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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to take 4 mo baby on glamping hen do?

583 replies

TomBowler · 01/08/2017 23:18

I am MoH and bride asked me before I got pregnant but she knew we were TTC. I have offered to step down.

Baby is EBF. I don't pump and haven't tried a bottle. Not totally against it though.

Would be arriving on campsite Fri afternoon. I would boob DD to sleep about 7ish. Deploy video monitor (our group has excl use of campsite and DD and I have own tent). Return to group for silly games.

Saturday morning breakfast and It's A Knockout. Lunch. Saturday afternoon outdoorsy activity I wouldn't be able to do (pelvic floor, say no more) so will chill at campsite. Sat evening boob DD to sleep and Butler In The Buff coming to serve cocktails and not games.

Sun morning breakfast in farm shop.

OP posts:

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 02/08/2017 08:13

A baby monitor is no substitute for an actual present adult. There is something viscerally wrong to me about leaving a tiny baby alone in a tent to go partying

My first reaction too. I'm really surprised there were so many posts about changing the dynamics of the weekend before someone posted a comment about this aspect.

KitKat1985 · 02/08/2017 08:14

I think you've had a few harsh replies here OP, but I'm afraid I agree that no, you can't take a baby on a hen do. It would just completely change the dynamic. You can't expect the other attendees to keep the noise down whilst the baby sleeps, or to let them listen to a crying baby whilst they are trying to let their hair down, etc.

notberrysure · 02/08/2017 08:16

I'm pretty open about bringing babies along to things but I would be pisssed off if there was a baby at any hen do I was going to. I would see if she'll take bottles of EBF and leave her with your DP or don't go.

AnUtterIdiot · 02/08/2017 08:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tabymoomoo · 02/08/2017 08:17

Personally if it were me and the bride was one of my best friends I would be making every effort to start pumping and get baby used to a bottle. Takes a while to get used to pumping (don't give up when hardly anything comes out first few times) and a few attempts taking bottle (better if someone other than you does it). Then you could go for chunks of the hen do but maybe come home for overnights.

I would definitely NOT take a baby to a hen do even if the bride said it was ok.

GinIsIn · 02/08/2017 08:20

Don't go - nobody wants a baby on a hen do!

londonrach · 02/08/2017 08:22

Agree lass but i couldnt image any mum leaving an unattended child in a tent. I commented on the hen do bit only as the other bit must be made up.

PricklyBall · 02/08/2017 08:22

OP - you do realise tents have no soundproofing. And noise really carries on campsites. Sounds (butler in the buff) like your friends are planning a very boozy, noisy weekend. So picture two scenes - you at 9.00 pm 10.pm, 11 pm trying to settle a fractious baby who can't sleep because of the noise. Them at 5am, 6am, 7am trying to sleep off the hangover from hell with a baby repeatedly crying. And also no way would I leave a baby in a tent unattended.

Actually, and not being alarmist, just have friends who live rurally and keep chickens -I wouldn't leave a baby unattended because of the risk from foxes.

londonrach · 02/08/2017 08:23

...Of that age..

TestTubeTeen · 02/08/2017 08:23

If I was having a camping weekend, and my best friend had a baby, I would rather have my friend there and the weekend would be chilled, relaxed, bottle of wine round campfire outside baby's tent, everyone could bring their kids.

But I say that as a seasoned parent.

Child-Free brides booking naked butlers have a different experience and outlook.

pictish · 02/08/2017 08:25

I agree again.

SelmaAndJubjub · 02/08/2017 08:30

I'd say it's also very unfair on the other parent at the Do, who is probably hanging out for a precious child-free weekend of silliness and irresponsibility. It's one thing if you know you're going camping with other people's DC, it's totally another to think you're going to be child-free then have a tiny baby there.

She will tell you it's OK because she knows how if feels to be left out because you have a little one. But I bet she'll be gutted.

catsarenice · 02/08/2017 08:30

I quite like the phrase 'boob to sleep' - maybe that's because there's a woman at baby group who when talking about feeding her baby says she 'tits him off'

Rollonbedtime7pm · 02/08/2017 08:31

Don't know if already been said but also, I always found the one time my babies didn't follow their usual schedule (asleep at 7 etc) was the one time I needed them to! I could bet money that your baby won't even sleep as you expect and you will just spend all night in the tent trying to settle her.

I would start expressing so I could leave her with dad or not go I'm afraid!

viques · 02/08/2017 08:36

Depends on who you think the focus of the hen night should be on, the bride or your dear little baby.

AsleepAtMyDesk · 02/08/2017 08:36

YABVVVU.

putdownyourphone · 02/08/2017 08:37

How does a video monitor work in a camping situation? Is there wifi and a plug? Genuine question as never really camped before...

AnUtterIdiot · 02/08/2017 08:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RatRolyPoly · 02/08/2017 08:40

Meh, your baby would be welcome at my hen do OP. And with all my guests, I have no doubt, not least because there's an established precedent for this sort of thing in my social group. If it were me I'd probably have the baby asleep in their carrycot with me for the games rather than in the tent, but that's just me.

plantsitter · 02/08/2017 08:40

I wish I currently had a bf baby now so I could say I 'tit him off' at bed time. My mother would have kittens. Hilarious!

SuburbanRhonda · 02/08/2017 08:41

tits him off

That's grim.

Headofthehive55 · 02/08/2017 08:45

I think your hen do sounds better test tube

Chillywhippet · 02/08/2017 08:46

Op I think don't do it to yourself. If it's in the UK the weather may be diabolical - wet with Glastonbury mud or so hot you can't stay in tent and can't find shade elsewhere. I've camped without DH with friends when mine were babies and have spent the night lying awake between feeds freezing or unable to sleep due to the noise.

I would go in the days or for the evening and come home. Or give it a miss. I took a 5 week old to a very formal wedding. She was good but it was really stressful. I wasn't sat next to DH on seating plan although as soon as older couples sat on our table noticed everyone moved (discreetly. The bride had her special day. No weddings were ruined in the writing of this post)
Anyway we got to hotel room later and DD screamed presumably fed up of stressed snatched feeds all day. Obviously you baby is older but I wish I hadn't gone really.

Good luck op. Boob to sleep. Say it if you want to. It's not just the milk that knocks em out is it?

thethoughtfox · 02/08/2017 08:47

Please don't ask to bring your baby. It will put everyone in an awkward position.

waitforitfdear · 02/08/2017 08:55

You can't be serious op. Baby and hen do just no.

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