pretty shitty

So are you a nasty person? Or are you a reformed nasty person?
Or do you only say shitty things where as people you take against are the nasty people?

And again, like I've already said, OP told the woman to fuck off AFTER having told the woman to leave her alone and AFTER the other woman swore first, which probably made the OP think it wasn't a no go. What she didn't do was wallop anyone, or shout at their child, or rugby tackle the woman to the floor and bite her lip off.

I'm not saying I wouldn't let my child/ren go to the OP's house or anyone else's, nor am I saying that I would let them go. My point is you don't KNOW this couldn't happen so what would you do after the event to protect your child from it? It's always a risk that's what I'm saying. So many people have piled in saying the OP has caused her child social death but in the same breath 'I wouldn't want my child around OP or their child'. Talk about blaming a child for the sins of their father! (Or mother in this case!) You lose moral superiority by openly admitting you would deliberately freeze a 5/6 y.o child out because you dislike something one of their parents has done. Behind closed doors you have NO idea what ANYONE gets up to.

Ginaford

Is awfuk a typo for awful or the sound Op made when she saw "annoying" Mum coming!

You can say you'd do anything when you're just writing it on a forum or talking hypothetically though. I often hear people say they 'would've slapped someone' or 'would've told them to fuck off' when they'd have actually done no such thing. The whole mn 'no is a complete sentence' thing baffles me as well. I've always took it to mean that you should always remember you have the right decline things because literally just saying 'no' followed by deathly silence would be really rude and awkward if you actually did it and I've never met an adult that has.

It was one example of nastiness from a self-confessed not very nice person. There were a few examples- so yeah I'll hedge my bets. Yup - sometimes I am nasty. When I am I take it on the chin when I'm pulled up for it.

On a side note if you have honestly never encountered Prisoner Cell Block H, I suggest you do. You won't regret it.

Op herself seems quite happy to exclude the other little boy, Hoopla. Talking about gangs, and the other kid's attempts to push his way in where he clearly isn't wanted by the social elite gang of five year olds
Or maybe just op's own five year old? The apple clearly hasn't fallen far from the tree.

Talk about blaming a child for the sins of their father! (Or mother in this case!) You lose moral superiority by openly admitting you would deliberately freeze a 5/6 y.o child out because you dislike something one of their parents has done

I never said I would stop her child from socialising with mine or even from coming to my house. But I certainly would be put off asking her in person in case she told me to fuck off, or gave me a death stare. Maybe I'd text her..... or get my husband to ask her

So if you knew someone was violent you would send your kid to their house because there could be someone violent at anyone's house?
In this case other parents now know that the op is rude, impatient, not a nice person (in her own words) and antisocial with other adults. That isn't going to give them much confidence that she would be any different with kids who, let's face it, are known for being persistent, annoying and conversing about mundane things at times.

I think it covers both Mandy

No thanks. I already have a backlog of shows I want to watch.

I'm sure you'll turn that into how I hate the old, poor or gay or both.